THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 3, Issue 290, 29 April 1879, Page 2

THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

"Ive been Roaming, Ive been Roaming." , Old Song., Yes, that's me. \l should "racier thinkj have been roaming. " '" From Indus to the Pole" would hardly"be too" strong a_~e_pression, allowing for the usual poatical license. Adventures by flood and field ph&ve I encountered not a few, and now I mlan to give the readers of the Mail the* full benefit of some of my varied experiences. I understand that the circulaution of, this journal has fallen offjmniensejy, since I ceased to wield my facile quill in its service. The boys tell me,- when would-be purchasers ask! what's ■in the .paper F .andi 4 they_canßpt <giye. .the-, .usual answer "Sundowner," that the paper is toissed back in disgust. . And serves the Mail right. It was. all ,< owing to the disgusting meanness'of thVconductor of that journal t 4hat .my numerous friends have been deprived of iheir. accustomed trefrt. .Pleas for modest advances, were, ignorainiously rejected,'and even the consolation of a.!"nip" T on'a!drouthy*dayiwas frequently denied me..' How could any man of selfrespect stand'fjijh conduct? : * : Could SK _ fellow who has seen" better days submit to I "bfe sat upon by a ~ —i well,-J Twon't give I vent'tO'mypantinpindignation.-1 Wiggins ahd I have agreed; to- let 'be bygones, and cemented' the compact over -.the flowing bowl,] partaken;-of,iis need hardly say, at his expense. (N.B. —This is a delicate way of describing the "putting away" of r.For as I said to him/after giving Him a bit of my mirtd-f.;,;!. .'.r i. r ,.~(,/_ ,f. .'.J.r 0 * .)y>Y. | " We'll tak' a cup o,' kindness.yet j For auld lang Byne. AndTMfe did./. ?..j r3. HI lA'}l Uj i ! And now, before I_go any further, I bave something "to. say. I'm in a terribly bad' fact, '. in iiC devfl[of a temper with soma .mean,'skunkf who have been takhig, advantage of .poor old Jack's absence to'vilify'lrun— 4,: s6nie person or persons as; the Coroner's juries say. But I have my suspicions, and if I find them out, let them beware—that's all. This is 1 how it ; canVe~ about:— I returned to my old Peninsula haunts, one> of the first fellows =1 ratt/against, was little Dick Smithers. Dick is a .very goodhatureclsort of Lwere always greatichum)y r ib a perfect terror for knowing everything - abouteverybody's business, and is always well up in the latest scandal. Ihad'just walked down from the Hill-top, and on reaching Brooks' went in for some j refreshment. ; In the proud consciousness of rsplvency. (for a few* coins then, reposed in my..! pocket, which have feitice, alas I vanished), I walked jup to,the,bar and demanded 'a !; pint. Sitting in a "corner I- perceived Dick, looking jrather woe-begone and out at elbows. He eyed me curiously, as is his- Wont with all (Strangers, but^evidently did not fejjpgnize, • me. I may remark enpdsadnf (excuse 1 the' [French, but I have» ! Been(_ibvingiin such grand; fsocietyi lately that-it comes quite ; natural) that my 'appearance was greatly | altered for the better-emee last I had been j knocking aboutjthe Penjnsnla. , ir Fdr a brief i period.lrhad been' reyellirig'iih. fqrtuneJ'B 1 ! smilesjand by "means of. 'tnb some friends, and an"amount- of heroic' self-denial Oh my own part, c I was (now: clothed in the habiliments .. of ■ society. .It is troestbM jthe 'coat wr&atoo loose, the waistcoat 'farrtop,tight.(split'up the back in fact), and tne'-tyousejrs. rather baggy abouttlieknMs,'but'there was. ho 1 denying* the aristbcratic 'effect of : the iout ensemble. (Off agaih,'ybtf_seeV'into fashionable lingo, but I : really can't help 1|); ! !My swag was,.gone,,andvwas. Replaced by a leather satchel,.and I fondly hoped that I might achieve the distinction of being taken for.a "gentleman on the survey," only I couldn't manage Knickerbockers, so had to give-up'tbeudea. i'l iwas rather proud of the idea of, being so altered, as not to be recognized by an'old crony, when, just "as I placed' the empty pewter on the counter (to be refilled/ of > course), Dick jumped -up,; and: pxclaiming-7-*'There's only one inah in tlie Peninsula ascah put himself outside his liquor in that form —it nn Ist be Jack," commenced to half j w_ng rriy hand off. -' T As boon -as we- -were comfortably seated over our grog, and had lit our pipes, .Dick began to ply me with questions., This was notbing new for'him, but hia questions appeared somewhat peculiar. "Whatdci yquthink of Lyttelton., Jack ?" said he. I was beginning to explain that I had not seen much of it during my absence, when he interrupted me by! exclaiming .with a ■ wink-*«f-Ifo| f dare! say tnbt," Jacltpflbot youj haven't gone short tucker, any way." 'You :betj"isaidil,/. M When, >there ! s : any-; thing,good going I'm :generally "there." " But how the mischief, * said ; _c, " did you manage to e—ist without your grog? " " Now, I know my ■vtfiakhess,) but I don't care to be chaffed about it by, a fellow like Dick, who is always .ready for a drain himself, if anyone will shout for him; *• so putting on-my severest and most dignified air, I said—" Mr Shiithere, Pamnof aware ■ that I have had to exist without my grog, and Lmust decline to be catechized any iQnger." ' ' Oh, you needn't be so high and mighty," 'saysDickj,;'. everybody • knows it. " Knows 1 f whatf jrbn 'impertinent littlb busy-body," said I, "whatfearful thing do theyjknbw "'"' ■" Wby, haven't yon just done three months'under, the\, Vag?'' said he. I collapsed, 'tod, now .Pm looking'forthe scoundrels-who put such a re- : port into circulation. But after all, 1 why , should I complain of Being made, in common with so many great men, a butt for the shafts of calumny? Let me take comfort from the words of the immortal bard, who says :— "No unght nor greatness in mortality Can censure 'scape; back-wounding calumny The. whitest virtue strikes. What King so strong : Gan tie the gall up in the slanderous ■-' ■tongue?" . ,' ';' ■ ; ■■■ During my'travels in the North Island a few weeks ago (of which more anon), I one day readied the summit of a bi11... To my great joy I then encountered; the ordinary roadside pub. To enter c and call for something to quench my constitutional thirst was the work of a moment Well, in my usual affable manner, I. got into conversation with the host, while sampling his liquors, and I had to sample a good many before I got hold of ono to my taste, one which-a fellow could get drunk on couiiortable. I asked him how. he,was

getting on, and he said he couldn't grumble as to the business, but the Licensing Bench and the Wairoa Buster had been rather hard on him. " What about ?" said I. " Well, you see, Sir," (fancy •• Sir," to me, instead of "Jack" or "Oldhoss"— there's nothing like fashionable clothes, after all) "you see once a month the Board of Public conservators meets here. I've nothing to say against them ; most of them are pretty good drinking men, and if there's one or two who hardly do their duty that way, the others make up for them. But you'd hardly believe the row some of those fellows kicked up because they had to harness their own horses while I was standing behind this bar attending to my legitimate business of selling drink. "You don't say so," says I. " Oh, but I do," continued mine host. "I was lectured by the Beak, and pitched into by that wretched Buster, and bow-T----shall want some handy man . before the next meeting; he ought '4cr be' a-'godd Lajithmetician." "I see,"jiaid I, "so as he ! can put down what the people havefHrarl* | visions of bliss flitted before me. What if I oould become engaged as the _,' handy man, 1 " and have the gratuitous of [wi bar during the whole ;day.. , v Put down ,be d d," says the " I can do that myself weU want him tb touht out th&oatstb tft&horm.'"< Where: upon I left, musing, and: thinking whaflT fsol that poet must have "been who wrote: ":Wb6*er. has- travelled t j^hat'erliis "stages, may h'fse hejsn, 1 \. I May sigh to think he J ltill'hatf V' ■' ; His warmest welcome at an itan;*! f n; ;:. .i •'.!.';•; \ ' ' ! .V "' /'^"'.Solong.JT