Page 3 Advertisements Column 1

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 3, Issue 285, 10 April 1879, Page 3

ONE THING AND ANOTHER, (Collated from our Exchanges.) An amusing practical joke is described by the Fiji Times as perpetrated by a boniface in town of Levuka, who deceives his fellow-men by soldering shillings and sixpences to the heads of stout tacks, and driving them into not too conspicuous portions of the bar counter. Where the bump of acquisitiveness is at all largely developed, the inclination to appropriate and liquefy the apparently unclaimed representative of beer is irresistible, and the shouts of laughter which proclaims the successful " sell " is enhanced by the look of chagrin on the face of the would-be appropriate!-. To the" Fijian vendor of domestic bdds.and ends the coin possesses a marvellous fascination, and it is truly ludicrone to watch from a qniet corner the surprise and disgust of the innocent child of nature on finding his tenderest feelings have been so ruthlessly trifled with. Australia has already sent cricketers and rowing men to the mother country ■who have well sustained the honor of the antipodes in the old world, and now (says the Ballarat Star) we understand there is a probability of Victoria sending swimmers to England to do battle for glory in foreign waters. M*lndoe, who won the principal swimming races here lately, and his brother who .are both well known to be expert swimmers, are stated to be talking about taking a professional trip to Great Britain, and we have no doubt that if they do go they will render a good account of themselves. M. Debelle, a young doctor living at St. Denis, has just died under singularly painful circumstances. He was in the very act of being married when he was suddenly taken ill and fell senseless before the alter. He was conveyed home, where he expired in a couple of hours. It is supposed the joyful emotion of his wedding, combined with heart disease, was the cause of death. The Californian Advertiser tells an extraordinary story of a Chinese thief, with the singular name of Chew Kow Yup, who is about to return to Hong Kong, with a fortune of £18,000, amassed in seven years npon the slender capital of four words in "Pidgin English." His first exploit was breaking into a dry goods store, and was caught by a policeman. When collared he made no resistance, but innocently remarked. "You savee me leper," and the officer fled, giving his prisoner the opportunity to steal seven more undershirts, of which he promptly availed himself. He was only once brought into Court, being then charged with a wholesale robbery, and when asked to plead guilty or not guilty, simply repeated tbe words of his charms, in a voice at once plaintive and full of expression. The Court was cleared in less than forty seconds, two of the jury leaving their hats behind, and the judge his gold spectacles, all of which Mr Chew Kow Yup appropriated, together with the loose change in the clerk's drawer. The wealthy heathen is entirely free for leprosy. A'canny Scotchman takes a cautious man to deal with him , a 'cute Yankee is beyond being taken advantage of ; but a shrewd Maori can in niy opinion give either of these points and beat them. A tatooed native entered the of a local photographer a few; day's ago and asked, "How much you take for my photograph?" The. man whose apparatus can't lie anewered, " Five ehilHngfl for the first, and a "shilling: for the -second." A moment of reflection, and the, optics of the dark-visaged savage glistened as he bargained, "Kapai ;• the second time for the first!" -.. ■;..• : :

rriENDERS are invited for LIGHTX ING .. and, CLEANING the Oddfellows* Hall %r one year, as per specification, to. be.seen on application to Chairman. : z ;.] . : Tenders to be. in by noon of Wednesday, the 16th instant. W. MEECH, , , Chairman. FTIENDEBS are invited, to be sent JL -■■ in by noon of Wednesday, jfoy l6th inst, for P ; t>11) FENCE round school,'';' section, addressed to '." ; . ; ' ' : '- I ,.■"'■''.'"■■■:■"■'■•'■ ■ ■ WiMEECH, C- Chairman of School Committee, j SEASONABLE GOODS! WE have JUST OPENED out a splendid assortment of Goods as above, consisting of: : — i : : Min'S: Qvercoia.ts . ~: .. : : „; ■;■ '■ iS.OTak.ej jackets : _ ■■;;.•' ■■■'■■>'.., „ dile«i coats aiiS overalls". ],',{_ , , „ N -, •. „ „ Cardigan.Wkets . \ „ WooJ tnnfflers , „ Collar stnds, solitaires, and . .--fs'visiiites" " ''".' : ''.'.''.. : ' ; t „ Scarfed in numerons varieties s „ Elastic bracesand belts' „ , Ldtnb'swool paints and tinders •.'■;■'•>ei&te'V •'' - , ■ „ Wdollen socks, a large assorti Bo||' dothinig ■'•',';■;'■ ' '" ■ Do, hats aim Caps, 1 J ' . .&c.y ica,• ■ &c. OARWOOD & CO. GEAND BALL. A T the SOMERSET HOTEL, ./X. Head of the Bay, on MONDAY NIGHT, April 14, to wind up the Gricketing Season. , Five shilling a couple, supper in- ■ eluded. '>■■■■' THOMAS BROOKS.