ONE THING AND ANOTHER.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 3, Issue 282, 1 April 1879, Page 3

ONE THING AND ANOTHER.

(Collated from our Exchanges.) I do not suppose that any of the Apostlesleft six thousand pounds of property behind him in the world ; but the amount #» is an exceedingly small fortune.for a prosperous Cardinal to have accumulated. It " represents all the worldly goods of the late Cardinal Cullen, however; and yet considerably more than a million of money was bequeathed to him one way or another. Nearly half the amount was found in dashj and would probably have disappearedin unheard-of charity, had the cardinal lived a few months longer. From the British fleet in Eastern waters-: A young midshipman went out to join his ship, commanded by a gallant officer, otherwise, rather a don. He was met on ■» the deck by the captain, who said, " Well, youngster, so you've come to join us. I suppose it's the old story—the fool of the family, eh ? Haw, haw !" To which ! themiddy replied, in a squeaky voice, " 0 no,sir ; it's all changed since your day.". Exit captain. He was a simple sportsman who did not often go to church, but he had been much *• i impressed with the parable of Lazarus and Dives, notably wilh that portion of it in which-the attentions of the dogs to the cripple are set forth. Months after he went with' his she-cousins to a concert at * St. Jamejs' Hall, and heard a man play the clarionetwonderfully. " What's his name?" he asked. They replied, " Lazarus." He pondered a moment, and then muttered, "It would take a clever dog to lick that beggar." They were both short-frocked frilled darlings of the middlocracy, and were at school at a most select abode of learning and propriety at Brighton. Number One ■*■ was" the -daughter of the member for Muffborough. The sire of Number Two occupied a distinguished position in the gallery of the House of Commons. The girls were boasting about their respective m parents, and Number One awed them all by Baying, "My papa is a member of . Parliament 1" "Very likely," rejoined the irrepressible Number Two ; " but- my papa is a Parliamentary .Reporter;'!" Number One was quite extinguished till she made enquiries during the Easter holidays. She returned .radiant, waited hpr opportunity, and before the whole-of the, school said to Number -Two, "" Ah, I .'know; now what your papa is! Me's obliged to sit Ma cage, * and write down whatever-my.papa likes to . say /" , ..;; u /■;'.,' ;.' ''■'"• .' The following advertisement appeared in a late issue, of aW.angan.uL'c.ontemp6r- ;- «j ar y : —<< Wanted a first-class xuan to slaugtaeF,and;forboilingdown,&c--" Now it is hardly ■ credible 'that' our Wanganui friends" are" 'in' the llabit of' slaughtering and boiling down butcher's assistants, but the wording of: the above advertisement would lead'to such a'supposition.