A WIFE'S REVENGE

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 2, Issue 208, 16 July 1878, Page 3

A WIFE'S REVENGE

A story of the righteous retribution which falls on husbande who deeeiTe their wives is serviceable as a warning to all sorts and conditions of men in all countries, and it is with much satisfaction that we are enabled to relate an anecdote which introduces a Mrs Lewis— or, as the New York Times elaborately describes her—Mrs Colonel Lewis, of Clifton, Illinois. Mrs Lewis is not introduced because she is agreeable, however. On the contrary, the journal apologetically remarks that "it was certainly not her fault that she wae constructed at a period when the ' sugar and spice, and everythingnice,' which Dr AVatts assures us are the chief ingredients of girls, were apparently exhausted, and there were no materials available except vinegar and mustard." She was in fact a severe woman, but nevertheless she somehow managed to captivate Colonel Lewis, who is described as " a man with an excellent moral character and sandy hair." He likewise appears to have been addicted to searching for those saccharine materials in female guise, which, as already remarked, were conspicuously absent in his own wife ; and when she heard that a fancy dress ball was to be given she was greatly dismayed, until the Colonel casually informed her that of all things a fancy dress ball was his special detestation. Had he not been forced to visit Chicago the day the ball was to be held, nothing would have induced him to go, he assured her ; and she rested happy until a few days afterwards, when she was horrified at discovering in the Colonel's desk a catalogue ■ of fancy costumes which a Chicago tradesman offered to let upon very reasonable terms to persons about to attend masked balls. " Among these costumes was one. which was designed to enable the wearer to personate ahorse. It consisted..chiefly of a horse's head and silk tights. An unfinished letter in the handwriting of her treacherous husband showed that the wretched man intended to be present at the masquerade in this revolting costume, and that his pretence of business at Chicago was merely designed to deceive the wife of . his bosom." She did not appear before the Colonel with the treacherous missive in her hand, and perform that operation which is vaguely known* as " letting' him have it." On the contrary, she quietly wrote to the costumer and ordered a jockey dress, of which a good cutting jockey whip was to. be, an important part. So attired she arrived ai; the ball, closely msske<|, and the Colonel, failing to recognise her but attracted by her costume, forthwith addressed her. She replied with the whip so emphatically that the conversation was not continued. He therefore saluted another lady, and was just beginning a pleasant flirtation when the j jockey glided behind him and repeated the former operation. The tights, we were told were thin, and the blow " wrung from him a hasty theological expression, which caused his partner to leave him abruptly." Presently recovering he sought to forget his sorrows by

gliding in the mazy dance, but, just as he had begged for the honor of a waltz with a pretty peasant girl, two swift and cruel blows descended on his smart and smarting legs. Forgetting his partner he limped to a seat, and "indulged in language which, had he not spoken in a suppressed tone, would have cast a sulphurous glare over the assembly.' Wherever he went the*e wae the jockey and wherever the jockey went there was the whip, and, worst of all, when at length he went home there were jockey and whip in active possession. It is said that the Colonel's masked balls do not now form a favorite subject of conversation.