DOINGS AT COMATOSE VALE.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 2, Issue 201, 21 June 1878, Page 2

DOINGS AT COMATOSE VALE.

(Continued from Ne. 196.)

The public meeting of the citizens of the "Vale of Coma, to consider Sc. O'Dryly's proposal to borrow three million kouters, was duly held in the Town Ball. The Lormair opened' the proceedings by declaring that he would leave the meeting to do as it pleased, but that he felt-.it hie duty to inform them that everything was contrary, to law. He had obtained the very best advice from a celebrated Special Pleader. The following was the S.P's. opinion:— ' • . •■••.- - ■ " Under section 408-5213, the Thorough must obtain kouters on security of Special Plate (silver cradles not included). , *If any surplus of ordinary plate at end of year, Thorough may use it as, special plate. Section 652*497 does not permit the Lormair to be pledged as Imprest and Drinking Fund for first year." I. > ■ •

As .this advice was not generally understood by the meeting,, there were no remarks made, bat on the face of it ike kouters seemed to be very far off indeed. The Languoroa Snort thus 'describes the rest of the meeting:— '' '■ ' •

Sc. o'Dryly the,rx addressed the citizens. He said: Jintlemin, oi'm sthandin , here to advocate (begorra, that's a good word) me proposal to borrow 3,000,000 kouters to be expindid in improvements, d'ye moind, all over the town. (Applause.) As all ay yez are aware, for the last eighteen months nor more, sorra a kouter, nor Vven- a " tanner " nor a " bfill," have the Thorough had to spind on the sthreets or bridges. Well its puEzlin , me brains (what there is ay 'em) oi was, hqw the blazes we get along at all at all, whin \van evenin , oi was alone sinokih' my dhudhee? be the foire, thinkin' the matther ove* vrid meself, and bothered out intirp.b: w fell aslape and dhramed we'd Borrowed .three million kouters, to V 6 spint on-the sthreets and

bridges, and that it was foine times~we J were all bavin', wid clane boots, j\nd. a \chape. wash In the say bekase- ay our new, public baths. • Whin oi woke, oi remimbered it all, and just writ down the list ay imprbdvemerits we'd have, for oi'd made up me moind to troi .and borrow the kouters, more power to thira. Well, .the Thorough agreed to it, and now oi'll layit before yez/ First, there's the mains want attendin'to. It's shameful it is the. way thim" evergreens would be growin'. ail over the'main athreets. Sure its onlylast week that Miathrees Flynn got caught be the leg be wan ay thim, and thrown down and brack her nose, bo that her own childher wint into convulsions at the eight ay her. (Gnat sensation.) There's 6000 kouters put down for that. Thin there's 2000 more fora telescope for the Harbormaster. How can he be expicted to see the wind comim' wid only the naked oi. (Hear, bear.) Noneavyez would like to walk through the wather in the strames that leander (or some word like it) through the' town. (Cries of "Bravo," "Beautiful sentiment," &c.) It's meselfs provided aginst that same be puttin' down 20,000 each for four tubular suspension bridges ever the ditches oi'm spakin , ay. Thim's not bridges at all that ye've got now, and they're as rotten as a last year's spud. {Applause.) There's another work, too, oi propose spindin' a million kouters on, that's public baths. We're not quite bo clane down here as we moight be ourselves. ■ (General disapprobation.) Oh 1 begorra, that's a fact now, and we ought'nt to suppose that thim as visits the place ■would'nt loike a splash in the cowld wather, where they could get it onbeknownst to ivery oi. Sure dacent people can't be bathin' now wid out a lot ay spalpenes lookin , oh at 'em. The rest ay tne money is to be expanded on the other roads, &c, and we expict to pay it off in fifty centuries from date. Any. further particulars oi mintioned before, yez all ay yez heard, so oi'll say no mors, at prisinfc. Oi propose to call for "lenders" be way ay raisin' the kouters, the lowest lender to be necessarily accipted;. (Tumultuous applause.^. • i Mr Count asked on what security it was proposed to raise the kouters. Sc. O'Dryly: On the .ordinary plate. Mr Count said as far as he understood the Special Pleader's advice, that was illegal. Sc. O'Dryly quoted an instance where at had been done elsewhere. Mr Count said he had, with the assistance of a wet towel round his head and a P.B. and sioda, gone through the " Tact" '{or Government Ordinance), and agreed ■with the S.P.

Sc. G'Dryly didn't care a —button, he believed in it.

Mr Shakestick said, after the moderate charge he had made for the late dinner to Sir Gorgo Neutral-Tint, no one would doubt his ideas on finance. He would show them they could do all the works mentioned by Sc. O'Dryly without borrowing, and much more cheaply. By estimates he had drawn up, they would have 4000 kouters to the good for public works. Sc. Spittings wanted to know how he made it out.

~ Mr Shakestick would prove it from Sc. •G'Dryly'e .estimates. If the meeting would kWflJ|gJfi& of ■•' No, »©,'> " Dry 4j>,"&c.). . ~Mr Sharwood asked, if the kouters were borrowed, could they buy anything they liked with them.

Sc. O'Dryly replied—Nα Sc. Bedlaiflton read the Thorough Circumstantial Statement, bearing out Mr ■Shakestick's opinion. Sc'. Stitch observed that the Statement •was of no value, as the Thorough hadn't had a row over it. It was impossible to be 1000 kouters to the good. There was a large overdrain at the Tank at present — it was useless to deceive the citizens.

Mr Sharwood would like to hear Sc. Bedlamton's figures substantiated. Mr O'Tryon requested Mr Story to give a short discourse.

Mr Story, in response, stated his willingness to give his ideas in an eccentric form. He was in favor of improvements which included bricks and mortar; such works were remunerative. Hβ liked borrowing money, but not in the way suggested by Mr O'Dryly. Hie experience of borrowing money was that he always paid double the amount he borrowed. If they did borrow let it be on works of remuneration, such as declamation. He was exposed to think that bulbular dispension bridges, were net wanted—they would be far better if made of brick. Then he would say—declaim the beach; thus the ■ends would be joined, and would forever iiold their tongues. What was thus joined let no man put. asunder. (Cheers and laughter.)

Mr Sharwood still required some other information as to the correctness of Sc. Bedlamton's statement.

Sc. Spillings explained that he assisted* to draw up the Circumstantial Statement ■as read, but it was only to throw dust in the eyes of the citizens. He was a poor, innocent, ample-minded man, and they had taken him in. Unwittingly he "had assisted in one of the most gigantic circumstantial swindles that was ever perpetrated. With' their permission, he would explain his feelings in harmony. (Cries of "2*o, no.") ■ Mr S. .Spotkins asked if" he 'understood Sc. Spillings to say that the Circumstantial Committee had boiled down these accounts. ■

Sc. Spillings felt grieved to the very soul,-but it was so. (Tremendous sensation.). , ■ •, ._••

The noise woke up the majority of the meeting, who commenced throwing things about in a playful way, and so gradually the room was cleared.

Thus the question of the Great Loan, as it was called, went to "a poll on a certain date, and was ; there' lost by a majority of seven votes, but the remembrance of it will live for ever.