THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 2, Issue 200, 18 June 1878, Page 2

THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

" They do say-"

" Gossip and Gossipers."

In the highways and byeways, from Shark Alley to William Street, wherever men most do congregate, rumor, that many tongued hydra, is busy with complaints as to the exorbitant figures which arbitrators have latterly been allowing for land that is required by the Akaroa and Wainui Road Board for road diversion purposes. Statements are made that prices have been decided upon out of all proportion to the marketable value of landed property, and that the funds of the Road Board are being heavily dipped into for tho payment of extravagant awards made for compensations. Is there, I wonder, any ground for these accusations, or are they merely the productions of the fertile imaginations of envious cockatoos whom the Road Board declineth to compensate? Will some member of the Board, or other competent person, answer this query, and not only enlighten the ratepayers, but also give the quietus to "they do say." In connection with this subject of compensations, I wish to have a little say, and give the opinions of such a unit as this sundowning vagrant undoubtedly is. I think all these matters should be " fair, square, and above board"—not settled without being chronicled otherwise than in thebooks kept by the Board. Asa means to that end, I think that when the Board requires a piece of land they should state it by advertisement, as also the name of their arbitrator; describe the land, with all its bearings, fuily ; state what it is required for ; fix a date for holding the arbitration meeting ; and, when the award is made, publish full particulars of the same, together with the amount agreed upon to be paid. This is merely a rough idea of my own. The system at present in vogue is bad, decidedly bad, and gives room for any amo.unt of cavilling' and " they do say," beside, by doing something such as I suggest, members of the Road Board would not be open to have imputations cast upon them such as I hear slung around so offensively—

" Where evil may be done, 'tis right

To ponder ; where only, suffer'd, know The shortest pause is much too long."

" Has sorrow thy young days shaded ?" .Hasit? Hasn't it, just! A ton or two, more or less, of printer's ink ha 3 shaded the sorrows of my "young life " into something of a "cimmerian blackness," and the non-acceptance of the loan proposal, out -of ••which I expected to make a " Brummagem " coin, or a few " colonial flimsies," together .with an abortive scheme of working the half-crown borrowing dodge on my own account, has added another touch of color to the shading. This is not all, however, another shade came" o'er the spirit of my dream" when I read in the Lyttelton Times the following notification :—-"Canterbury Jockey Club.—Owners are reminded that their training fees for the season 1878-79 are now due. These are obtainable at the office of the C.J.C., Radcliffe'sHotel." "Theseare obtainable," but not for me. This is the exact spot where the shade comes in ; I own absolutely nothing except. the wreck of what was once an indifferent character. My " swag " is gone, " the Marquis " has it on account of an account for unliquidated refreshments; my billy is gone, owing to the breadth of the road, the pair of us capsized, and there we lay doubled up, the billy much so ; my pipe' is extinguished, the "glim" is " doused," for when the billy and myself prostratod the pipe joined the atomic, fragments of shingle, whose indentations upon my facial development produced a beautiful crop of what experts call the "gravel rash. I tried to raise "an own" from Garwood and Co., but my old employer ruthlessly remarked—" Clear, Jack, you are offensive to both sight and smell." Says " the Marquis " — " Jack, there is a silver lining to the darkest cloud." "No ! Nary!" was my despondent rejoinder, " I'll pass the silver lining and go alone on the darkest cloud." Byron knew my complaint, I am certain, or he would not have wrote —

" My days, though few, have pass'd below In much of joy, though more of woe ; Yet still, in hours of love or strife, I've'scaped the weariness of life." " Which I wish to remark "—" Bully for you," Messieurs French Farm, Okut Q Valley, and Co., may your pockets el on . gate, and your consciences gain elasticity Which is not exactly what I wished to remark, but, having remarked, leave it so. What I wish to commend you for, gentlemen, is for your public spirit and wide awake-edness, as well as for your disinterestedness m the matter of the railway route—of course none of you are " lords of territory " in the districts you represent. Why should Barry's Bay and tbe Little i River Valleyites take all the meat and leave you, poor sufferers, the dry bones ? What does a paltry C.E. know aa to the best, cheapest, shortest, and most advantageous line of country to take the contemplated line of rail through? Illiterate, dear boys, what does he know; besides, you know, these "kind of cattle" are to-be got at. "We are the boys " that understand how the "ym rub my back and I'll scratch yortrs" fake is • worked ; believe me, we can see the interested motives and oracle-working business, when such things are not dreamt of, as quick as here and there one. Banter 'and satireoh • one side -r however—l am glad to see that some parties interested in the line of the coming railway are bestirring themselves to have their say thereupon. . It is the manly and correct thing to " hit. right out from the shoulder,'' in pubKc meeting assembled, instead, of following the too prevalent custom of going' about and' endeavoring by underhand v arid - mean jnuendos. and* insinuations to cast slurs upon,, not. only a scheme which is a vital and paramount necessity for the ; County, but-also unworthily misrepresenting and distorting the actions of thbse who are gratuitously working for the common weal in furthering the preliminaries, and initiating todnecessary, formula toward—-what I hope soon to see—the commencement of the Akaroa railway. Vive everybody, and me too! "Well—well, the world must turn upon its axis, And all mankind torn with it, heads or tails, And live and die, make love and pay our taxes, And as the veering wind shifts, shift our sails." . It is but seldom that I " dig down" into the well of compliments, but there aro times when even a cynical vagrant Bueh as I am may, and can, do so with a good grace. I don't believe in." piling on " the complimentary soft soap, but when on© observes the members of a public body endeavouring to amend the doing of that which they " ought not to have [done" and tiying to do that which they "ought to have done" lone: long ago, then is it an act of graceful courtesy to commend them for their return to those paths of rectitude, good feeling, and better doing, from whenco they should never have strayed. Thinking this, as regards the members of the Akaroa Borough Council, I wave my black pine branch as a token of amity, peace, and good will. But, I say, "be the sow! ay me fut," and that's a tolerably broad understanding, isn't it a" most awfully lame and impotent way of settling matters, to turn round upon that much maligned and inoffensive snorter, the Akaroa Snail, and blame it for all the evil done in the past, and for all the cruelly wicked utterances and silly doings of councillors ? Now, in the name of common sense, without any nonsense, isn't it? When a Councillor acts thus, doesn't it look awfully like taking a leaf out of the lawyer's book of advice--" No case, abuse the opposite side ? Say, boys —I mean, gentlemen ! that is, Councillors! just flop right into business, bury the dead ashes of disgraceful personalities, let's have no more ripping open v£ old sores; and, " your Worship," set them the example by treating them to plenty of civic civilities, and by judicious endeavors to soften down the asperities too often brought about by partizan zeal. lam " dead on " for a loanj " d'ye mind me now, boys," and we must educate the majority into thinking and. voting with us. " Sorra a vote have I." Now for "a, little song " from Spencer:— . ~

"After long storms and tempests overblowne, The sunne at length his joyeus face doth cleare: So when as fortune all her spight hath

showne, Some blissful hours at last must needes

appeare; Else should' afflicted wights ofttimes despeire."

Good Bye.