THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 2, Issue 191, 17 May 1878, Page 2

THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

" Come Arouse ye, Arouse ye."

"Ode to Sluggards."

'"There's hick in odd numbers, says Rory O'More," " which I tink so neither." Anyhow, I am going to try the "luck in odd number" recipe on the members of tbe Akaroa and Wainui Road Board. On two previous occasions I have " pieball'd paper" in an endeavor to arouse the •' Piper's band " to the necessity of settling that matter of the Robinson's Bay road diversion, from the Horseshoe Bend to a gradient which will not imperil the lives and limbs of Her Majesty's lieges. Both my previous remonstrances have been "abortive cusses;" if this one fares no better, I shall not cry peccavi, but will sling in and peg away until, I trust in the long run, I shall shame the Board into doing,this more than necessary work. I have been told that the cause of delay is the unreasonable of a landowner, but I cannot think it can be so. I rather fancy that landowner has not been properly interviewed, or the matter explained to him in a '* fair and square, upright and downstraight" manner, for my informant states that that " owner of acres" is a reasonable man to deal with, who only requires courteous treatment and just compensation for what is required from him, which, " much certainly " —eh, Councillor Srnackyeree—he should receive. But, even supposing that Brightacres is contumacious, hasn't the Board certain powers delegated to it by law, which law was framed especially to meet cases of this nature ? Did they not " start the machinery " by means of an advertisement, " and then let it run down ? " Of course they did, " and what for noo." My dear bandsmen, take the sundowner's tip, which is— " The wise and active conquer difficulties, By daring to attempt them ; sloth and folly Shiver and shrink at sight of toil and hazard, * And make the impossibility they fear." " Truth is stranger than A couple of happy instances of the v«SrHrity of the foregoing old proverb came within my personal ken on board the Wan_ka. To date back a bit—Captain Wheeler, of the Hawea —a real old salt, with the true briny flavor—relates an anecdote of an occurrence which happened on his ship when once leaving Akaroa, which anecdote has gone the rounds of the N.. Z*. Press, and has, in the opinion q£ manyf added the name of Captain Wheeler to that of other romancers. As Captain W.'a anecdote is so well known, it is useless for me to repeat it. So now to tell you what I saw :—I was a passenger per Wanaka from Lyttelton, arid} - for the rm.poses of this yarn, I must . _fplain that that ship, like the Hawea,"has two wheels—one on the bridge arid on c; aftt—bo thst she'can be steered from either. Ori this occasion the ship was steered from the bridge. '■' We had rather a rough passage. down, and everyone seemed to have been suffef-iig, more or le_s, from that agonizing malady, sea-sickness, which, perhaps., may account for the disused wheel at the stern not having been noticed earlier. The ship had just turned, making for the Heads, when an Israelitish gentleman near, tne said— "Holy Moses, Mister, we are going ashore !" ■'I hope so," I said, "when we j. get to Akaroa." " But," he yelled, " can't you see, there's no cine at the wheel, and—> oh dear, my jewellery samples." I pitied him and explained, so smoothed that matter down. As We came into the jetty, a youhg gentleman eoierged from tbe cabin, and hearing Captain M'Gillivray call out " port," he looked aft; an horrified expression came over his countenance; he groaned out—"Lord help us, here's a ship. Turning to me, he said—" I saj*, which is port ? Don't you hear the Captain? We are all going to smash, for, curse me, if they havn't left the wheel." I smiled, and looked at the bridge ; the. young gentleman looked and—cleared, " 'Tis strange, but true, for truth is always strange, Stranger than .fiction; if it could be told, How much would novels gain by the exchange ! ; How .differently the world would men behold!" : "There's nothing new under the Butt.* I an> ■' full up to the combings " with these " old saws and musty aphorisms." I cannot help it; I am afraid they do not always dovetail in properly*, but what can you espect from dairy -tea. piggy wiggieß but a. grunt, which may account for me and th* "Growling Grumbling Society." I am. very much afraid that what I am about to relate may not be, new; that a similar remark may have been made by others elsewhere; and that the same " play upon words " is far from original; anyway, the jocularity was, to me, new bom, so, thinking.itrtpojgood to be lost, I, at the risk of tellibg an old story, chronicle this one:—A scrawl from a valued acquaintance brought me the pleasure of an introduction to a gentleman visiting this colony temporarily. "Show him round Akaroa, Jack, and don't draw upon your imagination too much for your, facts. '. I would 'like \ him to return to England and be able to give something like a truthful account of the colony and and colonists;' so do,' just for once, confine .yourself strictly to realities, without romance." Thus wrote my friend, and thus he estimated me and my powers of " putting side on." We started to do, and, I flatter myself, we did, "the lions" of Akaroa. Forgetful of the caution written to me, I enlightened that stranger in a strange land, and father staggered royee--

with the. strength .of some of my statements. We liquored together, and, as we left the hotel, my companion remarked— "By-the-bye, whose house is this?" I* Adsms'," I replied. A twinkle appeared in that youthful eye as he coolly remarked —"It may be Adam's to tbe roof, but there it must be eaves (Eve's), d'ye twig? " I dwindled, and told no more —well, cuffers, to that knowing card. I thought of Shakspeare's advice — " Have more than thou showest, Speak less than thou knowest, Lend less than thou owest, Learn more than thou trowest, Set less than thou throwest." I have been waiting, hoping, and expecting to see a screed from Inspector Noonan, or a communication from Brother Captain Morey, relative to the " hook and ladder" company being left out in the cold, in fact, being treated as a nonentity, in the scheme of disbursement of proposed loan as shadowed forth by Councillor O'Reilly. I have expressed my belief in, and approval of, the borrowing arrangement, but, failing the subject being taken up by the proper officials, must express my surprise that no one seems to have given a thought to the possibilities and probabilities of a conflagration happening at some time within the borough, and the necessity of doing what lies within our means toward preventing the spread of what has been rightly termed the " devouring. element." We all know the truth of the old adage which refers to the locking oi! the stable door aftei the steed is stolen; let us, then, do what we can to prevent such a consummation. "An you love me," and I think you do, Brother Morey, make another move,ir. this matter; let your fellow-townsmen hear your melodious voice in public meeting assembled ; give them some of your practical ideas on this subject; don't let apathetic indolence fret the better of you; wake up "all hands" with your spirit-stirring strains of sound common sense ; fetch the Inspector out of his paint pots, and, if you doall these things as these things should be done, why, my Dear Brother, I'll shout—for myself with pleasure.. Doubt me not, my venerable. Brother, I'll do it "like a bird." Remember, Brother, and—

" Falter not, no matter whether There is sunshine, storm, or calm, And in every kind of weather Hold your head up like a man."

So Long.