STRATAGEM FOR A DINNER.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 2, Issue 176, 26 March 1878, Page 3

STRATAGEM FOR A DINNER.

The following , characteristic anecdote of Theodore Hook is given in Barham's ]ife of that extraordinary man. One of the streets near Solio Square, either Dean Street or Frith Street, was the scene of action. Hook was lounging up one of those streets in company with Terry, the actor, when they saw through the, kitchen window preparations for a handsome dinner.

" What a feast!" said Terry. "Jolly dogs ! I should like to make one of them."

" I'll take any bet," returned Hook, " that I do; call for me here at ten o'clock, and you'll find thot 1 shall be able to give a tolerable account of the worthy gentleman's champagne and venison."

So saying, he marched up the steps, gave an authoritative rap with the burnished knocker, and was quickly lost to the sight of his astonished companion. As a matter of course he was immediately ushered by a servant, as an unexpected guest, into the drawing-room, where a large party had already assembled. The apartment, being well nigh full, no notice was at first taken of his intrusion, and half-a-dozen people were laughing at his bon mots before the host discovered the mistake. Affecting not to observe the visible embarrassment of the latter, and ingeniously avoiding the opportunity for explanation, Hook rattled on till he had attracted the greater part of the company in a circle near him, and some considerable time elapsed ere the old gentleman was able to catch the attention of the agreeable stranger.

" I beg your pardon," he said, contriving at last to get in a word ; but your name, sir, —I did not quite catch it,—servants are so abominably incorrect, and I am really a little at loss " Don't apologise, I beg," graciously replied Theodore. " Smith—my name is Smith—and, as you justly observe, servants are always making some stupid blunder or . another. I remember a remarkable instance, &c." " But really, my dear sir," continued the host at the termination of the story illustrative of stupidity in servants, " I think the mistake on the present occasion does not originate in the source you allude to ; I certainly did not expect the pleasure of Mr Smith's company at dinner to-day." " No, I dare say not; you said Jour in your note I know, and it is now, I see, a quarter past five—you are a little fast, by the way : but the fact is, I have been detained in the City, and I was about to explain when " " Pray," exclaimed the other as soon as he could stay the volubility of his guest, "whom, may I ask, do you suppose you are addressing ?" " Whom ? Why, Mr. Thompson of course—old friend of my father ; I have not the pleasure, indeed, of being personally known to you, but, having received your kind invitation on my arrival from Liverpool—Frith Street, four o'clock, family party—come in boots—you see I have taken you at your word. I am only afraid I have kept you waiting." " No, no, not at all. But permit me to observe, my dear sir, my name is not exactly Thompson, —it is Jones, and " Jones !" repeated the self-styled Smith, in admirably assumed consternation ; " Jones ! Why surely I cannot have—yes, I must—good heaven ! I see it all. My dear sir, what an unfortunate blunder —wrong house—what must you think of such an intrusion ? I am .really at a loss for words in which to apologize. You will permit me to retire at present, and to-morrow " " Pray don't think of retiring," exclaimed the hospitable old gentleman ;

"your friend's table must have been cleared long ago, if, as you say, fomfwas the hour named ; and I am , only too happy to be able to offer yon a seat a*, mine." Hook, of course, con 1 '! not thinkof any such thing,—could not ihink of trespassing upon the kindnes? of a perfect stranger: if too late f r Thompson, there were plenty of chop-houses nt. hand. The unfortunate pnrt <>f the business was, he had made i-.ii appointment with a gentleman tocaU'ibr him at ten o'clock. The good-natured Jones, however, refused to allow so entertaining a visitor to withdraw dinnerless ; Mrs Jones joined in the solicitation; the Misses Jones smiled bewitchingly ; and at last Mr Smith who soon recovered from his confusion, was prevailed upon to offer his arm to one of the ladies, and take his place at the well-furnished board. In all probability the family of Jones never passed such an evening before. Hook naturally exerted himself to the utmost to keep the party in an unceasing roar of laughter, and make good the first impression. The mirth grew fast and furious, when by way of a coup tie grace, lie seated himself at the pianoforte, and struck off into one of those extemporaneous effusions which had filled more critical judges than the Jones's with delight and astonishment. Ten o'clock struck, and, on Mr Terry being announced, his triumphant friend wound up the performance with the explanatory stanza— I am very much pleased with your fare, Your cellar's as prime as your cook ; My friends's Mr Terry, the player, And I'm Mr Tneodore Hook.