SCISSORS.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 2, Issue 169, 1 March 1878, Page 3

SCISSORS.

Few of our readers, we dare say, have any idea of the wealth of the railway property in the United Kingdom. Perhaps they may faintly realise the amount on being told that according to a recently published statement, the nominal capital of all the railways of the United Kingdom at the end of last year was no less than six hundred and fifty eight million sterling, being at the rate of £39,000 per mile of railway opened. Altogether at the present time, we have 17,000 miles of railway, although it is only fair to add that upwards of thirty eight millions of capital returns no dividend while fifty four millions give less than five per cent.

In a public-house not far from Choppington, a conversation was carried on among a number of miners, one of whom, a noted talker, became more than ever noisy, when one of his companions betted him glasses round that he could not hold his tongue for a period of five minutes. The bet was eagerly taken up by the loquacious one, who cautioned the company to he quiet and let him h ye fair play. ' Time was taken, his mouth was shut, he was watching the minute hand of the clock with keen intensity until four minutes were over, when he dashed his fist upon the table and shouted out, " Dash, lads, another minnit an' aall win."— Newcastle Chronicle.

Field Marshal Moltkc, who knows Asia Minor from personal experience, is reported to have said recently that the Russian couquest of Armenia would be a very serious affair for England. With Armenia, Russia advances to the Euphrates, and once she possesses the Euphrates the way to India would for the greater part be already closed to England. The Qneen has presented to the town of Heywood, Lancashire, twenty acres of land for the purposes of a public park. Tbe money has been sot apart, by the Queen out of a sum exceeding £10,000 which fell to her as Duchess of Lancaster, through the death, without heirs, of Mr C. M. Newhouse, of Heywood. A countryman evidently near-sighted and in pursuit of knowledge under difficulties, was walking up the, Bowery one night when he stopped before a well-dressed man standing under an awning. The following conversation ensued :—" My friend, kin yer tell me haow far up the Union Square is ?" There was no reply, and two boot-blacks who were trying to beat each other on a jack-knife trade came up to listen. " Say, mister," said the countryman, " why in thunder don't yer tell a fallar ?" No answer. The boot-blacks were reinforced by an Irishman, two yellow dogs, a fat Dutch woman carrying a market basket, and a man with a wart on his nose. " Stranger," said Rusticus, " It 'pears to mc yer air ruther stuck-up even if yer have good clothes on. Just like city folks. Oh yer fraud. For tew

mighty small pins I'd lick yer. Say have yer lost yew're tongue ?"■ And the stranger struck out straight from the shoulder, knocking the man down, while the hoot-blacks, the Irishman, the Dutch woman with a basket, and the wartface! man onr.A with 1: ughi-r. Then the . lothing-stuiv man came out, picked up the fiffU'-e, and threatened to call the puiir;'..— J) iubunj News.