THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 2, Issue 169, 1 March 1878, Page 2

THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

o " Do To-morrow what inquires doixc To-day."

'•LisUessness" : An Idyll.

" 'Tis a motto for every man" in the Duvauchelle Bay Educational District. Twice have meetings of householders been convened, by the Board of Education, for the purpose of electing a School Committee to act during the current year, and twice have there been too few in attendance to make a meeting. If this is not dreaming the happy hours away" apathetically. I do not know what else it can he. It really seems to me to be a disgrace, on those resident in Duvauchelle's Bay to think that they alone of all "he districts on Banks Peninsula are so listless, so careless, so neglectful, so behind the spirit of the age, as not to be able to form a meeting or get enough people together to interest themselves upon what is, next, to religion, tbe most vital thing affecting theirown and their children's future. Is there none among you who know the want of education, and the losses, both monetary aud socially, you suffer thereby ? Do you wish to perpetuate, in your families, the ignorant blindness which has, apparently, settled upon yourselves? I, although only a sundowner, cry shame on you. The Government have vested a power in you for the advancement of education, and the moral and intellectual advantage of the young among you, aud yet you aro too lazily indifferent to use it, or care for the consequences and disgrace which your neglect may entail on the usefulness of the school. You can fill Barlow's circus tent fast enough, but, of course, education counts as nothing compared with a dog ami monkey exhibition. Read what that heathen sage, Socrates, said:—

"He that makes his son worthy of esteem, by givinjr him a liberal education, has a far better title to his obedience and duty than he who gives a large estate without it."

In my time I have seen some wonderful exhibitions of " second sight; " I have, in my own person, experienced many strange manifestations of double sight ; I know that very often, as regards myself, my friends are troubled with that kind of want of sight which is beautifully described as " none are so blind aa those that don't want to see ;" times and oft have I met

with instances of near sight, far sight, ! over-the-fence sight, and round-the-corner sight; but never, till recently, did I come across a case of aberration of sight such as lam about to describe. I really forget if I was there ; yet, on second thoughts, I must have been ; well, the truth must be told, I was there, and this is what occurred : —Some of tbe boys, with myself, were at the original water-mill a few evenings since, doing a little in the "glorious Apollo, from on high behold us" kind of harmonics, occasionally varying our glees with a "round.". The spirited proprietor was •' up to his oats, and a bean or two over," when someone came in and stuc l—" I say, old man, there's a bloke outside rather obstreperous !" " All right," says Screech, " I'll fix him." Out he goes, and I followed to see the .sport. S. took a diagonal kind of march up to a post, and thus addressed it—hie —" What are you doing here ? " No response of course. '• If you don't —hie—clear, I'll put a polish— hie —on you ! What, you won't—hie— eh?" and then, partly, off came his coat, and a series of the wildest and most astounding gyrations commenced around that luckless post, varied with occasional lurches to all and every point of the compass, and frantic blows aimed skyward, earthward, and into space—everywhere, in fact, except at the post. Suddenly a new idea fixed S. ; he brought himself up, glared at the post, got- on his coat, and sa id—" Ah, I—hie —know you ; you want to—hie—knife me." After this supposed discovery, it was wonderful how soon that warrior cleared. Me and the boys went back to our musical studies, and this was our last chorus :—

'• We all loved Johnny Screech, But he's glided from our reach, And yanked himself across Bruce's river ; Perhaps he's better off, For he had an awful cough, And a species of congestion of the liver." Some of my anonymous correspondents must have peculiar ideas respecting myself and my powers of obtaining information and conveying the same. The}' must, and do think mo, judging from the tone of their communications, the Canterbury force of " Robert Crusher's," with Ram, Lamb, Sam, and M'Gobbleham thrown in as light weights, as they seem to think that, " from information receivsd," I must be posted up in all the sayings, doings, thoughts, ingoings, outcomings, backslidings, scandals, villifyings, backbitings, and rows which occur within the districts where the Akaroa Mail is mostly circulated. Now one of these correspondents, signing hiuiself C. H., has just fairly puzzled me. He writes to me to know if " Old Caton's r m Fiver has been entered for the Little River races, and also wishes for information as to whether his (Old Caton's) training ground and private racecourse is free from stones and afirst-class convincing ground?" How can I answer such queries ? I don't know " Old Caton" or his R. M., which may mean road metal, rum and milk, Resident Magistrate, run a muck, or roan mare for all that I know io the contrary, and as to his " fiver," I would prefer possession of that to the company of " Old Caton" any day. I am worried. Do tell me, some one, is there an " Old Caton ? " If so, has he a run-a-muck "fiver?." Does he run a private course, on which he sweats the « fiver "—the R. M. I should say ? Say, Venus, do you know anything about "Old Caton," " or any other man ? " " Not in the Grecian Isles, Not where the bright flowers of Illyssus

shine, E'er moved a breathing form whose beauty's wiles Could match with thine."— Caton.

It is surprising how many guileless' innocent, unpretending, sweet children of nature crosses one's track during our weary pilgrimage through this '■• wale of tears." The dear, unsophisticated creatures l> turn up," unlike Mr Micawber's expectations, without being waited for. I find a more than ordinary number of these trusting-ail kind of people in the ranks of those who, like Slip Panel, have dealings among the li mild eyed kye," aud that other absent-minded, profound thinking class who find " a bit o' band, lad, \vi' a horse at fend o't." Mine ancient, and perpetually thirsty crony, Grass Paddock, is one of the former class ; he is, when the qualities or the value of a beast is in question, an innocent of innocents —the very greenest of the " verdant green " family ; he apparently knows less than nothing, and thinks a great deal less than that; a stranger to him would suppose that a child could have him at such times, but—appearances are very often deceiving. On one of (lie hottest days of the past month, Grass Paddock, overcome with heat and somnolency, beside having damped his coppers cansiderably, was, as it seemed, fast asleep in the bar of his favorite pub., when in marched a brother, cattleist, who said to the landlord—" Threewires will be here in a minute with a mob which he has been mustering from the bush, at the back of his place, and ho is going to put them in Bridge's hands for sale." Threewires, I may observe, is a neighbour of Grass Paddock's. No sooner was this information given than up jumped G. P., who remarked—"l put some calves on that bush land ten years ago, and I expect old T. has popped them into the mob as his own ;I am off to claim my property." It will be scarcely credited, but he did go, and claimed some yearlings as those he had turned out ten years before, and was as tonished at Threewires' dishonesty at sticking to them and disbelieving him. After that— " Oh, green's forsaken. And yellow's forsworn, And (due's the sweetest Colour that's worn ! " So Long.