SCISSORS.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 2, Issue 159, 25 January 1878, Page 3

SCISSORS.

In Belgium and Holland linen is prepared beautifully, because the washerwomen use refined borax, instead of soda, as a washing powder. •- One large handful of borax is used in every tengallons of water, and the saving of soap •is said to be one-half. For laces and cambric an extra quantity is used, Borax does not injure the linen, and it softens the hardest water. A teaspoonful of borax added to an ordinary sized kettle of hard water, in which it is allowed to boil, will effectually soften the water. : .Rev. Alexander Webster of Edinburgh- says it would be much better to ' dance than to ' engage in Presbytery quarrels,, -■'» '■-'..'

When a small, boy with & prejudice against a dog observes an old oyster can in a condition of inactivity, he at once begins debating whether it. was created to point a moral or adorn a tail. The dog gets the first news of the decision.

We have waited some time, says the Banbury News, for President Hayes to toll this story himself:—When about five years of age, his father thought it best to correct him for being disobedient. He bore his punishment in silence, but was soon after heard to remark, as he went around behind the woodshed, " Darned if I don't believe it would be best for the peace of this family if 1 had a stepfather."

Street scene:—He: -'Did you ever see, Mary, a giraffe scratch its ear with its. hind leg ?" She : " No George, I never did." He : "did you ever give your dress a kick with your foot, catch it with your hand, and then hold it from the dust?" She : " Yes, dear, I have." He : " Well, then——." She : " Oh, you horrid creature!"

A German preacher, speaking of the repentant girl, said—" She knejtin the temple of her interior and prayed' fervently," a feat no indiaubber doll could imitate. The German parliamentary oratory of the present day affords many examples of metaphor mixture ; but two must suffice. Count Frankenberg is the author of them. A few years ago he pointed out to his countrymen the necessity of "seizing the stream of time by the forelock" ; and in the last session he told the Minister of War that if he really thought the French were seriously attached to peace, he had better resign office and " return to his paternal oxen."

" How to tell a lady " is described in a fashion exchange. But, pshaw ! they they can't tell people anything on the subject. Just take hold of her hand, slip your arm around her waist and tell her in a whisper. That's the correct way, " Simplicity " is-the sweet title of an association*' of dadies, just formed at Leipsic. afis object is to promote simplicity in .dcess, and. to make war upon luxury,,; Members must pledge themselves n'ofr to wear trains, or false hair, or other frivolities. The dresses must be plain, with only a simple embroidery or trimming at the end of the costume. The Queen of the Sandwich Islands has aii idea of woman's rights. She has been making a tour through a portion of her dominions, making addresses to the people, advising them to be industrious .and economical, and to be careful to preserve their lands for themselves and their children. The Dowager Queen Emma joins her in the movement. A female medical student with the Russian army is thus described:—The gentlemen with her weie surgeons on theirjWay to join some ambulaiice. The 4ady wore herhai-rshort and parted on one ' side ; spectacles with gold rims, a black tunic, belted in round the waist, and a short black skirt. She smoked cigars and seemed hail fellow Avell met, with all her companions. A London journal cautions its lady readers when dressed in velvet against sitting down in cane-bottomed chairs. This, however, is a repetition of Fanny Kemble, who, when she found such a chair provided for her at one of her readings in the West, turned upon the leading committeeman a withering glance and exclaimed:—"Man! do you wish me to give my best velvet gown the smallpox ?" " Wanted," exclaims the Literary World, "an English word to take the place and do the work of the French word litterateure. Neither • literary man ' nor ' man of letters ' —phrases which in a measure, express the meaning of the French term—answer the purpose." Walt Whitman has invented, or is said to have invented, the word "literat." Alexander Dumas lately remarked that the reason rich people are not happy is because they do not sufficiently devote their wealth to making others happy. True. The quality of riches is like that of mercj : " It blesseth him that gives and him that takes." The last session of Parliament was the first for forty years in which Mr Disraeli has not been a prominent figure. His voluntary exile to the House of Lords has deprived the Commons of a most active member, whatever may be thought of his usefulness. Joseph J. Brown of Chester, N. H., although 85 years old, does all the work on his farm of thirty acres, and does it up Brown. Miss Thompson, the English artist, made famous by her paintings of Crimean war scenes, has gone to Adrianople to study army scenes. Count Yon Arnim still lives. He is now in Switzerland and will soon proceed tv Carlsbad. But he takes good care to keep out of Bismarck's reach. X., walking with a clever doctor, meets a pretty woman, to whom the doctor bows. " Who is she, eh ?" " A patient." "Her bow was almost a cut —fifty below," -'Possibly. We're not on the best of terms. You see I was called in to attend her husband, and had the misfortune—" " Ob, I see to j let him die." " No, to let him get well."

A bright scion of the aristocracy arrived at the Foreign Office some time ago with a note of introduction from his noble father to the following effect: — •' The bearer is my eldest son, who will, I am convinced, be an ornament to the Diplomatic Service. He has the greatest talent for lying of any member of our family, which, knowing us as well as you do, your lordship will fully appreciate." I regret that I cannot say whether the candidate was successful or not.— Vanity Fair.

Mr Tennyson makes a curious confession in a letter written to a friend. He says that from boyhood upwards ho has frequently been in a waking trance. " This," he adds, ■' has oi'toh (••une upon me through repeating my own name lo myself silently, till all at one, as it were, out of the intensity of the consciousness of individuality, the individuality itself seemed to dissolve anil fade away into boundless being ; and this not a- confused state, but the clearest of the clearest, the surest of the surest utterly beyond words — whose death was an almost laughable impossibility—the loss of personality (if so it were) seeming no extinction, but only true life. I am ashamed of my feeble description. Have I not said the state is beyond words ? But in a moment, when I come back into my normal condition of sanity, I am ready to fight for ' Meine Liebo Ich ,' and hold that it will last for aeons of ceons.— Mai/fair.

Dickens said of the following anecdote : " Ypu, must know that I have appropriated that story and acquried immense reputation by it." It occurs in a paper of reminiscences in Scribner's Magazine entitled " A Yankee Tar and his Friends." On one of Captain Morgan's voyages from America to England he had under his care a very attractive young lady, who speedily distinguished herself by reducing five young gentleman to the verge of distraction. She was quite ready to marry one, but what could she do with five? In the embarrassment of her riches she sought the Captain, who, after a few moments thought, said : " It's a fine, calm day ; soppose by accident you should fall overboard ; I'll have a boat lowered ready to pick you up, and you can take the man who loves you well enough to jump after you. This novel proposition met the young lady's views and the programme was accordingly carried out, with the trifling exception that four of the young men took the plunge, and, being picked up by the boat, presented themselves a dripping quartet upon the ship's deck. The object of their undampened ardor, no less wet than themselves, fled to her stateroom and sent for her adviser, the Captain, " Now, Captain," cried she in despair, what am I to do ? '-' " Ah, my dear," replied the Captain," if you want a sensible husband take the dry one " —which she did.

The following conversation occurred in a West-end music establishment be tween a junior partner in the firm, a handsome young man, and a pretty girl who desired to purchase some music :— " Will you have the goodness to name some of the newest songs to me ?"— " Do you know ' Love's Longing V " — That I know."—' Have you bad ' The First Kiss ?' " —" Yes, I have already had that."—" Fly with me and be my Wife '" —" That would suit me very well." ' Daniel Webster once dhied with an old Boston merchant, and when they came to the wine a dusty old bottle was carefully decanted by John and passed to the host. Taking the bottle, he poured out Mr Webster's glass and handed it to him. Then pouring out another glass for himself, he held it to the light and said:—" How do you like it, Mr Webster ?" " I think it is a fine specimen of old port." " Now, can you guess what it cost me ?" said the host. " Surely not," said Mr Webster ; " I only know that it is excellent." " Well, now, I can tell you, for I made a careful estimate the other day. When I add the interest to the first price, I find that it cost me the sum of just one dollar and twenty cents per glass !" " Good gracious ! you don't say so," said Mr Webster ; and then draining his glass, he presented it again with the remark:—" Fill it up again as quick as you can, for I want to stop that confounded interest."

The Russian Empress is a good seamstress and could make Alexander a pair of pantaloons if he were to ask her for them.