THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 2, Issue 155, 11 January 1878, Page 2

THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

"The Child's the Father to the Man I' Media, val Records.

" Little things," 'tis said, " please little minds," and this being a truth that I cannot deny, I have to plead guilty to being burdened with.mental powers of the infinitesimal order. I am not " alone in my glory." lain delighted to find that parson, pastor, school committee men, church officials, pedagogues, the " unco quid," tlie world!)* wise, the saint and the sinner, and last, but by no means.least, the ladies—bless 'em — are with me in my affliction ; that is if I am to believe the many and varied reports which have appeared in the Mail's columns, chronicling the sayings, doings, gifts, and sports in connection with children's treats. Yes, Sir, these many kindnesses and largehearted thoughtfulness for the " little things" is what has pleased the "little mind" of this fossilized old sundowner. Don't tell me that, in these high pressure timps, people have too much to think of and do, in keeping themselves well up in the race of competition, to spare time for anything else but self-interest and personal aggrandisement ; oh, no, not a bit of it, the love of " little things " is as strong as ever it was, and "long may it wave." Bad will it be if ever siich a thing could happen, when

humanity forgetfully neglects the " little things" for the acquisition of ephem ejalities this wicked world. Cynic as am, satirist of as I may be, unwedded, lonely, vagrant, and disreputable, as is my condition, yet, even I cannot forget.the-days of my small boyhood, and live them over again when seeing the " little things " enjoying themselves at a breaking-up party. More power to " the people's William," H.H.R.! M.y bis rotundity increase! Mothers, think well of him for his thoughtful generosity to your " little children."' *' How oft, heart sick and sore, I've wished I were once more A little child!" It is but seldom one gets a heavy and. totally unexpected windfall of sponduiex —such things are uncommon, and the very few and far occurrences of this nature that takes place render them all the more noticeable. A gentleman,. whom I know by repute, but whose accpiaintance I have not, recently had a calamity of the windfall species happen to him, to the tune of some five hundred and odd colonial flimsies ; or, lather, to put it in a more understandable form, he received a cheque for five hundred and odd pounds shillings and pence, which he never expected to see. This welcome presentation was received at the end of the week, and the recipient went to church on the following Sunday, having the big cheque and a shilling in his pocket. The service went on as usual, our friend outwardly as devout as could be, until the time for the offertory to be collected arrived, when a fumbling of pockets was commenced ; his visage visibly lengthened, and the man who had so unexpectedly received so rich a plum, whispered to his neighbour—"l say, old man, lend me a sixpence, I have nothing but a shilling in my pocket, and I cannot afford to give them that much." Why say more ! Doesn't this kind of liberality speak for itself ? " Gold! gold ! gold ! gold! Bright and yellow, hard and cold, Hoarded, barter'd, bought and sold, Stolen, borrowed, squander'd, doled , Price of many a crime untold ; Gold ! gold! gold ! gold ! Good or bad, a thousand fold ! "

I, among and with hundreds more, went to the late show of stock, &c, at Duvauchelle's Bay, which was held under the auspices of the Peninsula Pastoral Association—that association which has been called to shame for doing a twenty per cent reduction in prizes that was never dreamt of. Now, Sir, I have a firm and unfailing belief in the thorough application of " a place for everything and everything in its place," but this fitness of things to a place, and a place fit for things was conspicuous by its absence on this occasion in a great many instances. It is a great mistake having the dog-hunting, leather-flapping, buck-jumping racing of the local thoroughbreds on the day previous to the Pastoral Association's show ; it makes the two things antagonistic, and that is a state of affairs that I am certain the committees of either neither wish for or intended should be—yet it is the case. Think with me, Messieurs Committee-men, and alter this thing next season, and, whatever you do, above all try your utmost to keep up your annual show and improve it. But, as regards " a place for everything and everything in its place," I saw, when at the show, a spectacle that struck me as being ludicrously out of place, and that was a bullock-driver, professionally employed, wearing a "bell-topper hat." What colonially bred'bullock, with any sense of the proprieties, could stand such an exhibition ? One wonders what tho private . noughts of Redman, Spot, Jolly, and Lion could have been on witnessing such a startling innovation on the time-hallowed dress. Are the specialities in speech and costume, for which old-hand bullockpunchers are notorious, to be swept away by new chum innovators ? " Perish the thought." What will those who have " won a gallant name " in many a wellfought bullocky contest think of this degeneracy ? Say, Rolleston, M.H.R., can we stand this knocking down of our distinctive prerogatives ? Sero, sedserio — '* The boast of heraldry, tbe pomp of

power, And all that beauty, all that wealth e'er gave, Await alike the inevitable hour, The paths of glory lead but to the grave." Yes, it is so, "everything passes away " even, down to tbe official life of Road Board membership. Such was my thoughts .on reading in the Mail of an election for •members of the Akaroa and Wainui Road Board, and missing from the list of names of those leturned that of the energetic seconder, who used to figure so prominently, in his especial role, as a member of Piper's musical party and corps dramatiques. Do you think Aye can do anything with the new man, eh, P., to fill up the gap in the orchestra ? Can we " put him through his facings" and make a smartly-appreciative seconder of him? You know he mu.tu't be allowed to blow John Duxhury's trumpet; if be does, that redoubtable orator will dig up the hatchet, and slide into the war track in less than a brace of tremolos. Besides, there is Freddy's Jew's harp and BenmVs fiddle must not be touched, or attempted to be played upon, until the neophyte has passed his noviciate.. If you dare to let him " dig in " at either of those instruments, chaotic confusion and '* discord dire " will result. No, P., the other parts are cast," he must be a seconder; teach him to be " ready, aye ready," to second '■ at tlie word of command," and then you can play your overtures, and other concerted pieces, hannoriiously and well. Bedad, d'ye mind me now ? " When griping grief the heart doth wound, And doleful dumps the mind oppress, Then music,, with her silver sound, With speedy help doth lend rediess," Adieu.