BREVITIES.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 2, Issue 134, 30 October 1877, Page 3

BREVITIES.

Marie Antoinette's milliner had, once upon a time, a profound thought. Said she : " Madame, there is nothing new but what has been forgotten." If you go on an excursion, and the seats are all taken, stand up as long as you can, and then cry out, " Man overboard !" Every woman will rush for the rail. . -. ....•■-"■_p"";••;;—--■' ■''■'."* I**''1**''

At a fashionable wedding recently, when the bridegoom knelt down, 3 dol. 50 were plainly seen on the soles of his boots. There is nothing like economy in beginning married life. So you like your second wife better than your first?" "Yes." he said enthusiastically, "she always puts enough starch in my shirts .to save me the trouble of scratching my back." . Widow Van Cott says she wants to worry Satan about ten years more. Then she'll be ready to let up on him. But she'll be surprised to see how quickly he'll get on his pins again ! English women never keep up with the fashion, because they wear the same dress too long. But then American women wear iheir. dresses too long, too, sometimes — especially in the street. The laboratories for women students in the Boston Institute of Technology are fitted up complete for all the studies that 'come'within theirrange. When will New York do as much for its women ?

..A lecture inquires : " What shall we do with our girls .?" That conundrum is easy. Give 'em three square meals a day : teach them to help their mothers ; and at last they A may become really helpmeets for husbands.

"The dead march in Saul!" exclaimed a startled old lady on seeing in her paper the title of an old piece of music. " Well, now, I don't believe the dead can march - in Saul any more than they can march over in Jarsey!" A Deadwood paper announces that Mrs Marquette, whose husband poisoned himself on Monday night, married again Tuesday morning. This is only a proof of the business-like charactor of the denizens of Deadwood.

Men who are well posted say that •ninety-nine women out of a hundred returning from Europe smuggle goods of some sort, somewhere ; and the hundiedth gets her husband to smuggle for her But It's all wrong, ladies.

"Docter, my, daughter seems to be going blind, and she's just getting ready for her wedding, too. O, dear me. what is to be done ?,' "Let her go right on with her wedding, madam, by all means. If anything can open her eyes marriage will."

" Mother, mother, here's Freddy teasing the baby. Make him cry again, Freddy, and then mother will give him some sugar, and I'll take it away froro him ; then he'll squall again and mother -'ill give him some more, and you can tale that, and we'll both have some."

This lady and her daughter, as every body knows, spare no efforts to repair the ravages of time in there faces, and are not always successful. " I saw M'me E.," says a friend : "how old and worn, she looks," " Yea ; poor woman. She is beginning to look as old as her daughter."

A virago who was berating her &e_; for their fashionable follies was interrupted by a gentleman with the remark, " Madam, yon do your sex injustice." " Oh, you admire them, I suppose," she snappishly retorted. " I do retorted the gentleman calmly, "particularly when they're deaf yirand dumb."