WAY SIDE NOTES.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 2, Issue 129, 12 October 1877, Page 2

WAY SIDE NOTES.

[BY AN OCCASIONAL CONTIUBUTOR.J-. There is a structure, small but unique, of unpretending, but somewhat ridiculous, appearance, on the little grass plot in front of Professor Chad wick's dispensary, which is calculated to cause the observant and thinking passer-by unlimited food for reflection. If the Professor had painted on this enigmatical framework the soul stirring words " GiiKitiir Peotohal," it would have been a most, successful advertising dotlge, for every passer-by is bound to see it, and even ho who nwu would read. At first'sight, the educated mind is apt to incline to the idea that the angle, represented by the cross-piece in this neat little structure, is intended to maik the level of the. main road; but as this, on being worked out, would produce in one direction a rise, and in the other a decline, of one in two, the absurdity of the supposition is at once apparent, and it is there-fore-discarded.' One turns then to the shop, in hopes of finding some solution of the mystery, and here, it's more than probable, some imbecile at one's side informs one, gratis, that, a chemist's shop is the proper, place to go for a solution.- .However, merely turning'a glance of scorn on the idiot aforesaid, we continue our search, and are rewarded by the sight of a notice as follows: — "Teeth extracted here." This, then, is the use. of that graceful scaffolding! The unwary, and still more unhappy, victim is—yes, it must ber— lashed down to this framework, while the Professor, and his military-looking assist- 1

ant, extract the offending grinder! • The thought is too real, too vivid, and we leave, unciSnciously holding our jaws. (By-the-by-e, I should be rather glad if it had a lasting effect of this kind on a few female friends of mine). Since penning the above note, I have been informed that this peculiar looking structure has nothing whatever to do with the extraction of teeth, or the marking of levels, but is a jumping bar, erected by the professor for the matutinal exercise of the boy, and himself, with a view to this year's rural sports, and a prospective prize for the high jump. I hear that, owing to the number of people that have lately fallen over the seA wall in the dark, the Borough Council intend erecting an illuminated- notice board as a warning to nocturnal pedestrians and equestrians. The board will have inscribed on it the words, "Washing and mangling done here." A visitor io our beautiful little town paid a visit, an evening or two ago, to our public library. The situation of the building having been p> evionsly pointed out to him, he confidently pursued, his .way along the footpath until opposite* the door, and then turned, with the intention of walking straight to the enliance. The next step he took, he had occasion- to ;teel that the end of tiie world was imminent, and that he had fallen over the side into Space. His uext sensation was, that a considerable piece of ground had flung itself at him with unerring aim, and thai he was Borne.what battered in consequence. When picked up, he was heard to luntter that it seemed a kind of original rb&c| r W:o'rk where the footpaths were formed on?si level with the chimneys. I fully endorse the remark, and can only suggest that if they are formed in such a manner, the Council might provide ladders, or steps, or sliding boards, or something, so as to get off them gracefully.