SCISSORS.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 2, Issue 127, 5 October 1877, Page 3

SCISSORS.

A Boston paper remarks :—" One cannot be too careful this weather. A swell exchanged his heavy winter cane for a light bamboo, and caught a severe cold that laid him up for a week.

An exchange gives this sound counsel —"Never hire a dog, for the poet says ' Let dogs delight to bark and bite.'

Somebody describes a young lady as a person who kisses her gentlemen friends till she is eight years old, and then leaves off till she is 18.

There is a time for everything, and the time to take a baby to a show is just after the entertainment is over.

" What line of business do you think I had best adopt?" asked a young aspirant for the stage, of the "leading man." "Well," said the old stager, gazing critically at the youth's costume, " I should say the clothes line would suit you best."— Boston Com. Bulletin.

A man, whose name is unknown, was seen to take oft' his coat and deliberately walk into a dam near to the cemetery with the intention to commit suicide. He was taken out of the water in an almost unconscious state, and when asked his reason for his conduct, he replied that his wife had presented him with an addition to his family.— Sheffield Telegraph. Mr John B. Gough, the great temperance advocate, has a farm at Worcester 'containing 125 acres. It is satirically observed (says an American paper) that he is obliged to lecture five times a week, his fee being 200 dollars, in order to sustain this farm.

At Portsmouth, a little girl named Matilda Knight, five years of age. was crossing the road near her parents' house with a bottle in her hand; when she stumbled against the kerb and fell. The sudden contact with the pavement -smashed the bottle, and one of the fragments of glass was driven violently into the poor child's chest, producing a wound similar to that of a bayonet thrust. Assistance was promptly procured, but the child bled so profusely that death ensued before any remedies could be attempted.

Eedbreasts are remarkable birds ; many a narrative of interest is on record concernt ing their familiarity, and a very remarkable pair have rendered themselves conspicuous in the parish of Markineh, iFifeshire. They have this season bum their nest under a sleeper on the Nortlt British Railway, and, despite the almosh continual passing and repassing of cnginet and carriages, they have been quite "as home " in their mossy retreat, in which they have reared a young and promising family.

" Your visit reminds me of the growth of a successful newspaper," said Uncle Jabez, leaning , his chin on his hand, and glancing on William Henry, who was sweet on Angelica. " Why so ?" inquired William Henry. Well, they commenced on a weekly, grew to a tri-weekly, and have become daily, with a Sunday supplement." "Yes." said William Henry, bracing up, "after we are married we will issue an extra."