THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 2, Issue 126, 2 October 1877, Page 2

THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

" Onward and Upward." " Elevatng Thoughts."

The exigencies and necessities of my vagrant, cosmopolitan, peripatetic .profession, compel me to do a great deal in the " here, there, and everywhere " line. In the course of my " many and manifold " wanderings, to and from Akaroa, I have been often, of late, sorely perplexed as to why that new piece of anaconda-shaped road, on German Bay hill, has been made, and when it is likely that the public will be able to avail themselves of it. I cannot understand it no-how. I suppose the making of that piece of road was a necessity, and that tho same necessity that called it into existence still exists. I suppose that the contractors who made it, and those from whom land was taken, have been paid ; that the land, so taken, has been duly conveyed, for the purpose of a public road, and that nothing intervenes to prevent the utilisation of this serpentine high-way. I suppose all this to be the case, because, I cannot bring myself to believe that the members of the Eoad Board would lend themselves to the expenditure of public monies, without, in the first place, assuring themselves that every legality, and proper form, had been strictly enforced as well as complied with. The more I write the more I am puzzled. I have read the reports of the Road Board's meetings, but cannot call to mind having seen any mention made, of this road, either in the member's speeches or clerk's reports. How is this Mr Harmonic Piper? There must be some reason why this necessary piece of newly made road is not open to public traffic; then why not tell it ? Let us know the ins and outs —not of the road— connected with this matter, so that if any action on the part of the public is wanted. it may he at once commenced. Where are you John Duxbury, where are you ? Oh, John, on this subject " I feel like one Who treads alone Some banquet-hall deserted, Whose lights are fled, Whose garlands dead And all but he departed I" Yes, no doubt of it! It is possible for some natures to have •' too much of a good thing," even if that thing is Bridge. Why even I, who my own estimation—a remarkably good thing, have heard it flatteringly insinuated that "there was too much of me ami my impertinence," and those that said it jocularly, meant it in right down earnest. They didn't frighten me, nor yet disturb my appetite or slumbers. Never mind, B. We public characters must expect disparagers ; you may be sure we will find envious empty-noddles, whose splenetic natures will not allow them to see any excellencies except in

their conceited selves. Have you, 8., never read the/fuble o£ "the' Fox and the Grapes, or thaf of the Dog in the ganger ?" I have, and often tumble acitoss their human prototypes. It is too b;),d! We do our level best -ki please, o£t#n at personal inconvenience, tiHth of intentions, and for what we consider praiseworthy objects ; we do all this, yet Well ! I am a tolerably well-developed-in-conceit cuss. I have been bracketing my vagabond sslf with a gentleman, to whom I have had no " letter of introduction," and airing my " swag und billy " in his , company. My apology must be that cool effrontery if one of the characteristics of a sundowner. You can square this matter for me, J.D.G.—it is impossible to please all. The grunting of swine and hissing ot geese are perfectly harmless, it amuses without being hurtful or injurious.

'•These old fellows have Their ingratitude in them hereditary : Their blood is cak'd, 'tis cold, it seldom

flows: Tis lack of kindly warmth, they are not kind ; And nature, as it grows again toward earth, Is fashion'd for the journey, dull and heavy."

"Handy Andy" is not altogether a creature of the imagination, as there are handy gentlemen, of the Andy type, to be found in most communities. I am told that a well-known Akaroa publican has, in his employ, a genius of the handy class who is a perfect treasure in his way. liecently, the hotel proprietor had occasion to send Andy to one of the local chemists, and entrusted that eminent bungler with a written prescription, instructing him to wait while it was made up, and bring the medicine back with him. On arriving at Bolus's the prescription was duly handed in, and, that expert practitioner, after playing a fantasia among a small regiment of bottles, produced a drench, which he requested Andy to swallow, assuring him that it was all right, and that it would have a magic effect in restoring him to health. Nothing loth, Andy bolted the potion, and then calmly waited for the medicine he was to take back. Bolus, after a short time, wondered what the messenger was idling about his shop after, so put a few questions which elicited the fact that, he was waiting for the medicine he had swallowed; mutual explanations followed, and Andy was sent back with two do2;es of physic, one inside himself and the other in a phial. On his return Andy related, to his employer, his medical experience, and didn't that gentleman give his faithful servitor a powerful fright, as well as a double-barrelled emetic ! " 0, sick to death : My legs, like loaden branches, bow to the earth, Willing to leave their burden." " Put yourself in his place." I should be remarkably sorry to do so, for I consider him too hard-worked for me to want his place. Who and what am I driving at ? Why the man of telegrams, and letters, " the people's William," who else should I be thinking of ? If all constitutencies hunt up their members as we do ours, and if all members are as courteous to their constituents as is ours, then is idleness a thing unknown to a M.H.R. It is possible to encroach upon good nature, even the worm, we are told, will turn. I have often thought that in bothering Mr Montgomery so much upon every petty thing, of a public nature, which transpires in our midst, we are piling our loads so heavily upon his back, that it may happen to him, as it did to the Camel, of fable, we may pop an extra telegram-straw on his back, and he may collapse with his over-bur-dened duties. I hope not, at all events, more especially as I would like to write a few letters, or send, and receive some telegrams on the subject of the Akaroa Light-house. lam not satisfied about that business; I want to see that promised road to the site commenced ; I want to be certain of one thing, which is that the necessary preliminary work is in hand, and then I shall begin to believe that Mr G. McLean's promises are something more than empty words. Until then, the articles of my faith do not include a firm belief in Ministers keeping their promises in this matter. Stir up the menagerie once more Mr M. and aid to throw a light in aid of the light. • As the other William puts it—■ " Do not, for one repulse, Forego the purpose that you resolved To effect." —Adieu.