SCISSORS.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume 2, Issue 114, 21 August 1877, Page 3

SCISSORS.

"That's the only wedding'trip I shal probably ever take," said an old bachelor as he stumbled over a bride's train. What is Heaven's best gift to a man ?" asked a young lady smiling sweetly on a pleasantlooking clerk . " A boss." replied the young man, with great prudence. Latest war news is of the Czar passing up and down before his tent —" Pashaw! Let him wave his Sandbag Sheriff if he wants to. Would, however, that Alexis, with his bold white terrier, were here." Enter a Cossack—" Sire, Djbtubrichtivohmagdebig is taken ! " Czar—" Upon me word ! Well, speed the news to Ivan Bull. Ho, villain ! So to Nekopoitchitsky that ere nightfall our flag must be in Wbandispakomensividsky. [Retires to consult the map.] Harper's New York Magazine, for May last, publishes the following anecdote: — "The present Archbishop of Dublin, the gifted author of the work, so widely known, on the Study of Words, is not in very robust health, and has been for many years apprehensive of paralysis. At a recent dinner in Dublin, given by the LordLieutenant of Ireland, his Grace sat on the right side of his hostess the Duchess of Abercorn. In the midst of the dinne-i the company was startled by seeing the Archbishop rise from his seat, and still more startled to hear him exclaim in a dismal and sepulchral tone, " It has come ! it has come!"