THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume I, Issue 104, 17 July 1877, Page 2

THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

" The King is Dkad. Long live the Kin 6 !" " PitovKRBCAL Inconsistencies'." A wail is going forth from the land. From the " Three Kings" to the " Solandcra," laments more or less strongly uttered arc heing made over the loss oil poor dear dead and gone provincialism. Grey and Macandrew are beginning to be better understood, their valiant defence of the defunct form of government, which was by many, ascribed to love of power nnd its emoluments, is now beginning to be called by its proper appellation, which is—pure patriotism, and an unselfish wish to preserve what they—and many more of us are beginning to think the same —conceived to be the best and most suitable— for had it not been well tried—form of government for the colony. Our Canterbury some-time-abolitionists are beginning to ■' castigate poor pussy ;" it is slowly dawning upon their minds, through the touching influence of the breeches pocket, that the present form of government, with its additional burdens, is not the unmixed blessing they in their sweet innocence thought it would be,_ so the " busiest q& the-busy" among them are racking th'eif cerebrum to discover an antidote. They met in solemn conclave did these motherly roosters, they cackled and crowed over the eggs of their own laying ; they incubated and brought forth an abortive ssheine, which included the complete snuffing out of the Akaroa county ; they ruffled their feathers, fluttered their wings, expanded their chests, and strutted off with the " complacent air of an old hen with one chick, conscious in their own minds that they had " found the physic to scotch the snake." Don't you swallow that potion of theirs, Mr. Latter. I suppose Akaroa is thought too much of the dung-hill breed, therefore unworthy to figure, by representative, at the great " hen convention." Never mind boya, don't you be "snuffed out," show those roosters if you are only a bantam, there is some game in you. Akaroa oiit of the orchestra—nee —hever ! neee— hev—eriT ! ! " 0 for a lodge in some vast wilderness, Some boundless contiguity of shade, . Where rumour of.oppression and deceit, Of unsuccessful or successfu war, Might never reach me more." Horrible is the thought of war, terrible are its results, yet you of Akaroa are in the midst of it, and seem unruffled at the horrors and terrors ef its presence. "Codjin and Short" —I apologise, I mean Wiggins and Short—are among you taking lives by wholesale. In none of the most murderously cannibalistic days of our Maori forerunners, was more avidity shown by any of those epicures for taking lives, than i shown by these rival hunters after the article enumerated. They have laid themselves out to do the business by wholesale) but they are singularly unanimous in j

agreeing to " take the goods the gods offer," even by retail. If they cannot take lives' their conscicious stomachs do not object to a life—l wish to goodness they would join forces and take the lives of all the melody producing cats that nightly waltz around my " raia inia." Babarous as it may sound, I wish them well in their life-taking endeavours. I care not whether " Codlin" — I mean " Wiggins —is your man," or "Short." Their business is to explain what every prudential mart should do, and 1 have a glimmer that both of them thoroughly understand the subject upon which they harangue. What's your opinion, doctor. "Our doctor thus, with stuffed sufficiency, Of all ommigenus omnisoiency, Began (as who would not begin That had, like him, so much within ?) To let it out." " Golly ! " yon jes deport yourself, Mr. Press contorter. You have, my dear scribbling •' man and brudder," " kicked up a muss;" trod on the toes of "Massa Jonson," and, his burnt cork coadjutors ; riled the local talent; brought down the wrath of the " Darkey Drama " upon yourself ; done no good by criticising what "D. D." insinuates you never saw ; got yourself accused of writing a " sarcastic account of a company" ' whose performances were, they seem to think, above the level of your comprehension, and altogether have managed to achieve for yourself a dark distinction from the darkies. Now, dear Boy 1 you should not do such things. You should remember that amateur performances are not fair game for criticisms; that it is at considerable trouble to themselves,.as well as time and expense, that amateur performers are put to in perfecting themselves in their assumed characters, before they can appear in public ; that to 'encourage, and not deter any reasonable means of amusement should be the desire of a newspaper scribe, as by so doing you may indirectly aid in bringing before the public gaze, the latent talent of some hitherto unknown local Rocius. When you " read this, Mr. our own correspondent," "mark" it well, "learn" to do better, " inwardly digest" what the Sundowner means in kindly expostulation. " 'Tis a little thing " To give a cup of water ; yet its draught Of cool refreshment, drain'd by f ever'd lips, May give a shock of pleasure to the frame More exquisite than when Nectarean juice Renews the life of joy in happiest hours." We all o£ us seem to know the wants of a place or district; we seem all of us to have some idea as to how these wants are to be met and satisfied ; yet, strange but ferae, none of us ever seem inclined to take the iniatory step to carry out our self conceived plans of assisting to alleviate or meet the wants of the place of our location. The reading of the letter signed Civis has called up these thoughts to my mind. Civis, dear sir, you write sensibly, why not act in accordance with your writings ? What good do you do Akaroa and yourself by accusing some of your neighbours of making " balls for other people to roll?" You say "as a citizen you are perfectly willing to assist in any works for the benefit of the place." Why not cut cut that word " assist ?" You seem to me to know what is required for Akaroa ; to know what is necessary to be done for the purpose of meeting those requirements ; then why not " come out of ' your shell" and make yourself j|a leader of your fellow townsmen ? Battle for your ideas. Don't be cowed down by the apathetic indifference of some, the hostile criticisms ofi-others, the pooh pooh of the many ; but, sling right in, remembering that the race is not always won by the fleetest of foot. A new star is wanted in the firmament of Akaroa. " Arise and shine," dear boy. " But be not long, for in the tedious minutes j Exquisite interval, I'm on the rack ; For sure the greatest evil man can know, ! Bears no proportion to this dread suspense" 1 Mr Ivess informs me that with this publication of the Akaroa Mail, the xope of paper that has, during the past year, bound him and me together, will have to be " torn in twain." However, although I have to reluctantly sever my connection with Mr Ivess, yet my connection with -the Mail will still exist, as I have arranged with Mr Garwood to continue my peculiar feats of penmanship in the columns of this journal. For many reasons lam sorry to part with Mr Ivess, he has charitablyoverlooked my vagrant habits, has forgiven my acquired taste for mixed drinking, lias " shouted" for me, reasoned with me, tried to make me better, and hasn't succeeded. For the new proprietary, I have ta say a few words. It will be their endeavour to keep up the character and tone of the paper, to place before their readers a more varied assortment of original matter, to try and improve upon in the future what their predecessor has so well done in the past, and make this journal second to no other country paper in Canterbury. For myself I will " take a back seat." "A strong sou-westers blowing, Bill; Hark! don't ye hear it roar now, Lord help 'em, how I pities them Unhappy folks on shore now !" —Adieu.