THE SUNDOWNERS SWAG.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume I, Issue 95, 15 June 1877, Page 2

THE SUNDOWNERS SWAG.

" Waters well mingled with" "Schiedam Schnaps', ode on Dutch Courage."

As are, almost without an exception, the honorable gentleman following the same ennobling profession as myself, so am I just the very antipodes of what is known as a model of sobriety. Such being the case, I do not think I.can be accused of a yearning toward " Good Templarism" or of any feeling of adoration for their ostensible principles. Yet, strange as it may appear, I have a strong feeling of respect for many of their doings, arid wish them "more power and pluck" in their endeavour to reclaim those who are thought irreclaimable. I honor "the Templars" for their persistent courage in disseminating their opinions and introducing their lodges into "fresh fields and pastures new;" for their social evenings rational amusements, never mind if the mental fare provided is of an inferior class, or 'too bad to be clashed, the intent and purpose is meant for gdjbd ; for their open lodges where skeptics, like myself, can go and hear their ideas propounded, and although we may leave with unchanged opinions still are we none the worse for hearing what the other side has to say; for the undoubted good they have done by reclaiming, although too often only temporarily, confirmed drunkards, for their indirect aid in the promotion of law observing , good citizenship and the better observance of temperance in all things; for these and many other humanising influences do I commend "the Templar" fraternity ; but on' the other hand there are many things to be said against the ways and doings of this " peculiar people." I have a strong dislike to the hypocritical, cantwell, pharisaic style of many of the members, the hypocrisy is so glaring that it disgusts one ; I abominate the flaunting of ribbons and tawdry decorations which within great majority appear to be the end and aim of the order. I have an horror of those members who, in and out of season, are continually—verbally—thrusting their nostrum down one's throat until they, and their society, become nausiously disgusting ; for more reasons than I care to enumerate I am averse to both sexes attending lodges and taking offices therein. I am still in unison with Mynheer Van Dunk Though he never got drunk, Sipped brandy and water daily, And he quenched his,thirst With two quarts of the first ; - To a pint of the latter daily. \ The poetic word painting paragraphist of the Mail has been "slinging in" a " high faluting" description of thedwelling houses recently erected within your Borough. I want you now, sir, to give him a job of another sort. Let him indulge his " flights of fancy" and soaring descriptive powers, by describing "in eloquent prose" the tumble-down-fencqs; weed-covered garden patches ; unfenced wastes; prominently primeval edifices of utility ; dock and thistle ovtaqprown paddocks ; neglected which add to the bounteous beauties lavished by nature upon and around Akaroa. What a splendid ungarnered field of realisms has he not here to " work his sweet will" upon ? See, Sir, that the Court-house has justice done it; that its beautiful and bountiful offshoots, and appendages, are " run in;" ! that Jollie-street is not neglected worse than it is at present, and that tfie Town Hall be not put in the shade. To quote a •very old play ! " Come, paint the earthly gardener; so j lie dipped His pencil in the gorgeous sunset hues, And on the canvass soon there shone and glowed A regal figure, dazzling to behold ; ! But while I gazed it faded from my view; A cloud, like that of night, came over it, . And left nought but a black, unsightly blot."

I don't like it i£ I do, as they used to. say on the jetty, " blow me!" Myself and * a dribble of mild Hooper, have held a arch chapter and solemn conclave, the subject matter of our deliberations being the too free and familiar manner in which c the clergy have |, cen wr jtten of in the Mail. Alter pondering much, haranguing but little, mentally perspiring at the bold disregard shown by moii for their spiritual advisers, getting—on one side—hazy in thought, muddled in brain, loose in limb, and vague in ideas, we come to the unanimous conclusion'that to write of the local clergy as "the parsons of the Peninsula" was bad form. The word is a good sound Anglo-Saxon one, but then the use of it, as it reads, sounds like familiarity breeding contempt, so also did the styling of a clergyman " the old gentleman." We all know that the "parsons" of the present day call themselves, and like to be called priests, it has a more sound, commanding respect, reverence, and veneration, and we—Hooper and me—thought dreamily, that whatever we might think of the men we.should by our outward actions and written words show that we hold their sacred calling in honour. " As genial as sunshine, * * Like warmth toimpart, Is a good-natured word ' From a good-natured heart. I like your signature and plain way of* putting an intolerable hurtful grievance Mr. " 20s in the : £j'' although your remedy • for the shameless way in which tradespeople are mulcted is certainly Utopian. For. my part .I/am with,you : "boots and body" in seeing no difference between persons obtaining goods on credit,* knowing full well they have no intention of paying" "and putting their hand into a man's pocket and robbing him." I have only one name for both actions and a synonymous name for, those who go in to ease their fellows in either matters. I have heard it said that" persons in trade should protect themselves," and in answer to my queries as to how this was to be done have been answered—" why,' by giving no credit." Now, to me, this answer is simply ridiculous, such a scheme of trading would - never answer in a country district where there are no Saturday nights pay received, and where the dairy fanner is the principal" customer of the local traders ; it would* drive custom elsewhere, be insulting to the - honest, although temporarily impecunious man, and would not, as it could not, cure the Avrong I in common with "twenty,, colonial roberts," and so many sufferers lament over. • Depend upon it, Sir, if any " Jeremy Diddler" intends a' do they go in to, and will carry, their point, -either by unblushing falsehoods, mendacity, cajole, blarney, of other means of a questionable kind. Sorry am I that the clan J. Diddler. is in such strong force on Bank's Peninsula. May their shadows grow less. '• Man is a child of sorrow, and this world In which we breathe, hath cares enough to plague us ; But it hath means • withal to sooth these cares ; ' ■' ' And he who meditates on others woes, Shall in that meditation lose his own." k a Adieu.