THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

Akaroa Mail and Banks Peninsula Advertiser, Volume I, Issue 80, 24 April 1877, Page 3

THE SUNDOWNER'S SWAG.

" Blow. Oh Blow, Ye Gentle Breezes,

All among the Leaves and Treezes." Windbags, a biography. Blow! yes, we can blow, we colonials notwithstanding the Australians blowing up Mr. Anthony Trollope for publishing to the world his opinion of their blowing powers.' Blow! I'll bet my fly-blown blanket that when the Akaroa Domain Board again breeze up in print, a whole gale of what they have done, what they ought to have done, and what they expect to get done, what they have undone, and what they have never done, will be blowing. I never saw, or read, a better specimen of blowing than the report of the Board, published in the Mail some time since. The Board must have blown itself completely out that time, for it has not shown vitality since, or otherwise it is taking a long spell to recover lost gas preparatory to blowing another blast on the trumpet of their engineer. This brings me to a host of queries—what has become of that shaky plank, I mean Board ? what has become of their chief excutive officer, I mean the engineer. Where is the promised summer house ? where is the pro-mised-to-be-published balance-sheet and report? when will the Board advise the Government to hand over the domain to the Borough Council ? when will they "Three meet again, In thunder, lightning, or in rain ?" I thought hotter of you, James. What are you dreaming of ? Tell your colleagues and their engineer " What, men want is, not talent, but purpose ; in other words, not the power to achieve, but the will to labour." I beg leave to propose—No, it is not a bit of use my proposing any remedy, for Mr. Lelievre will not second a proposition of mine, " Eight too la roo ra li de de." Consider that the tune of a " Hymn of praise," with as many verses as ye doleful ballad known as"Lordßateman," —not Bateman Missing sometime, bailiff E.M. Court —and John Sundowner—more, or less, "mops and brooms " the vocalist, singing huskily this " let us be joyful" over the rinding of the seal. In imagination I can see the beamingly benignant smiles illuming the countenances of the motherly councillors, when their darling was unwrapped and the dear child held up by wet nurse McGregor to theiradmiringgazes. "Chuckee! chuckee!" " his worship" must have said when dandling the sweet darling innocent fondly. " Did Shark Alley Lodge grumble and growl at urn ? did that nasty old Sundowner jeer and sneer at my little booty - wooty ? but you have come back ducky! two or three pounds better, and we will have a tea-party, and invite some other Ladies to come and see its prettily engaging self;" now dearey

"This little pig came to market, This little pig stayed at home, 0 t> 0 O O O ■ This little pig cried weeck ! weeck." What the deuce is the good of an inscription in such infinitessimally small letters, that it will take a microscope to read them. I wonder if the ratepayers of the borough think that the money spent by the Council over this blunderingly imperfect seal, has been expended with a due regard to economy. I have my opinion, it may be but a microscopic one, but I shall vote for it " like a man." " Locus sigilli" As they sayin Gallic, Councillor Annand. Hurrah 1 " Three cheers and a tiger !" We've hooked and landed him without using a gaif, no thanks however to Councillor Cullen or his brother undertakers. I intend to invite any man to " step outside, be the powers," who denies that our Chinaman is not the real grit, and who says he is not the square and pure Celestial article. Yon can, Sir! just take one of Missen's double-barrelled affidavits that I will play on, and about the person of any sceptic, a game that most Sundowners do understand. I have been thinking how you Akaroaites can best show your appreciation of the honor this distinguished " Son of the Sun " has done you, and have hit upon the '' right and left bower and ace." Hospitality is the " little game !" Invite him to a banquet at Beecher's, and if that doesn't cook him, I am a gone coon ; if he. should get through that, try him again with a Little River race banquet, and if that is not quantum suff, give him a Pigeon Bay mixed drunk, alα Stewart; surely such a judicious display of unbounded hospitality will take the twists and curls out of his majestic pigtail. If it does not leave him, and that horizontal.

"Wide is the world, and tbo' various in station, Each to his neighbour good wishes may give ; All men belong to humanity's nation, Nature's great law is, to live and let live." " General Growler" writes me that there is said dissension among the members of Shark Alley Lodge, 1.0.1. G.G., over the much-lamented fact, that their highly-es-teemed and venerated principal, the G.M.G., has so far forgotten the principles and purposes of his order, as to become a school committee member, and also that '"James" is continually trotting himself off without leave," to the scandal of the lodge, and the injury of its best interests. As to the heinousness of the first case, opinions vary considerably, some growlingly affirming that it is a wise step, as it will add to the powers of the lodge, and extend honest, fearless growling ; others again say that it virtually tahooea one of the best growledover subjects the lodge has, for it would be decidedly wrong for any member to grumble before the G.M.G. has had his growl. As to the delinquency of the other offendsr, it has been universally condemned, and the lodge has had a unanimous growl over an endeavour to discover " How much a goose that's been sent to roam, Excels a goose that's been kept at home." Adieu.