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Auckland Times, Volume 3, Issue 143, 4 October 1845, Page 4

An American Ball-Shooting.—l'll tell you of a peculiar cheap shot as I had with a single bullet. In at farmer Spovin's, I see a coup ready to go to Brooklyn, with seven and forty ducks in it. So I said to Spovin, " how much will you charge me for a single shot among that brood with a single bullet, whole, and not split V* " Two dollars," said Spovin. "Done !" says I, slick enough. So I took a little bruised corn and strewed it along the trough, and out pops the seven and forty heads of the ducks. Then I lay down on the ground right away, and taking a perspective horizontal view of the whole regiment sideways, I wish 1 may be teetotally substaquilated if I didn't carry off the entire whole of the seven and forty heads.— American Paper, Printer's Precepts.— Never inquire thou of the printer for the news j for behold it is his duty at the appointed time to give it unto thee without asking. It is not fit that thou shouldst ask of him who is the author of an article ; for his duty requires him to keep such things unto himself. Do not make a practice of borrowing thy neighbour's papers—it is neither honest nor independent. When thou dost enter into a printing-office, have a care to thyself that thou dost not touch the types, for thou mayest cause the printer much trouble. Look not at the copy which is in the hands of the compositor, for that is not meet in the sight of the printer. Neither peep over the outside while it is being struck off, or look over the shoulder of the editor while he is reading a proof. Prefer the town paper to any other—subscribe immediately for it and pay in advance, that it may be well with thee and thy little ones.— lbid.

Post-Office Perseverance Adventures of a Newspaper. —An apprentice lad, on board an English vessel in Calcutta, had lately a packet presented to him through the Post-office, the postage of which amounted to 20 rupees (or about £2 sterling). It merely contained a newspaper, which some friend of his in London had enclosed in half-a-sheet of paper, and addressed to him when his vessel was in London, expecting that it would find him in St. Katherine's docks. His vessel, however, sailed before the letter could be delivered ; and it followed him—first to Hobart Town, next to Sydney—thenee to Bombay, Madras, and Calcutta, —thence to the Mauritius—and, finally, back again to Calcutta—where it caught him, after having travelled 30,000 miles, and occupied on its tour one year and eight months. The heavy postage, of course, was owing to the oversight of enclosing the newspaper, instead of sending it open at the ends.

Fit for a Lawyer. —An old lady walked into a lawyer's office, some time ago, when the following conversation took place : " Squire I called to see if you would take this boy and make a lawyer of him V " The boy appears rather young, Madam. How old is he ?" '•Seven years, Sir." "He is too young. Have you no boys older V «* Oh yes, Sir, I have several; but we have concluded to make farmers of the others. I told my man I thought this little fellow would make a first-rate lawyer, and so called to see if you would take him." •' No, Madam, he is too young yet to commence the study of the profession. But why do you think this boy is so much better calculated for a lawyer than your other sons? "Why, you see, Sir, he is just seven years old to-day. When he was only five, he would lie like all nature; when he was got to be six he was as sassy and impudent as any critter could be ; aud now he will steal everything he can lay his hand on!"