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Auckland Times, Volume 2, Issue 92, 15 October 1844, Page 4

Conversation between a Wea-ther-Glass and A Weather-Cock. —" Good morning," said the Weatherglass to the Weather-cock; "you diu'l look well this morning." "No wonder," said the Weather-cock, for I've had nothing but wind in my teeth all night, and I don't see, Mr. Weatherglass, that you have much reason to boast, for you look rather down this morning." " Do I ?"said the Weather-glass. " At all events I'm up to you ; up to you indeed 1 now I look at myself, I'm up to sixty. You give yourself too many airs, Mr. Weather-cock. 'Tis true you are at the top of this establishment, of which you are not a little vain.'"

♦'Little vanel" said the Weather cock, "no, indeed, I don't see a larger or handsomer one than myself for miles round, except the church, and there we generally find more vane than useful: and as to my being the top of this establishment, you've always had the teins of the family in your hands, and I should have very little objection to change places with you," *.» Change places!" said the Weather, glass, '• I never knew you to keep one a minute together !'* " That's my misfortune," says the Weather-cock ; *• but yesterday evening I engaged myself to sweet Miss Zephyr, and went south-about to meet her, I had not been with her more than five minutes, when old Boreas made me rudely turn my back towards her, and look at him all night, while he amused himself with spitting hail and sleet in my face. V I am thus to be disturbed in my pleasure, I'll turn rusty about it, and then I'll stick where I please." '* Ah I" said the Weather-glass, ** we all have our complaints : you know my existence depends on my telling the truth : now I marked • much rain* yesterday as plain as could be, but my young mistress being prohaisod a holiday if it were fine, screw'd me up to * set fair,' so they set out and the wet set in, and I had nearly beeu discharged for this ; but on my master carefully examining me, he found out the trick, which put him in a thundering passion, and I fell down to 'stormy.''" "Ah! well," said the Weather-cock, " I was a little alarmed when I was first put up here ; for when I was fixed and duly regulated by the compass (which, by the bye, I consider, must be rather a sharp instrument, for I heard it had a needle

and thirty-two points }) I was declared by all present ' to stand completely square,' when, to my dismay, in two minutes afterwards the wind blew me completely round ; but since we've been talking, Mr, Weather glass, 1 perceive, by your face, you're not many degrees from being very dry ; what say you to. a glass ot something?" "With all my heart," says the Wea-ther-glass,, " if- you'll stand it." - "I stand it ?" said the Weather-cock ; " did yoji ever know me to stand to any thine?"—here he turned half round, and look'd the other way. "Just like you, you shabby rascal," says the Weather glass ; " there's no trusting you." "Save your abuse, save your abuse !" said the Weather-cock, speaking with his head, turned away ; " though I'm used to blows, they must be given in a round-about manner; and of all blows, the least 1 care about is a blow v?."—JMiss Sheridan's Comic Offering.

The Wine Merchant and the Coblek.—A poor cobler lived next door to a retail wine-seller, who, the better to draw the sous out of the pockets of his neighbour*, put up a splendid gilt sign, with the names of the most famous wines upon it at full length. Now, this was a terrible temptation to the cobler, who, however, the better resisted it, as he did not know how to read. But not content with the guilt sign, the wine-seller had two bunches of ripe, tempting grapes, painted to the life, and just beneath two goblets running over with wine, This was readable, and the poor cobler's mouth watered ; but at first it only watered. It was, however, in vain to resist, for he found himself every moment trying to find some excuse for turning his eyes towards his neighbour's shop, and at last in he goes. " Four sous can't kill a body," thought he, and two tumblers full of wine were soon under his jacket. So it was the next day, and the next, and the next; but one day he happened to have no money. '* So, neighbour," said the wine-seller, "you don't take a drop to-day ?" " Why, to tell the truth," replied the cobbler, " \ would if 1 had the change.'' " Never mind," said the wine-siller ; " come take a drink ; you can pay me some other time." But the cobler's paying time never came, and the wine-seller dunned him over and over again, and got nothing but promises; the cobler drinking every day as usual, " for it is a pity to lose so good a customer," thought the wine seller. Every body knows (which every body means all one s acquaintance) that on Sunday ail Parisians, high and low, dress in their best, and find amusement where they can. Now, our cobler's best suit was a grey coat with plated buttons, skyblue pantaloons, shining boots, and a white hat; and the merciless wincseller found means to get the latter, .together with the grey coat with plated buttons, into his possession, and swore that he would not give them up until he was paid every Sous. The cobler prayed, begged, entreated him to release them but for that day, for he had contracted to dance the first cotillion with his sweetheart, and was engaged to dine at his cousin's, but it would not do ; the wine-seller bade him go about his business, which the cobler literally did, for he went home and began to work and sing with all his might, to drown the noise of his neighbour's violin; and at night he went to bed as melancholy as any cobler in Paris. " Revenge is sweet," says the proverb, and our cobler awoke the next morning as gay as ever, for he had thought cf a way to revenge himself. He threw out before his door some bits of bread, which his neighbour's fowls very kindly picked up. The next day the same thing, with the same success, and the third and fourth days the fowls were willing to enter his shop, and to save him the trouble of feeding them without. No sooner ail within, than the fowls were prisoners, and the cobler fell to work and filled a pillow case with feathers, which he plucked clean off the poor creatnres, one by one, and then sent them perishing home, naked as they were born. One sleeps well on a good conscience, but the cobler found his pillow of revenge quite as soothing, for he slept soundly upon it. The wine-seller however soon wakes him with a loud knocking— *• Halloa, neighbour, somebody has been plucking my fowls, and they say they were seen coming out of your shop." »' Play,' neighbour,

who told you so?* said the cobler. " Why, the apple-woman and baker's wife." " They are right," said the cobler. " May I presume to ask who plucked my fowls?" asked the wine-seller. "No presumption at all," replied the cobler; " you may ask." " And can you tell me who plucked them 1" " Nothing easier, /did it." | "What, you?" "Yes." " And may I ask why you took the liberty of undressing my fowls?'' "Certainly you may, and 1 will answer. You must know that for something less than a Week your fowls have lived at my expense, without paying me a sous, and that is the reason why I undressed them, as you call it. When 1 get pay for my bread, they shall have their feathers. l ' " But this is horrible cruelty," said the wine seller. " Not more so than undressing me last Sunday'* said the cobler. *' But whaj have you done with the feathers ?'' " Mad e a capital pillow." "Then I'll sue you,'' said the wine-seller. "Do as you please," replied the cobler; and how the suit will end, nobody not even the lawyers. — Albany Daily Advertiser.

A Foolish Custom s*proved.— Sir Gilbert Heathcote being one night in company with the minister, Sir Robert Walpole, at his house, and being asked what he would like for supper, made free to mention beef steaks and oyster sauce. After supper an hour or two was spent in conversation, over a glass of good wine : at last Sir Gilbert rose to bid his friend good-night; but irt passing into the hall, he found it lined with the liveried servants of the minister, to whom he now turned and asked, " Pray, Sir Robert, be so good as to point out Which of these I am to pay for my beef steak 1" Sir Robert, taking the hint, gave the signal for the servants to withdraw immediately. I Design in Dogs,—A friend of mine, while shooting wild-fowl with his brother, was attended by a sagacious Newfoundland dog. In getting near some reeds by the side of a river, they threw down their hats, and crept to the side of the water, where they fired. They soon after sent the dog for their hats, one of which was smaller than the other. After several attempts to bring them both together in iris asi at last pi'a ler hat in the larger one, pressed it down with hi<- foot, and thus brought them both together. This fact need not be doubted. These individuals have both at, different times assured me of its truth, /knew an instance somewhat similar. A spaniel was endeavouring to bring a dead hare to his master. After several ineffectual efforts to carry it in his mouth, or to drag it along, he contrived to get all the feet of the hare in his mouth, and in this way conveyed it to his master. A gentleman of my acquaintance witnessed the following occcnrrence :—He was shooting one day by the side of a hill, attended by a keepei, and shot at and wounded a hare, which ran through one of several holes made at the bottom of a stone wall. The keeper sent a favourite old retriever after the hare. The dog jumped over the wall, caught the hare, and returned with it in his mouth to the Wall; but, after several attempts, was unable to jump back again with his additional load. Giving up his ineffectual efforts, the dog was seen to push the hare with his ,nose as far as he could through one of the holes at the bottom of the wall. He then leapt over it, dragged the hare through the hole on the other side, and brought it to his master. From the high spot on which the patties stood, they Were able to witness the whole of the dog's proceedings, which certainly appear to have been caused by some faculty beyond mere instinct.— From Jesse's Cleanings in Natural History.

Lord Mansfield. —A literary friend ot' tins noble* man applied to hira for materials for a biographical record, wishing, as he said, to pe petuate the memory of so great a luminary of the firitiih law. His Lordship's answer was, " My success in life i» not very reroarkab'e ; whatever powers naiute gav» me I was enabled to cultivate ; my father was a man of rank and fashii n, and early in life I was introduced into the best company, where my circumstances permitted me to support the elaiacter of a man of rank and fashion, and to these oitenmstances I chiefly owe my success in life. But if you wish to write the life of a truly great man, take that of the late Lord Hardwicke. He was indeed a wonderful character, lie became Loid Chancellor of England merely by his virtues, abilities and learning. His father was an obscure attorney, and his grandfather an humble peasant'" Such was tht» noble raind of Lord Mansfield,the victim of factious persecution.