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Odds and Ends.

AN INTELLIGENT MAID. Ejy|B,S. NEWWED (at dinner): 'Mandy, § Njf J why do you serve nutcrackers with the turkey?' Mandy : ' Well, yo' done tole me to stuff de turkey wif chestnuts.'' AT THE ALTAR. Officiating Clergyman: 'Do you, Adolphus, take this woman ' Bride (interrupting indignantly): ' Lady! Who are you calling a woman ?' AT THE CLUB. M. : ' Why do you always refer to your 1 valet as your ' retainer' ?' N.: 'Because he always keeps everything he finds.' NONE FOR HIM. Jones: ' You see, ho marriod her because he was given to understand she had a hun* dred thousand pounds.' . Brown : ' Ah, yes 1 And she had not got it after all ?' Jones: ' Oh, yes, she had I And she has got it yet—that's the trouble !' . A GOOD REASONMr Jackson : 'W'y am Sam Johnsing so down on golf?' Mr Whitewash :•'W'y, it's like disi Befo' his wife learned golf, she used ter hit him on de haid wif a' pokah. Now she kin only swing an Undah-han' stroke, an-' so she hits hirh on de x 'shins.' MUTUAL / ' Why are you for ever bothering me about the bill I owe you,??; -asked an indignant debtor. . '*■:-■ - : v-t >■■_*■> ' Because I neod the mdhey,' said the patient creditor. '•.-'•^. ' Then you ought to be-able to sympathise with me,' retortedfthe debtor, «'fqr I need the money too P'Vi'iv'r •■'".'■:.■ " '

Permanent link to this item
Hononga pūmau ki tēnei tūemi

https://paperspast.natlib.govt.nz/newspapers/AHCOG19041027.2.37

Bibliographic details
Ngā taipitopito pukapuka

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 445, 27 October 1904, Page 7

Word count
Tapeke kupu
223

Odds and Ends. Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 445, 27 October 1904, Page 7

Odds and Ends. Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 445, 27 October 1904, Page 7

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