SHORT STORY.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 440, 22 September 1904, Page 7

SHORT STORY.

by special akbaxgemext), Conducted Duel.

BY CUTLIFFE HYNE,

[COPYRIGHT.]

THE five gentleman in black were arranging the preliminaries of an orderly' fin de siecle' duel. Captain Kettle came upon them quite unexpectedly. Captain Owen Kettle had left the little French seaport far behind him. The noise of the mixed nationalities working cargo on the Sultan of Borneo, and the rattle of her winches, had faded from his ears. And he was giving his brain an afternoon's holiday from' all thoughts of crew-driving, percentages for pace, owners' secret instructions, and in fact from every matter in the least connected with natural commerce. He had turned his heels on wharves and cranes and brokers' offices, and was walking out over the sand dunes for the purpose of communing with Nature. Such lapses from the routine of his life were rare to him, and sweet accordingly. g A man who has only three hours in the country per annum, can skim the cream ol its beauties without gathering so much as a hint that discomforts lurk beneath. The land birds, tho whispering tufts of the grass, the yellow curves of the dunes all appealed to him. In his eyes they were new, and full of strange"beauty ; and they awoke in him the mood poetical. His brain simmered with the commencement ol sonnets. His lips were puckered into a noiseless whistle, as his thoughts set themselves to music. Even the sight of the duellists and their escort did not bring him to earth all at once." They had met in a shallow valley of the sand, these five men, where they were ringed in by the grass-tufted mounds. A hundred yards away, Kettle was ignorant of their very existence. He walked up the slope of a dune, and saw them beneath him as black marks against a sunlit background. If they had held their tongues, even then he would have passed on his way only dimly conscious of the rencontre. But they took a very sure way of bringing him back to earth fro"m his poetical soarings. They bade him with shouts and screams to go—to run away—to vanish. And when he gazed back on them, unanswering, they were foolish enough to add threats. A change came over the little red-bearded man on the sky-line above them. He blinked his eyes a time or two, and seemed to grow more compact. He put a cigar between his teeth, bit off the end, and lit it. The men in black repeated their threats, raised weapons, and cried out that they were five to one. Captain Kettle put one hand behind his loins, puffed cheerfully at the cigar, and walked down the slope of the dune towards them. He kept his eyes on the group as he walked, and at a dozen paces whipped out a long-barrelled revolver with the dexterity of an expert. Then he dropped it lightly into his right-hand jacket pocket. •And now,' said he, in fluent and ungrammaticai French, ' let's have no more ef this foolish talk. Hit comes to shooting, I can snip the buttons off any of your coats without cutting tha cloth.' 1 But, monsieur, you arc intruding.' •I hear you say it,' retorted Kettle. •Docs any of you gentlemen possess a park?' There was a pause, and then a short, stout man, who exhaled a faint odour of frangipanni, said: ''None of us here is so fortunate. But my uncle does, monsieur, if that will help you.' 1 Quite so. And may I ask, sir, if this place where we are standing now is your uncle's park?'

•Certainly not.. It is, so far as I know, common land. • Then there you are,' said Captain Kettle, and he sat down on a tuft of grass. 1 1 am not tresspassing, and as it suits me to look on at your show, here I stay till it is over. I never had a chance before of seeing how a regular kid-glove-law-and-order duel was fixed up. So wade in, gentlemen, as soon as you like. Don't let me hinder you any longer.' The five men in black seemed to be of different opinions. They were collected in three little groups. • As a medical man, monsieur, and a noncombatant ' began the one in the tall hat, who stood by himself. •This intrusion, monsieur, upon our right?—' said the fat, black-muzzled man whose uncle bad a park. ' You are a stranger universed in the customs of France, monsieur—' began the tall, tired-looking, man in the spectacles and the baggy clothes. 'A stranger?' said Kettle, jumping up and taking off his hat. ' Oh, if that's what the trouble's about, we'll be through with it in two shakes. My name is Owen Kettle, and I'm master of the steamship Sultan of Borneo, now loading in your portyonder. Very glad to see any of you

gentlemen on board, if you'll come and have a glass of whiskey with me after this little affair is over.' The five men in black bowed at different angles, and the two pairs consulted together anxiously. Finally, the man with the tall hat, who stood alone, laughed in rather a strained sort of way, and took upon himself to speak, 1 Time is moving,' he said. ' I fancy you gentleman had better get to work if you do not wish to be interrupted. M'sieur,' he added to Kettle, 'you have stumbled upon the most celebrated duel of the year. You will have scon it spoken of every day during this last week in the papers.' * Unfortunately, I never read them,' said Captain Kettle. ' Let's see, sir, your name is, er you said ' 'l,'said the man in the tall hat, drily, ' am merely on the ground as surgeon; so humble an individual, that my poor name is not worthy of remembrance. But in the two principals here, I have the honour to present to you Monsieur Camille Legrand, member of the Chamber of Deputies' (here i the stout man bowed) ' with his second, who is likewise a politician, and also to Monsieur Creve, editor of the ' Mot de - Paris.' The tired-looking journalist with the spectacles nodded, and Kettle said he. was very pleased to make his acquaintance. ' A man who has printed in his filthy paper the most unwarrantable insults about me,' observed M. Legrand, bitterly. ' I have nothing to retract,' said the journalist. 'Truth is frequently unpalatable to scoundrels.' ' Presently, Monsieur Englishman, you will see this hireling liar screaming for pardon/ spluttered Legrand. The lean journalist began to say something about ' a scared pig who lived on what he thieved from widows and ragpickers,' but the two seconds intervened, and insisted that their principals should desist. It was most unseemly that they ehould blurt out their differences upon the ground. It was against all the laws of the dual's efciauetta. Captain Kettle was rather sorry. He

loved to hear a good quarrel and to watch the ensuing fight. But he did not interfere. There was something about this disagreement which he did not understand. Words had been spoken, and still the weapons had not been levelled. Instead, two disinterested assistants busied themselves with a measuring tape. And in the background, the sardonic doctor, with an instrument case bulging his pocket, picked at the petals of a pink sea daisy with a botanist's interest.

The seconds measured the ground twenty times before they found a range to suit them, and M. Creve meanwhile (through force of habit) made notes of current events upon a paper block. But at last two positions were found equally advantageous as regards sunlight and background, and two pegs were driven into the sand to mark them.

•Twenty-three yards!' exclaimed Captain Kettle in admiration. 'By James, you gentlemen must be lovely shots or you wouldn't risk missing one another over such a distance as that. Or perhaps it is rifles you aro going to fight with?' he added, tentatively. M. Legrand breathed hard as though he were going to say something, but changed his mind, and only sent over a faint puff of frangipanni by way of reply. And after a pause, as no one else seemed inclined to speak, the doctor took upon himself to reply: 1 Monsieur,' he said, gravely,' wo employ pistols for our duels here, so cleverly fabricated, that with due care they always give the result we wish for.' He lifted bis hat courteously as he spoke, and Captain Kettle returned the salute. Tho little Englishman did not quite understand what had been said to him, but concluded that the fault lay with his own imperfect knowledge of the language. He could not holp noticing, however, that the two duellists and their seconds did not appear to like the doctor's explanation. Indeed, the journalist started as though he had been pricked by a pin. But tho ground was marked out; it was time for the seconds to place their men : and the side issue was swamped by the main interest of the meeting. The principals took their stand beside the little pegs, tho doctor set off at a brisk walk at right angles to the proposed line of fire, and the seconds set about extracting weapons and ammunition from a mahogany box. But at that moment Captain Kettle's attention was drawn elsowhoro. A hail camo from behind him, a formal command to surrender. He turned and looked up, and on the rim of the dunes above saw a couple of beautifully spick and span gondarmes, with authority on their faces and swords at their hips. The retreating doctor halted and lit a cigarette: the four men in the valley of the sand stood as if they were frozen; and the representatives of the Law advanced with wooden looks and without hurry. They were perfect creatures of routine. But of a sudden a change came over the group, quick as a scene in a harlequinade; a dust of sand rose in a cloud which slightly obscured the view; and when the air was clear again, there was one of the beautiful gendarmes face-downwards on the ground with Captain Kettle astride of his shoulders, whilst the= other stood dazed, like a man waking out of a bad dream, with his eyes converging upon the muzzle of Captain Kettle's revoh'er. 'Now,' said Kettle to the duellists, but without turning his head, ' wade in, gentlemen, and get your shooting over. I'll see you are not interfered with.' There was no reply. 'By James!' said Captain Kettle, ' you'd better put a bit of hurry into it, or some of these beauties' friends will be coming to look for them, and I can't guarantee to keep the whole of France off the promises.' ' We are interrupted !' said the politician. 4 We have been betrayed ! It is a device of this loathly newspaper man to escape my vengeance.'

' Well start in right now, you goat, and murder him,' said Captain Kettle. << 1 You have baulked me now,' said Creve, bitterly; ' you have squirmed away from punishment with your usual trickery; but do not think you shall escape scot-free. I shall seek you again when this has blown over, and I shall leave my mark upon you.' ' Then, why in mischief's name don't you do it now ?' asked Kettle, sourly. ' You tall man in the spectacles, I'm speaking to you, What's stopping you? Why doesn't this fight go on ? By James, answer me ; or you'll have a new quarrel on hand to keep you warm.' 'This duel is stopped, sir,' said the journalist, 'because even for the sake of punishing this reptile I cannot consent to undergo a dozen years' imprisonment. And that is what it would entail. lam a known man, sir.' 'He flatters himself,' sneered M. Legrand. ' Not ten people who see daylight have even heard of him outside his little garret office.' 'And yet,'retorted the journalist, 'the animal who has just spoken complained that I have made Franco ring with his name. If you know anything at all about the circulation of the various Paris newspapers, sir ' ' I don't,' said Kettle, ' and I don't want to. I dropped in here this afternoon to see shooting, and I've heard nothing but talk. And if you want my opinion of the pair of you, it's here, packed, small: One of you's frightened, and t' other darn't.'

'Sir!' shouted both of the duellists, for once in their lives agreed. 4 Oh, that wakens you, does it ?' said Kettle. ■ Well, then, see here. I'm in a way frown to be interested in this scuffle, and i'll make you this offer: give the whole thingi over into my hands, and I'll see it throigh so that it shall be an affair a man can l*e proud of afterwards; or refuse, and go away with your tails between your legs, and ffll bill-post half France, to tell everyone that can read you're a pair of sheepcowards. Come now, there you have it.'

31. Legraud listened uhmoved, but tlie tall nian in the spectacles flushed. ' Sir.' he said, 'you'd better have a care for your words.' ' Sir,' retorted Kettle, ' I allow my vocabulary to-be overhauled by no man .living.' 'Then, sir,' said the journalist, 'you will force nie to call you to account for your language.' ' I shall be entirely at your disposal,' said Kettle grimly, ' after I have seen you stand up to this gentleman here who carries the scent. But not before. I have ah objection to fighting with anyone who might turn out to be a woman in disguise.' ' That, sir,' said the journalist, ' is quite sufficient. You islanders are eccentric, but you will find out that eccentricity may J sometimes cost you dear. I accept your i condition of arranging my duel with M. | Legrand merely for the sake of being able I to shoot you afterwards.' 'Monsieur,' said Captain Kettle, 'you | are a man that I am beginning to like. j And now, M. Legrand, you have heard ; what has been said. Are you willing to ! chip into this tea party, or are you going to i shuffle away back to your eating and drinki ing at Paris, and let me kick you before | you go?* M. Legrand shook his cheeks. 'You English pig,' he cried, 'I will come. You shall watch me kill the liar. j Crove, and then yon shall suffer whilst I ! kill you also, slowly and frightfully.' 'Good,' said Kettle,' and looked at his r watch. ' This is getting more like business,

and the sooner we are clear of this beach, I the less likely we are to find hitches. I've ordered steam for five o'clock, and it's fourthirty now. So we can march from here straight on board of my ship and be clear of pier heads in less than an hour's time. But in the meantime these gendarmes must be bottled, so that they can't interfere. Doctor, I'll trouble you for all your bandages.' (To be concluded next week.)