Housekeeper.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 440, 1 September 1904, Page 3

Housekeeper.

POLITENESS

IT is rather a favourable sign of character when we are willing to take on trust the experience of those who have gone before us; yet probably there have been many popular opinions in the world, taking even the stamp of proverbs, which like spurious coin, long passed current till the hour of detection arrived. First, they were suspected, and then rigidly examined, and proved to be worthless. Surely the notion that habitual politeness is more or less allied to insincerity of character is one of these fallacies. Those rough-natured people who insist on saying unpleasant things solely because they are- true, generally depreciate urbanity of manner and habits of courtesy. In season and out of season they clamour about ' deeds, not words,' as if good deeds and kind words were not in reality closely allied. We have said, in season and out of season, the phrase being an idiomatic expression for frequent occurrence; but probably the occasions are very rare when it is necessary to divorce kind words from kind deeds.

A good action, if performed in a kindly and gracious manner, is doubly valued; and in default of the power to render a service, words of sympathy are very sweet to one in trouble. Shakespeare, whose word we may take, says, ' Assume a virtue if you have it not;' and when lovers of harsh frankness scoff at the adage, they fail to fa'thom the depths of its moral teaching. If the darts of a hasty, and, therefore, probably an unfair judgment, and the fire of a quick temper, are constantly crushed down by habitual urbanity of manner, they lose a great deal of their harshness : for a moment's reflection may soften the judgment and cool the temper. At any rate they have not raised that spirit of antagonism which only produces evil. It has been truly said that ' politeness is the oil which allows thg wheels of society to turn easily,' and it is an aphorism worth bearing in mind. It may safely be said that the habit of politeness is a very subtle and fine thing ; and for it to last and wear well, and be as productive of happiness as it is capable of being, it must never be laid aside, even in the most intimate relations of ljfe ; nay, it is in them that it is most valuable. Children who in their nursery have been taught politeness—which is the outward sign of consideration for the feelings of others—have through life an advantage over their less fortunate contemporaries. They are liked by their elders—perhaps without much reasoning why—at the age when the good feeling of elders is most precious; and if 'they rise in the world, they bear about them that stamp of ' good-breeding ' which fits them for an exalted station. Brothers do not always- respect their sisters in the same sort of way as the true gentleman respects all womanhood : and girls- may he rude too, though this is generally from the want of a better example, Manners are very contagious, and possibly the feminine nature is a trifle more imitative than-that of man. Aflat contradiction, in which unmannerly people are rather apt to indulge, often provokes some equally harsh retort, while a real difference of opinion may be expressed in courteous language and gentle tones.