LITTLE TOMMY AND HIS FATHER

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 429, 11 August 1904, Page 2

LITTLE TOMMY AND HIS FATHER

They were at dinner. Little Tommy, who is rather of an inquiring turn of mind, had been gazing at his father's somewhat rosy countenance for some time. At last he said :

' Papa, what msksa your face and nose eo dre'f'ly red P' 'The East wind of course,' answered papa, rather hftßtily. •Do not talk so much. Thomas, and pass me the beer.' It waa then that a voice came from the other end of the table in driest tones, saying: 'Tommy, dear, pass your papa 'the east wind/ and be careful not to spill it on the clean cloth.'

• Was yonr elopement with Misa Goldberg a success P' * Hardly.' • What went wrong P' * Her father, the millionaire, Bent as a telegram saying,«Do not return, and all will be forgiven,'

' You're looking vary gloomy fco-d*y, Tomkina What's the matter P' 'M&tter! D i you knew Miss P&ssee, the old maid that Uvea down the way. Dawkinß told me she was engaged to him, bo just for the fun of the thing I went and proposed to her, and Bhe accepted me> and now I'm looking for Djtwkins.'

A woman living in Dublin has just been awarded ten guineas damages for a slanderous statement made about her conduct when she was a child eight yews of age. She is now forty-two years old.

Fully 90 per cent, of the railroad flagmen in the United States are one-legged men, and the same proportion of the men who grease the rails, at the curves of street railway linen have also lost a limb.

' It is. of course, possible for an unoonscions perßon to ba put into a coffin and buried,' Bays the ' British Medical Journal,' which adl« that in suoH a case death would be swift and without a struggle.