IN A BOARD SCHOOL

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 429, 11 August 1904, Page 7

IN A BOARD SCHOOL

Ooe day at school, says a school muster, I gave a boy a problem in algebra, and, although, it was comparatively easy, he could Bot do it I remarked—

* You ought to be aßhamed of yourself. At your age George Washington was a purveyor.

The boy looked me straight in the eyes and said—

• Yes, sir; and at your age he was President of the United States!'

In the days when pigtails were worn, a certain man in Dublin bad one, which occasionally stood ont so far that, when seated in church, it hung down into the pr-w behind him. It so happened that this pew was tenanted by a notorious practical joker, who, one Sunday, just as the priest was beginning to read the lesson from the Old Testament, fastened the intruding pigtail down to the pew. The lesson, which related to the story of Balaam and his ass, was being real in a very impressive manner:

'And Balaam said unto the ess, 'Because thou hast mocked me, I would there were a sword in my hand, for now would I kill thee.' And the ass said unto B tlaam'

' Man, will ye lave go of my tail ?'

A Walleall gentleman (writes ' Looker On') has been victimised by the very latest schema for defrauding unsuspecting householders. One morning a woman came to his front door and rang the bell ro violently that the wire snapped and left the knob hanging. She onlj wanted 3 bit of bread or a copper, sae said apologetically. A few minute* after she had gone away a seedy-looking man came to the door and offered to repair the bell, «hich, he said, he noticed in passing. As, hj waver, the gentleman had heard of the performance being repeated at other houses in the neighbourhood, he telephoned to the police, who saw both man and woman out of the borough boundary is less than half an hour.

Hother: * Willie, what's Tommy cryine forf 6

Willie: ' Only because he doesn't want to learn anything. I just took his sweets and showed him how to eat them, and he screamed.'