Yarieties,

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 429, 11 August 1904, Page 3

Yarieties,

THE COMEDIAN AS AUTHOB. K. G. Kncwles, who is at 5120P present wooisg the public in ~gj£?Jzt South Africa, has blossomed out

as an author in England His new book, « Of Storiea Just a Few,' is by no means a diah-up of the tales he tells so wall npon the stage, nor is it a mere expansion of the capital« Days of my Youth' article he once wrote The professional element is entirely absent, and there :a instead a collection of humour, philosophy, and travel notes that is refreshingly original, The key in which his handsome volume is composed is struck by the quaint dedication, ' Knowing that the Honour is Bestowed npon & Worthy Object, This Book is Insoribod (By Permisaio?) to Himself, by his Grateful and Admiring Fuand, the Author.' A postscript states that Mr Knowles could not persuade anybody else to accspt the dedication!

UNDEBBEED MEN,

Oae> of the difficulties that a well-bred girl has to encounter in the working world is the underbred man. He regards himself as an eligible parti, and suspects every girl he meets of having designs upon him He wears a conquering air that is highly disproportionate to his prowess in the Tournament of Oupid, and is altogether a ridiculous and despicable object.—' London Truth.'

LADIES AS JOBBING GAKDENEES.

There appears to be a decided opening for women in England who have a prac tical knowledge of gardening to obtain employment as jobbing gardeners. Miss E. L Chamberlain, of the London Women's Gardening Association, who is herself a jobbing gardener of thirteen years' standing, writing in 'Woman's Employment,' saya that ttiough it takes a little time t y form a connection, once this has been obtained a good living can ba made at the work.

She herself has openings for those competent. Most lady gardeners will not go in for this branch preferring nursery work and a country life,

MAX ORELL ON LOVE,

Sincere, serious love ia never love at first sight. When one look—and the first one, too! —binds a man and a woman, you may be eure that one siagle word will soon be sufficient to unbind them.

Lasting lova comas Blowly, progressively, Baauty is not ihs mother of love. On it is often love which engenders beauty—"gives to he eyes, gracefulness to the body, vibration" to the voice. Love is the sun that hatches the Sowers of the soul. The face, which reflects all the inner sentiments of the heart betrays the love of its owner, and is beautiful. Absence is a tonic for love only when men and women love with all their heart and soul. Whea they do not, the ancient proverb is still true : ' Far from the eyes, far from the heart.' FOR YOUR FARTHING CHANGE. Few people know that the reel of cotton, button-hook, tape-measure, aud other trifling attach s which the draper hands them in lieu of the farthing change are manufactured expressly for the purpose and bear an enormous profit—often SO per cent Acute tradesmen are greatly developing the system. One drapery firm now gives tiny bottles of scent, while an enterprising provision merchant has originated the idea of giving so-called 'gold* wedding tings, and those are in great vogue among 'dandy' eostere, engaged couples, and poor women who have long since had' to pawn their marriage ring.

HIS OWN TIUDE. A good story is told of the days when Sir Charles Gavan Duffy took a prominent part in Victorian politics. Oie of his brother members in the Melbourne Parliament was a wealthy but not too wellinformed butcher. The Chief Secretary of the day was deprecating the attitude of the leader of the Opposition, whose conduct was, he declared, worse than Nero's. 'Who was Neio ?' intejj j oted the knight of the cleaver, with equal scorn and sincerity. ' Who was Nero P' replied the delighted Chief Secretary, ' The honourable gentleman ought to know. Nero was a cele brated Roman butcher.' •I'M YOUeTaTHEB' Micky Doolan emigrated from Ireland, like so many of his fellow countrymen, for the happier clime of the United States. When he got there he managed to get a job as a labourer on a farm/and had a small patch o! ground and a hut alloted tohimßelf to life in. One morning he saw a batch of long-eared animals that did not ssem to him to be exactly horses, and certainly were too big for donkeys. ' And what may these be P' he asked the msn in charge of them. The man thought he tad an opportunity for a lark at Micky's expense. 'Mu'.es, to be sure; that's what they are,' said the man, and he added, 'D'ye, see these big eggs over there'—(they were water melons) —'we hatch them from theee. Yer sit on an egsr for three weeks, and out cornea a mule,' The Irishman seemed a wa.ter melon in the hope of hatching a mule from it, and saton it; but no mule was forthcoming. In a rage, he took the melon and hurled it to the bottom of his garden patch, where its startled a rabbit, and Micky seeing the long ears called out, 'Come back, ye baste! come back! I'm your father V