Page 2 Advertisements Column 2

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 426, 14 July 1904, Page 2

We are told that an American traveller who has beou to almost every quarter of the globe, on arriving at a certain South German town late one night at once proceeded to a hotel, and when writing hie name on the register a bed bag appeared and wandered slowly over its pages. The man of many bags paused in open wonder, and in a voice shaking with emotion said, * Well, by the eternal gods of war, I have been bled by loma fleas, bitten by Qwosso spiders, driven almost; to insanity by Saginaw jiggers, crawled over by Bay City razzlejacks, and interviewed by Lansing greybacks, but I'll ba dodgasted if this isn't the first place I was .ever in where bed bugs looked over the register to find out the number of my room One day, daring a provincial tour, Charles Mathews strolled into the Sessions House at Shrewsbury while a trial was going on. Presently en usher oame to him with the judge's compliments, to inquire if he would like a seat upon the bsneh. Either astonished, as he had no acquaintance with his lordship, Mathews followed his conductor, and was most effusively received. Relating the pleasing incident some years afterwards to a legal friend, he was commenting on the great kindness shown faim, when bis listener let the oat out of the bag- • I've heard the judge tell the story.' he said,' and I remember his saying: * I was so much frightened when I Baw that rascally Mathews in the court with his eyes upon me that I couldn't fix my thoughts upon the case, for I believed that he had come there for the purpose of imitating ma on the staga. So I thought it best to be civil to hi tn.'' Excited individual (with long hair, apparently a poet): 'Guard, I've been robbed I I left a paper parcel containing five poems on that Beat, and now it's gone!' Guard: ' Well, you can write 'em over „ain, can't you P' Excited individual: 'Yes; but there was a sandwich in the parcel, too!'