Yarieties.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 423, 2 June 1904, Page 7

Yarieties.

SILENT FOE FORTY YEARS. by a whipping he thought he did not; deserve, when <jggßl a boy of tea, Jerry Millter has not spoften a word for 40 years. He lives at a farmhouse in the wild regions of Ohio. Doctors are unable to find any mental defect in him.

POISON IN THE BLOUSE. A few days ago we had occasion to examine a piece of silk that formed the sleeve of a blouse which set op an acute irritation of .the Bkin. Analysis disclosed that the material was loaded with no less than 40 pes cent, of mineral matter, consisting, as further examination showed, of the/ oxides of aluminium and tin, with distinct traces of arsenic.— 5 The-Lancet.'

WHAT « SING A SONG OF SIXPENCE'

MEA.NS.

You all know this rhyme, but nave you ever heard what it really means P The four-and-twenty blackbirds represent the twenty-four hours. The bottom of the pie is the world, while the top crust is the sky that over-arches it. The open ing of the pie is the day dawn, when the birds begin to sing, and surely such a sight is fit for a king.

The king, who" is represented sitting in his parlour, counting out his money, is the sun, whila the gold pieces "that slip through his fingers are the golden sunbeams. The queen, wbo sits in the kitchen, is the moon, and the honey is the moonlight. The industrious maid, who is in the garden at woik before her king—the sun —has arisen is the day dawn, and the clothes she bangs out are the clouds. The bird who ends the song by nipping off her nose is the sunset. So we have the whole day, if not in a nutshell, in a pie. DON'T WORRY. The faces of the women one passes in the street form a curious and, too often, a saddening story, One woman purses up her lips, another screws her eyes iHto unaatnralness, while a third will wrinkle up her forehead and eyebrows until she looks absolutely ugly, The trick is an unconscious one, but it is none the lees a trick, and a bad one. There is no reason why a woman should look forbidding and bad-tempered just because she is annoyed ahout sometning, Deep-seated tronbl has a way of writing itself upon the face, whether we will or not. Sickness, too, has its own handwriting, and will not be concealed by art. But the frowH caused by superficial troubles should not 'be entertained by the face for an instant. We should strive ta look as pleasant as possibla for the sake of others; a corresponding oheerfulness of temperament will inevitably result, and always to the sweetening of eur natures. We cannot afford to go about with gloomy faces.

TO DRESS THE HAIR. The girl with the high forehead should wear her hair down low over the brow.

If one has a low, smooth, white brow, she should brash her hair well off the forehead.

A madonna face requires the hair parted in the middle. The girl with an intellectual brow or a fair share of youthful brauty can afford to draw her hair back in loose wave?, sans pompadour or parts, and coil it on the neck.

For elderly matrons the pompadour is dignified and stately, and it seems to increase the height of stout women. The round, shapely head looks well with a soft puff of hair at the nape of the neck. Every woman should study her own style. If she looks best with her hair low, then low Bhe should wear it, though every other woman in the land is piling her hair on the top of her head. A wise woman never curls or friezes or over-dresses her hair if it is beautiful of itself.

THE PBENCH MARQUIS AT HOME. The old nobility of Prance is at a low ebb in these Republican days, and the aristocratic names that have always figured in the list of adherents to the Bourbons have sunk very far down in the social scale. The familiar caricature of the 'Toilette de Monsieur le Marquis'representing a young man of distinguished appaarance in a garret with a sloping roof, and a broken-down bed in the oorner, curling his moustache before a triangular fragment of looking-glass that is propped up on the window-ledge—is by no means so extreme an exaggeration as many persons might suppose. The Marquis at home is indeed a strange figure. He is a curious mixture of prodigality and economy; he indulges in luxuries, and often lacks necessaries} there are objects of art in his room, though there may be but one chair, and that a broken one; he may hardly possess a change of clotheß, but those he has are of the finest cloth, the most delicate cambric; his whole lite is, in (short, made up of extremes, striking incongruities, and contradictions. Grafted on the lofty aristocratic nature and manner is a sturdy shoot of prudence and economy.

RULES. First, remember that a good voice is essential to eeli-posseEsion as good ideas are essential to fluent language. The voice should be carefully trained and developed. A fall, clear, flexible voice is one of the snrest indications of good, breading. Second, remember that one may be witty without being popular, volnbls without being agreeable, a great talker and yet a great bore. Third, be sincere. One who habitually sneers at everything not only renders oneself disagreeable to others, but will soon cease to find pleasure in life. Fourth, be frank, A frank, open countenance and a clear, cheesy laugh are wcsth far more even socially than 'pedantry in a stiff cravat,' Fifth, be amiable. You may . hide a vindictive nature under a polite exterior for a time, as a oat masks its sharp claws in velvet fur, but the least provocation beings out one as quickly as the other, and ill-natured people are always disliked. Sixth, be sensible. Society never lacks for fools, and what you consider very entertaining nonsense may Boon be looked upon as very tiresome folly.

A FABLE OF THE PRESENT.

Upon a certain occasion two Rogues sit out to travel. Coming upon a Peasant hoeing by the roadside, the pair saluted him with profound respect, and one of them remarked:

8 My friend here iB a rather good fel'ow at heart, bat somewhat given to greed and conceit. Juet now as we came aloßg he was boasting that he could easily drink two whole gallons of sweet milk at once. I deny that it can be done, and am sure you will agree with me.' ' I don's believe he can do it,' replied the Peasant; i* not unless he is a reservoir on legs.* 'Bat I'm sure I could,' insisted the second Traveller. • Indeed, if chance c flared, I believe I could drink three gallons.' ' If you have Bweet milk at hand, I pray you to aid me in proving my friend a boaster/ said the first of the Rogues to the Pea a at, 'I do not wish to separate from him, and yet I dislike to travel with a braggart, It will not be long before he will boast that he can eat a bushel of apples at once.'

' I have the milk, and we will make the test,' answered the Feasant, and he invited them to his hut, and brought out a jar filled to the brim. The Eigne lifted up the vessel and drank his fill, when ha could hold no more his companion exclaimed:'

'ls it not as I said 9 He boasted of two gallons, but he has imbibed hardly a quart.' ' But I defy thee to .do better,' said the one who had drunk.

'I will not say that I can, but I will do my test.' Thereupon Number One took his turn and drank his fill, and it was decided that neither had the advantage. Having played their little game they were moving away, when the Peasant said: ' Don't be in a hurry, as the performance is only half over. Dost neither of jou feel a strange taste in the mouth P* ' Alas, I do,' said Number One, after smacking his lips, ' And so do I,' added Number Two.

«'Tis the 'rough on rogues ' I mingled with the milk. I keep a bottle on hand for just such emergencies. There will be no charge for the milk, but it will cost you two shillings each for the antidote. My terms are cash on the nail. No cash, no antidote.'

Wealth may not always bring happiness, bat a great many of us would be willing to take it on trial.

' Misery likes com'ny, don't it P' ' Yes; but wben I see.it comin 5 , dat's do day I don't feel sociable.'

If you a reputation as a keen adviser, out what the other fellow wants to do, and then tell him to do it. The trouble with some people is that they allow themselves to be discouraged by criticism, and the trouble with others is that they do not, Tie King has ordered that all the servants at Windor Castle shall have a week's holiday every year, with pay as usual ' • _ •

The average temperature of a tree is under 50 deg. Fahrenheit, as against the 98 deg. of the human body. Fiji Chief: ' Let me tell you, sir, that yoar contradiction of my statement has saved your life.' Missionary: 'Savedmy life? How is that, sir ?' Fiji Chief: 'Why, I never eat anything that I know disagrees with me.' ' I suppose,' said a sympathising neighbour, 'that you will erect a handsome monument to your husband's memory ?' 'To his niemoryP' eohoed the tearful widow. 'Why, poor John hadn't any. I was sorting over some of his clothes he left to-day, and found the pockets full of letters I had given him to post.'

1 1 thought you hated Jask, and yet you have accepted Mm.' * I did hate hint, but when he proposed it was raining. I had on a new hat. He had the umbrella.'