Ways of Living.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 422, 19 May 1904, Page 2

Ways of Living.

THE MODERN BILL SIKEB.

&|%HEBE are two distinct types of jjfv(jj burglar. One is the skilled and SftLs practised 'cracksman,' or ' screwsman '; the other is known as the 'casual buster.' The 'casual buster' is just an idle, good-for-nothing wastrel who is willing to lend a dishonest countenance to any scheme cf rascality that promises to be profitable. Bat he is a clumsy bungler, and the odds are he will be caught. Not bo the skilled ' screwsman.'

He is a horse of a different colour; intelligent, keen-witted, alert of every sense, diabolically ingenious, and fall of resource, finely is this type of burglar caught red-handed, He almost invariably gets away with his booty quite safely. He is often caught, of course; but that is afterwards, when he is oft his guard, For it is a perverted love of adventura which impels him to his lawless mode of life. He nas the vaaity of the artist; he likes to see bis work acknowledged in the public press. And there is always a chance of a grand coup. The skilled burglar is usually a small man, but tough as pia-wire, and something of an athlete too. He has a cool, clear brain, unfaltering nerves, and a steady hand, three very necessary qualifications.

His favourite 'crib' is a good middleclass dwelling—or 'Bhat,'as he calls itsituated somewhere in the outlyisg suburbs of a big town. The reasons for his preference are various. In the first place, houses in rural districts usually have fields or waste ground in their vicinity; where he can hide his tools in readiness a day or two before he needs them j and afterwards, if advisable, hide the swag. For he will not, if he can help it, be seen carrying a bag either on the day of the robbery or on the day following. The fact would be remembered, and his description promptly circulated. Next, these houses are generally poorly protected. In front they may have mortiselocks, spring shutter-bars, upright bare, bolts, chains, and night-latches. But at the back the defences are most elementary. And it is from the back that our burglar prefers to make his attack. Moreover, there are fewer police. Let us BS3ume that our burglar has selected fife 'chat,' He has possiblj ob-

Mr Sliptongue: 'lhave not met your wife. Is she here this evening f*

Mr Hansome; 'Yes; but just at this moment she is engaged over there at the piano,' Mr Sliptongue, with affected enthusiasm : »Ah, I see! She is that goddesslike beauty who is playing an aocompaniment for the mountain of flesh who is sinking.' Mr Hansome, st'flly: 'My wife does not play; she sings.'

Mr Bacon: 'By means of an ingenious instrument, the hydroacope, the human eyesight can penetrate the ocean depths and clearly distinguish objects over a mile below the surface.' Mrs Bacont 'Now look out for some startling new fish stories.'