Social Moods.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 422, 19 May 1904, Page 7

Social Moods.

SEASIDE LANDLADIES.

SfJfflppLL sorts of odd things happened to me on my tour. I never hid a 3f£362 queerer summer holiday in my life. It wasn't entirely a holiday, either, because all the time I had to keep my eyes open for 'copy,' I surprised everybody, too, by the shortness of my stay at each place. I'd turn up on a Monday afternoon, for instance, engage lodgings (or a room in a hotel or boarding-house), and then en the Wadday calmly announce to my amazed landlady that I was moving on next morning. Generally, the landladies w ra frankly and unfeignedly offended. 'Was I diseatified with the accommodation or the food P' they'd inquire in aggrieved tones. I invariably said that I was delighted (I'm a bit of a< fibber sometimes.) Consequently I almost always left the ladies in a modified condition. They generally showed their appreciation of my politeness by doubling my bill. That's a detail at which I can afford to smile. I notice that women j are always better at bargainmaking than men. That is why landladies prefer male lodgers to feminine. Men give much leas trouble than women, and, moreover, humbly allow themselves to be ' put upon' (in the landladies' own language).

They give less trouble, I say advisedly. If the toast in the morning is stale, they munch it submissively, and wash it down with half-cold tea, rather than trouble to ring the bell and fac6 the landlady's scorn.

G-itlp, oa the other hand, are far leas timid. They've paid for 'board and lodging,' and board and lodging they insist on having at its very best. They tug at the bell, order fresh toast, send the trembling slavey for boiling water, and end by having a fairly respectable repast. They get it at a price, though—the price of an electrically charged and there* fore highly thunderous atmosphere dnring the whole of their aojourß. They don't seem to mind, though. Now to a man this would be misery. Met daily by the scowling of the slavey and the muttered grumbles of the landlady his holiday would be ruined. Bather than this constant friction, he will put up with any amount of discomfort, and finish by assuring his bland hastess that he will recommend her house and table to his friends. At least, that's bow I always used to do, coward that I am. There's no doubt that seaside landladies prefer male boarders to girls. I asked several, and they all told the same tale. ' Give me nice, kindly bachelors,' one of them said. And my heart throbbed with pride. ' Bachelors are the customers for me!'

♦ Why P' I asked—inadvisedly, I fear. 1 Beoause they never question the items in the bill,' she responded promptly. Then Bhe smiled. ' They may be business men when they're in the City,' she added, ■but they leave their cheapness behind them when they come to the seaside. • But it's married couples I dislike most,' she went on. 'Nothing would induce me to take any married couple into my house. The husbands I don't mind. They'd give no trouble at all if left to themselves; indeed, they're positively meeker than bachelors. Yes, meeker than bachelors, even 1'

The very notion of anybody meeker than a bachelor seemed to amuse her largely. I began to fidget. .This woman wbb painfully plain in her statements. Bat she continued unpitjringly:' • Married couples give me and my maids more work than double the number of unmarried people,' she continued. ' Why P Because they're, so fastidious about each other's comfort. The wife will insist on

obtaining everything of the very beat for her husband. He mast have freah eggs for breakfast, a glass of milk at eleven, special medicated olaret at lunch, and bo on Whether he gets things so wonderfully good when he's at home 1 doubt. No, I don't believe—-* 'Bat surely,' I interrupted, 'it's very nice to see married folks so fond of each otherP It restores one's faith in the innate goodness of human nature.' •XTrnphl' She shook her head and sniffed, «All put on—all put on. They bother the life out of me. Why P 'Causa they've nothing else to do, poor things. Baing at the seaside, they see much more of each other than usual; and they've got to kill time somehow, pretending they're anxious for each other's happiness.' Sha continued to pour out the rials of her.iynieal wrath on the unconscious heacd of married seasiderß. Bat I didn't listen. I preferred my own theories of weldei bliss. Now that I come to think of it, I'm rather glad that landladies diaiike married couples. It speaks well for tbe couples.