Humour.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 421, 12 May 1904, Page 7

Humour.

Ethe):> p&£f but if ydu are burdened with a palace, don't be backward .on that account.' ■"'•• --''#s V 11 iiii'n.iii '.-' •>''• %SS' ' ' &■ Oaßej: 'Thi' {Digger Indians 1 is* ta'ot ignorant they can't count above niree.' • - s&j£k§sisy « ' Well, thot's some coasolatioa 'mms3 hov a large family uv children'

i&mtxa Minks: «I to make a scene, but thjU-ntan over there* is staring at me very offensively?? 'A ■ .---*' .'{&. Mr MinksJl '& isj|ia# I'll «p%k to him.' i , SfJ . ' ' ■ £jg| ; Mrs Mtsks he apologize p* . Mr |links: . • Y-e-s 5 he said he was looking for his'•'mother,* and thought at first thiit yourwere she.' «•> Widower: 'Your bill is* Something fearful. After yonhave doctored my wife to death, you expect me to pay you an enormous bill.' ."'•;■:, "■-:.-:'■.■ , -;

Doctor: "• That's.Just expected, you to jiay. '"SuchWthihgf as gratitude an longer Exists in this world.' ** '^ f JJittle Harold j -/Jk wish you-were'my - :i-g: ■-: jfjj W 3Ehe Nurse W Why, de&r P' Little Harold: ' 'Cause you're so disjH||e wurse: *-But why that \JQUwamt me for your mammaif'' IPBiittS Harold: 'Well, then, I wouldn't hardly^ever Bee you any more, and I could. stand |P; '. ■//'" ■*?? • Summe3p%s?d|eß:"i , 'vertisemerit said sbmethingabbut boating f' 5 Farmert 'Oh- '■js§i& :*W»<:-have ; a boat j and oars, only sometimes the streivm dries Schcjplmaster (to small boy):"'Now, Tommy, how many days are there in a wee-Mf"'-'"-•• ■ " • Tommy: ' Please, sir»veight,' jv *i Schoolmaster: ' How 'dbyouimake.thatoutP' f Tommy,;.. \ father haß an eight-day clock, and he winds it up once a week.*-. . . ' - ; - v

She s '*l knojsroae womaa in this street has been-off ©ring - to,bet she.knoWs one woman who'fyon')!' getfii fr new .-hafefithis: summer.' .■'He'":' ' Indeed P Does she knowyowP' j .Shut*'Yesi, eho Ipows m|, and I'm the,one she means.?' ~Hej ' AhJ* She must kriow rde too/ '* 5 " f " r *

" Joe: * Did you hear about the joke Miss Cruahleighplaye^jajjpnjomjg HiggiasP' Fred i «No, frigid mit ?' Joe:! 'Worse than thafe, She married him. *