Humour.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 415, 28 April 1904, Page 7

Humour.

•So they have had their first quarrel P' 'Yes. She says she is dreadfully disappointed in him.' v s • For what reason P*.

'She discovered,that all those lovely, things he quoted from Omar Khayyam weren't original/ . ,

Watts: « There is ho . suoh thing as telling the quality of whisky by the taste ' in these days, ia there P' Luahfiorth: ? No. The only taste is the feel.' : . 'The feel f * Yes. And yon have to wait until the next morning.for that.' /

'How far is it to the nearest publichouse, hoy P' , "Alt si, moile there, sir, an' fowr moile back again',' r ' ; ' Why, how can that be ?' , 'Well, thatbewpi fayther says, any'ow, when 'e be a-comin' 'ome diary loike.'

• ' Why is it that wealthy people become so cold and cynical P' . '.They don't' necessarily,' answered Mr Oamrox, • They have their enthusiasms. The trouble ia that a rich man can't admire anything without being solicited to buy it.*

Rector's Wife (to village .grocer): 'Well,'l hope'that you like the new curate f'

Grocer: ' Yes, ma'am,! thank you, we like him very well '—pause—' not, however, that I think he's as fluent as we had a right to expect, seeing as his father was an auctioneer,'

Barnes.: 'l'm afraid I'm losing my mind. When I borrow money from any of my friends I'm sure to forget all about

Howes: 'Why, that is no aigh of mental decline. Ontheoontrary.it shows a fine business capacity.' . Barnes: 'But'l, also forget when a friend owes me something.' ■ - « Howes: 'That's all right. That's tact' Her Fathers • What do yo'fo' a libbin', Mistah Jonsiag f Her Admirer: * I pick: winnahs, sah.* Her Father:' 'Golly T ?Bufc»do jaf v-fael shore > jo's gob *i»&3ffl§