Sketches

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 413, 14 April 1904, Page 7

Sketches

QUEER LAWS*. SSUIT of clothes, half of •which was yellow, and half brown, was at one time enacted to be worn ...,, bj 811 bankrupts in Scotland until they had paid their debt. Naturally, an unfortunate man was thus so handicapped by the fact that everyone could see that he was insolvent that he never had the remotest chance of even making a living. It was only in 1836 that this absurd law was finally repealed. Even to-day there are in existence a number of Acts of Parliament which are the cause of cruel injustice. An unfortunate pedlar was recently brought up in a London court, charged with selling goods without a license. Ha explained to the magistrate that he could not obtain a licence, owing to his having been some years before sentenced to a term of penal servitude. The man produced evidence to the fact that he hsd run perfectly straight ever since his release, and the magistrate discharged him. ‘ But/ he added, ' I cannot grant you a license to peddle, and you must find soma other method of earning a livelihood.*

Before the Daemster at Peel,.lsle of Man, a labourer was recently charged with leaving his master before he had completed the year of service for which he had engaged himself. It appeared that, by the unrepealed Statute of 1655, he waß liable, for this offence, to be sent to prison, and kept there on one cup of water and one cake of bread a day until he returned to woik. In other words, he was to be slowly starved into compliance. Luckily for the man in this case, he was found not guilty, and discharged. A gentleman residing at Clapham C jmmon recently erected a small summerhouse in his garden a little structure jaet big enough to seat three people. Hj at once received a notice from the town clerk of Bat ersea, ordering him either to take out a license for it or to pull it down. He based his demand upon section 84 of the London Building Act of 1894 The law gives to the hire-furnisher the power to act as a cruel bully. Last winter, a young fellow who lived at Stockwell was driven by his wife's illness to sell his furniture, which be had bought upon the hire-purchase system. Unluckily, there were among the things sold two chairs and a table-cloth, the purchase of which had not been completed. Immediately the hire, furnisher came down with threats of the law.

The man pleaded for a little time. It was oniy a matter of a couple of sovereigns, and his friends had promised to get up a ' benefit' for him. But the furniture man refused to wait, and the unlucky victim got six weeks' hard labour, while his wife and child were left to atarve, or go to the workhouse. Fortunately, some charitable people came to the rescue, and savad them from this dreaded fate.

The wealthy water companies make use of the law for their own ends. When a householder is unable to pay his water rates they, of course, promply cut off his supply. Bat they do not stop there. They inform the local sanitary officer, and the unlucky man is promptly summoned for neglecting to provide a sufficient water supply to flush his drains. Thus they succeed in doubly punishing the offender at absolutely' no cost to themselves.

One of the biggest publishing firms in London employs a bookbinder to sit in a room at the Law Courts and do any necessary repairs to the books of the court. No machinery is used. A factory inspector discovered the bookbinder, and had his employers summoned for not having affixed to the wall abstract of the Factory Act,

Two Cowes tradesmen were recently brought before the Bench for selling to a yachtsman milk and provisions on Sunday morning, and a Wolverhampton barber, about the same time, was also prosecuted for shaving a customer on the Sabbath. Both these prosecntions failed ; but it is interesting to know that there is still in existence a law which not only provides a fine for these offences, but also orders that a convicted person who fails to pay the penalty shall be ' set publicly in the stocks for the space of two hours.'

UNLIMITED CAPACITY. . The bißbisp.apv«Jved' of Gil Bias, who was young, good-looking, quick of foot and tongue. Gil Bias approved of the palace table and the bishop's beds. They were soft and warmer than those to which he had been used. He also liked the bishop's sermons—or said so—and his praises pleased his grace immensely. The bishop thought Gil Bias a young man of great discernment for, his years, and said so. Thus both parties were pleased. But as Sunday after Sunday passed, and as Gil Bias found himself ceaselessly praising the bishop's sermons, he feared lest his eulogies might become monotonous. He did not want to excite the bishop's suspicions. In short, Gil Bias feared to lose his job. So he determined to mingle a little gentle deprecation, a suspicion of acidity, with his next dose of honeyed flattery. After high mass next Sunday, as they were seated at table eating truffled capon and other meagre archiepiscopal fare, the bishop observed that Gil Bias said [ nothing of his sermon, and remarked on his silence.

* T*ue, your grace,' responded the Machiavellian young man; 'but my silence is because I fear your grace might be offended were I to say tbat to-day's sermon was not quite up to that of last Sunday. 4

The bishop stared at Gil Bias and dropped nis knife and fork. 'I do! not mean/ that foxy person hastened to say, * that the sermon was not a grand and sublime effort. It was more than these things—it was Augnstinian—it was apostolic—it was infused with piety and eloquence.' ' And yet,' said the bishop, in icy tones, jcu are good enough to say that it is inferior to last Sunday's sermon ?'

' Not very mack inferior, bat just a leetle bit, yonr grace,' replied Gil Bl*s, who began to scent trouble. The bisbop looked attentively at the young man. ' Gil Bias,' said he, slowly, • I see that I have been mistaken in you. I thought you were a young man of taste and discernment. I see that you are an ass. Go to my treasure get what is due you, and begone.' And the holy man turned away, leaving Gil Bias to reflect on the folly of believing that flattery can be given in overdoses,

'Excuse me, Sis,' said Barker to a booriah traveller, «but what is your business P' •lam a gentleman, Sir, that's my business.' 'Ah 1' said Barker, 'I see you are taking a hcrtidfty.*