Humour.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 413, 14 April 1904, Page 6

Humour.

bo^^;op^ ; opterß : fifteen,y^B*ld^ c ; ,a batS&dfe* of fiaancier& or kleptomaniacs that honesty ;,stilL.reaaina »the j.beßfe policy,. genera), ly Cross Husband: «There are "plenty of 1 women,whpsonly 'spend a year jon-theirdreas.fwUtfYJ' «?o-j? Sfif • toped «Wife,: ppundtiia yeir! &ol«wuiieys'gb'and f look if' My bedroom ! chimney ia-smoking.' s.h . .ns*!I** 1 ** _ ;: ; thinking) awful; bu| the amokjaiß.aU going up tbe '...*."'■'''."',. .„'., „./"'« .Z-- s'".'

r; Landlady t'* The price of is twenthy.five shillirigr'a week Vi suit ycu-P',.,. j *,t urnl ' u ' Student: 'Perfectly.' ~ -,,., ~,;!, *^' liaiittlady':'.'■'"■ Then you can't have "it. any"pne^whb^eekly accepts arich.isri l exorbitant price! iobvibhaiy doeanStr'iritend >'l jj - s

*;' £ MfsPlanigari; '^hjwe/andiwhafgydjaf Titiebaridbußi&ißgsP' " ■ ""' ';.';!..:: m ites^loof walker^:-'He'wilks ahoutand; [dp?g nothingi'v vidy.-iii ?ai ufejjjjjjg Elani^nj: ? y(s!ftithi iß ; hffialtramp;P , v cpalmau was taking aome 1 coalr-intb- an aaylum. On'passißg one of the roooi'a Keheard Bomeofle yell at, -the7pitphlbf his voice, so once opened the,tdppr. :; The ,lunatic;-then walked out,' puahiea the coalman. ingide,,and,looked the "dobtf; ,The cbklmari' yelled and screamed) "for^:'all''hj9 : %ad- *6rthf while the shouted through the keyhole'V aEfi ' 4:iS I'" c; i gflfts *oo, the louder; you shout; ' 'you are kept in.',.. - t ;, , m / ,;,,. „.< ; ■

iuiGhurch-Worlte'fs i in M Englafed, ihbwever humble, certainly obtain due appreciation from their clergy, for a certain Jankee minister,, when,lately,holding; : a-' service, warmly rinvpked,,the Diyine blessing upon every wiw the 'cMrcnp and finally 'interceded fpr *>jthe_one .who; althbngh Mdden from ; aigh% yet contributes.; so-muckotoithe 'musical.part of our wprship,'. ending, ,« O, Lofd,>l meari" the boy "who ".blows the

,^^' r #ho|||^jit^ t ai)ton£ftCfainy<ooiy^onoo^ cbflt.somethinjg,' explained the.preprietor of the summer hotel, «but w,e consider them a good investment;' '" ■ 'They attract pebple fb'the'placei'leuppqse.l' ; jcpmnißhtea rthe : f thoughtless .stranger,;., ?i .\, s&iKn&i <*id%ia or-y fis I'/Phji^tis^'t'so mufjh the pfoprietor,*: but they encourage, love affaire; and that enables ua to lave something on the provisions/ 1 il ■ *; ; ' ft! ;'

.., A little, girl, .about" six years, of r= age : generally got the name. of-/Red;Eidfng Hood in the village ■where she | lived, with hood of the same colour on he? head. ?i One day when she this cloak and hood , on, .her mother sent -her. on an errand to a neighbouring -grocer.; .pThe shopkeeper, thinking .to tense.hei ( i. tjold her he wanted to ask her a (juestion, „and that, if she answered him correctly, she would receive sixpence,:" '- ■■■'>< ""'* uv, ~- • Now, Red .Riding Hood,! rhe said, ' whore's the wolf f, a ..- 1 > 4j, rn ■'()',{ j '*' A;t the other side of the counter,, sir,' came the apt reply. She got the'sixperice,

Inquiring Countryman: 'Excuse me, sii?, but might that there figger be the Apollo with the.bejrjejlfld eazf* ■:■-< w .;,',,,.