Etiquette by Telephone

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 411, 31 March 1904, Page 8

Etiquette by Telephone

si it ant sAicn.Toir somu.

Si CBOIYD of suburbanites ijoJ\ swarmed toward the waiting -Ij&rain- °s i*- .''utei rr.i.at fringe came f>fSictiitleuGray Nun. as the Young ji'-Msn had already her; but Ijjjjfshe was r- t meek or holy, or nuaat all, and only her clothes amd Bltethat were jfray. She walked lightfcsprill^^ly > on her toes, and she radiant and smiling-. To look at one would say she might be a jfclJiide cr a young mother with a wSHsaby waiting out there in the subc lirbs somewhere. But the Young Man ,af " refused to entertain either of these suppositions. She was the Little Gray Nun, spinster. He had been i watching h«r for 15 minutes. Suddenly he saw the radiance of father face tarnish and a minute be|Eginning of horror dawn in her eyes—k for he was an observing young man. I Be saw her searching her chatelaine ["bag, then her gray skirts, as if a jptpocket might have been hidden in L them by mistake. Then he saw the 1 ";'I|orror itself spread from her eyes P orer her piquant little faee. The m tittle Gray TT-.n. then, was in troujg bl«. £'. "She hj» J k;- something," the jjtlfoung Man sighed, as if the loas EJ3Kf!S* &** own- He took two giant jjpjj&Tides forward, then stopped. The K&ittle Gray Nun was talking to the Kpt»iiductar. He could not hear her 9fVoice,. but the conductor's was and might have been boomi§ing through a megaphone. i "Sorry, miss, but it can't be done I to our rules 'n' regulaIptions. Sorry 1 can't put you through." a BjoWnatever the Little Gray Nun anHEfered was lost in the echoes- from 3<!2ie megaphone, but as she turned Hpiway th«* offended dignity of hsr IjKcarriage was marred by the tremuRllotis. ttutter of her small, gray-gloved Kharns"~?h"e .walked now, heavily, on |T '-"I beg your pardon.** The Young fciian raiaed his hat courteously. H»/B».st if that fellow in the brass Hf buttons back there said anything inK* .*=:' ! .*ir';jr, there's just time for me to B|break' his bones for him before* ths HTtrain, starts. Beg pardon, but you'll BtitTe to tell me quick!" B "Oh," dimpled the Little Gray Nun, !■<£. spite of herself. "Oh, no, please WS&rtpJtl He only told me that—that—ft, "Yo£>?" tapped the Young Man imJKpatienfly, though the courtesy of his jEtifted «at and interested face was fflfoerfecfc But there was so little time gSF-it u»I&a time to break a fellow's ftn££Jc*i:bonea^ for him. The engineer awaiting the conductor's He only said he—couldn't let me Broome without a ticket. I're lost IgjHirse, but of course I should |o3 back tfie money to-morrow. jt;not a tramp!" *The brutel ril have him reported taeadquartera—it's going!" Rand I'm not on it!" groaned the pfte Gray Nun. "And thi -.-. Hiub■Fjg birthday," and I always ■■-.- his Kfffiui there was a baby t ■■:'"*.< •? tra?i> w- ; > tv-.-.» Bfes'little Gray J£ ;J t Be Young MapHftrki I valpHvtiy. a woman, anyway, ■in dV-os*. $ MBut-iSat conductor will be just as wMT~S~ i~ *!. . ■■. if. I wouldn't ask - • . ■to let me rids free BHjB!LT-»excec<t— oh, I forgot poor lit-MRj|%-*nliby: I could do almost snyHK er -' j another train leaves in ■MJK-quarter ci ua hour," he aaid, I was always the way with Brothers. The Young Man felt ■■PniroEiance A things slipping ■Nth his But he plunged Bfi&nd into pocket and drew BBj -'lit little silrer-purse.

Kgr b'ddiog It -'tit t... her. W$ r.:'._- n -■ it, you kuijTr. Hr«~ .'- I use & mil,B.iitT.:- -.ray Nun railed. Th<MUat_l:-. ■ ; - v ■i.-c-ks: fan: > lt . r ■&l*' ?T s*>t Lead Uited K* •■ > you see mU**h~ -y Nun is grow-R|r--ic joo—let me pass, please," ■bittle Grtt-y Nua said, frigidly. luokibg after her in

(home ;?urin' the ni~ht before. But Gil ;.'r.e ?aid no, he didjT: lay it to his pap. I "Tap wam't in mem pans jest Uhen, Dan'l,' says Gil, 'so I didn't lay ■it to pap." says he. "Xo. It was old &i j'that I thunk of V

" 'Old Si was campin' not more'n two mile from ir. e, and I had my idees aboi; I him. So I jest says that my pork ha<! stuck to him some way and got out o* my bailiwick. " 'But it was mebbea good thing fer me that I thunk a leetle furder befojre goin' to old Si's and demandin' my pork back. I thunk a lettle furder, and then I says what was I thinkin'about? '"Old Si would quick enough fasten on to the pork all right, but he never would have gumption enough to head up a bar'l like that bar'l was headed, after doin' of it. 'Tain'tjold Si,' I save. -^ " 'So I jest sot. down and thunk that the.best way to find out who the smart thief was would be fer me to hide and watch for him, and so I did.

" 'The second day o' watchin', Dan'l. I see a big bear come slouchin' out of the'brush nigh to the cabin, and there I hadn't no gun! ile, livra' along the headwaters, knowin' the headwaters as to bear, and bein' there in the woods without a gun! I was mad. and I was sorry, for I thought I roout as well as not gather in a nice lot o' bear while I was watchin' to see who stole my pork, and there I didn't have no gun.

" 'I was jest on the pint o' gittin' up and pitchin' into the bear anyhow, when I happened to think that if the pork thief came along he'd more than likely have a gun, and that of course he'd knock over the bear, so that when I jumped out and took the consarned thief by the neck while he was loadin' himself with my pork ag'in. I'd have a nice fat bear and a good pelt,, besides gittin' the pork thief. So I laid low and said nothin'.

" 'The bear, he nosed around a spell. and then dim one oHhe corner poles o* the cabin to the roof, edged along to the chimly. pud then let himself down the chimly i ight into"*-**,. jgabJn. I didn't suspicion the bear, even tl;c-n, Dan'l,' says Gil. 'but T up to the winder and peeked thrO'CiJ'h.

" 'Say, you could a tumbled me over with a chippy bird's feather, I was so flabbergasted over what Tseen! Tire bear was a workin' at the porkb.ir'l. and a good deal quicker than I con*' 1 a done it myself he unbended t>r l bar'l! Yes, sir, Dan'l! Took off the top hoop and lifted out the head o' the barl! m " "Then the bear took out two nice Hmks of pork. He sot there-and eat ihem while 1 waslookin'at him. Then he licked his paws and his chops, took out another hunk o' pork, laid it on the fleer, headed up the bar'l as sin'-" as a boss cooper could a done it, look the hunk o' pork under his arm, skvn up the chimly like a monkey, dropped to the ground as easy as nothin', an>l trotted off into the brush, grinhin' enough to make a feller crazy, before I could say boo! " 'Dan'l,' says Gil, 'then T was gkul T didn't have no gun. If I'd a kille.l that bear,' says he, 'l'd a felt all my life a--if the mark o' Cain was branded onto \my brow!' says.he. "And jest as mild as could be. Benign without- ever teeterin* his chair level, says to Gil: " 'Don't knaw but what you mawt gs well have the mark o' Cain on your brow,' says he, 'as to have Ananias and Sapphiry -stamped all over you plainer than the brands on an army mule!' says Beuben. - >

"I didn't say nothing, but jest thunk what kind o' things it must be that Jekiel, or old Jorum, or even Eli's Sam mowt be able to tell about headwaters bears when they got to goin'."

Sent to Church as Punishment. A group of army officers was talking over experiences at the Grand hotel one evening lately. There wag also a naval officer and two or three civilians in the group. The naval officer had told of going to sleep in church at Annapolis, dreaming that he was falling out cf a buggy, and awakening I o find that his dream came near enou 7.3 the truth to nethim ten demerit mn •• . "That makes me think of an er»:sv>Uat one cf the western army posit • r,years ago," said F. C. Steven?, of V;ir:.:'ia, one of ih? civilians. "I was not,oof the victims, but I had thest'-rv fr< •-.. me cf theni. U*Tfiptain a'< ; . :> .t «as n. rdi-rirv;.- r,-. , and every K'.su-!»»■«• he scat ail the \a '. r.ers !n room to church. _ j,he cha"[>'-r r '-> "was very long-winded', ■ ■••! the prisoners t£seft&. They iirj-:;;- succeeded in • T«"tti ! !'r a. board ox investigation to ock iatc the matter. ££e board d«ifided, after due investigation, that t> is. of the punishment was not allowable, in that it was not only 'jruusual' hut also 'cruel.' " "That wiTi do for a civilian," laughed the officers, and two of them left the hotel for the theater —N. Y. Tribune.