Social Hoods.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 411, 24 March 1904, Page 7

Social Hoods.

THE S riNGY YOUNG MAN. «**ijg«S a boy he is careful over his weekly ®jMK) pennies and stores them up in lua §s3bb! money bos that he ia particular about keeping locked. He never spends unless compelled to do so, and hoards his savings as a raiser would oblj for the satisfaction of seeing the pennies turn to silver, and the silver to gold. It is the same with other things.

If he has a taste for buying books he will add one by one to his store, keeping them if possible behind glass doors tbat lock, bo that nobody but himself can tonch the volumes.

Seldom is he known to lend one, or if he does he is careful to note the date that it goes from the shelf, and asks for it back in a certain time.

He is known to avoid attending a church where a plate is handed round for the collection, as he prefers the little dark bags into which he can slip the smallest of coins without it being noticed, for he would not disdain to give the humble farthing &he were sure of it not being seen. '.. '^fe'.'v-.•'■:-*-'" : <- : - •-''■'■■ ': : '''.-i.<-'■■■,■ ...

He is excessively mean over triflea, and will slip a halfpenny into the porter's palm wko has carried a heavy portmanteau

from me platform to anotne*, and wi cross Over a muddy street rather than take' the clean orossing where he would be ex« peoted to give the sweeper a penny. It obliged to escort hie sisters to any entertainment he is Variably underpays the cabby, and there is a disagreeable altercation which u-raally ends in one of the girls thrusting an extra shilliag into the man's hand.' If later on he thinks it advisable to he will naturally look ont for a woman with, money, and as he is not by any means an attractive penooage he will probably have to content himself : with a bride who is on in yean?* and has not been favoured with many chances of changing her name. The time of wooing and then the engagement is fraught with pain and sorrow to the stingy young man, who is more or less obliged to part with his mosey, for a bouquet must now and again be purchased, theatre or concert tickets bought, a present given, and, alas, the betrothal ting that he counts out the sovereigns for with bitter p*Dgp. X, It is well for him if the lady of'nifl, choice doea nr.fc turn out as extravagant, as' he is the reverse, for if she is inclinedtjiafc way there will most certainly be tqusbblea for ever. Though the wealth may be on her side it will be gall and wormwood to the husband to 869 the money melt through his wife's fisgers.

He is the kind of man who objects to anything that, is superfluous,and will arrange that his own funeral shall be the plainest, not to say meanest description, and that 'no flowers' shall be inserted in the printed notice of his death.

. Ualovcd through lif*, it ia not very likely that suah emblems of affection will be showed upon, him when dead, and so, signs of his! meanness follow him to the grave. ~...•