Humour.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 410, 17 March 1904, Page 3

Humour.

Not long ago a regiment of volunteers were marching,'amongst whom was a certain man, whose wife and child happened to be standing watching them. . This volunteer chanced to be out of step; his youngster suddenly noticed this, and cried out to his mother. 'Oh, Jyuk muthori thor all oot a step but ma fethori'^ •Yes/ said Henpeok, 'the thing that impressed me most in Egypt was the mummy of one of the ancient Queens.' * What was remarkable about itP* 'The fact that they could make her dry np and stay that way.' Teacher: 'lf your father oan do a piece of work in seven days and your uncle George can do it in nine days, how long would it take both of them P' Johnny: ' They'd never get it done. They'd sit down and-tellflah stories.' First Pockpooket: ' Hullo, where have you been latelyF Second Pickpocket: I've been ill.' First Pickpocket: ' That's too bad. Interfere with your work much f' Second Pickpocket: 'lt did for awhile, but I'm getting my hand in again.' Saphead : 'Haw! All very well dressing up in these—haw—beastly papah caps and things, don't you know, Miss Smartt; but it—haw—makes every one look such a dashed fool !* ;• Miss Smartt (not very well pleased with the remark): ' Dear me I d'you think so P I should have thought you would like it, then. Make you feel so much more yourself.' An Irish soldier during the late war arrived at camp late one night. He was challenged with the usual,. 'Who goes there P' After pondering a' few momants, and the challenge being repeated, and thinking he might avoid -punishment, he answered, 'Kitchener.' He was immediately knocked down with the butt end' of a rifle. While ne was on the ground ruefully rubbing his head, the sentry exclaimed ; ' Why, it's Callaghan I What did yez say it was Kitchener forf 'Shure,' came the answer, 'when ye would do this to Kitchener, phwat would ye do to Callaghan ?'