SANDY, THE MISER-PHIL ANTER PIT.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 401, 14 January 1904, Page 6

SANDY, THE MISER-PHIL ANTER PIT.

Sandy Maepherson was a typical Sot. tie kept the Sabbath Day, and everything else he could lay his hands ou i .' t. least to the people said ; and Sandy took a grim .delight in listening to the insinuation made concerning his paisit.ony. Sa«dy,-l.o\vfcvei, like most pig headed Scot*-, had a way of bis own, and the opinions of other people had no more effect uponliiui than if he had been the Pi em ier of the colony, or a major, or a drainage engineer, or any other suchlike great personage who lives in the upper flats of life, a&d doesn't caie a bawbee for anybody. v

As it eaine towards Christinas liuie S.sndy used to go about with a eontiuus.l grin, which put you in mind of a man looking at his picture in the "Sketeher" —a sort of contented feeling that fame had at length been thrust upou. him, tinged with regret at his own Jack of beauty !—just that sort of grin, you know „ Sandy was a bachelor, and lived in a " bnt-an'-ben" on his own section in one of the submts. Wnen the girls would have married him he was off it, and when lie would have married the girls were off it. So it came to pass that Sandy remained a bachelor. Young men will please make a note of this fact, and improve the shining hour. Don't neglect picnics, tea fights, quiet walks, etc., if you desire to avoid Sandy's fate ! Before Saii'y left Scotland he made an attempt at matrimony, but it wasn't a success. He could manage the whole 'business till it c;me to the vital question, then he wished he were Adam, and got no further. Well, as I was.saying, Sandy looked fjrward to Christmas with feelings of delight, for the one form of amusement he indulged in took place then. He used to make out a list of poor people, and send them each a"sackful -of-grcceTTe>.""They-ijad no moie idea than the man in the moon wEonT came from, and Sanity, with sardonic humor, used to enjoy the unflattering criticisms and remark? made unwittingly concerning his stinginess and meanness. His favorite gift was a box of Hondai-Lanka tea, and it was as good as a joke to hear old Jonah Jaup, the grocer, trying to induce him to buy blended stuff. «•* Ka, na Jonah. When I gie awa tea I like to gie the hest. Nae doot if I was sdlen't 1 m cht like the tea with the big profit." •• •-. b, bub," ®*ys Jonah, " the people like blended best." "Nae doot," raphes - w 'andy, " folk no accustomed to roast b<ef are aye contented *i' singed sheep's heids an' ingans." " Toote, man." says Jouih " the wife, are uses blended." "Aye, Jonah, but she lell't me a diilLreat story." ' Wee!, weel, bee ye'r ain wey. Hoo muckle this time ?" Then Sandy, with perfect rust in Jonah's pleiged seoieuv, went over his list till the ain.m.itset aside was expended. Jho la ton his list only received 4£lb of tea, because stb would exceed his limit of expemlituie. Hech! sirs, the Scotch are an awfu'queer thrawu folk—kittle cattle ; but they ken guid tea, an' that's what makes them aye ask for M'Kenzie's Cock o' the North Hondai-Lanka pure Ceylon Tea.