Varieties.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 392, 12 November 1903, Page 7

Varieties.

PHONO9BAPH3 IN QTJEEB SITTJATIONS. SIgKOE a phonograph to act as a dcoMyp fendant in a slander action would JK?«S seem a very extraordinary occurrence; yet such wa3 the part played by one of Mr. Edison's ingeni'.ua speaking maohinss some tim 9 ago in a Berlin law-court. The proprietor of a restaurant wbersia a phonograph was erected spoke into the apparatus several slanderous statements concerning an individual who had incurred his displeasure, and when the patrons of the machine inserted their pennies in the slot they were amazed to hear the said statements issue from the phonograph in place of a comic song. The aggrieved victim of the slander immediately took scticn againsffhe restaurateur, with'the result that the phonograph was brought into court and sit to work. Strangely enough, howevex, it refund to unfold tie statements of which complaint had been made, and in consequßEce of the breakdown of tho apparatus witnesses had to be summoned to prove the slander. Ths upshot of the business was that the plaintiff was compensated for libal, and the affair terminated in a friendly fashion. Not long ago the phonograph figured in an American wedding, two contracting parties who were separated through iilness being bound together by the agency of a couple of these instruuments. The machine has also played an important part of late in certain hospitals, where it has been used in connection with diseases of the chest, in order to compare the relative strength of the patient's enunciation from day to day.

Admonished by Phonograph.

Perhaps, however, one of the queerest situations in which this apparatus has been placed is the pulpit of a church. Several months" ago fee minister of a United Stateß chapel, being confined to his house by inflaenza, hit upon the notion of speaking his Sunday morning sermon into his phonograph. This was accordingly done, and when the proper time arrived tho clerk mounted the rostrum, and placed the machine on the desk. It was then set in motion, and for the next ten minutes an elcqaent discourse was preached to the astonished congregation, who, for the first time in their lives, were admonished by machinery. Every word of this peculiar sermon was wonderfully distinct, and the experiment proved a complete success. At a fraudulent spiritualistic seance held recently, a small phonograph was employed to represent the voice of a supposed 'spook,' All was proceeding admirably when of a sudden an irreverent visitor switched on the electric light, and the fraud was discovered. The progenitors of the BeaHce at once decamped, leaving the phonograph to continue the utterance of its supposed message from the other world.

A FRENCH IDEA. There are two or three things concerning EDglißh folks about which French people are firmly convinced, one being that only the eldest son of any family ever inherits anything in the shape of money or possessions. A. little persuasion and the relating of facts might induce them to relax a little on this point; but nothing whatever would persuade the French housewife that it is not on account of lack of nourishment" in English prepared food that necessitates so many meals a day.' Two meals, ( <fejeuner at twelve and dinner at six or seven—for the coffee and rolls at eight in the morning is not termed a meal—are found to be sufficient in France, and the housewife who will explain that every part of the meals she prepares is absolutely filled with nourishing ingredients will add that in England the food nourishes so badly that one soon gets hungry again, and has to have another mea), thus crowding a breakfast luncheon, tea, dinner, and often supper into one single day.

AN ANTI-MAEEIaGE AGREEMENT At a Lutheran church iH New Jersey the choir is exclusively feminine. But defections have of late been frequent on account of marriage; so the remnant came together and drafted and signed this agreement:— Whereas, in Heaven there is no marrying, and no giving in marriage ; and Whereas, we, the undersigned, because of our Heaven-sent gift of song, are engaged in the work of leading otherß to Heaven by our service in the church; and Whereas, other choirs have yielded to the temptation of lovo, married and gone to the pewß, leaving the loffc voiceless, so to speak 5 be it Eesolvod, that we do agree, severally and jointly, not to marry within one year from the date of this agreement, and to maintain an unbroken and harmonious choir; be it further Resolved, that each of us solemnly agree in the event of marrying to pay a forfeit of .£2O to of the choir. J| HttL