Humour.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 389, 22 October 1903, Page 7

Humour.

Two old pals met. ' I saw you in the Publio House Protest Parade on Tuesday,' one of them said. «Oh, yes/ ' Now you tell me about it. Who were those fellows in front on horses ?' «Those P Why, those were the wholesalers.' 'Wellj who were those fellows in carriages ?' * Those fellows in top hats, smoking the big cigars ?' •Yes.' . «They were the distillere and brewers.' «Who were those fellows walking there with the white hats, white coats, and gold-headed canes ?' ' They were the retailers.' ' ' Who ware those fellows that brought np the rear ?' 'Fellows with cauliflower noses and fringe on their paints—the crowd I was with ?' «Yes.' * Ohj they were the consumers.' A. country clergyman relates the following incident as bring absolutely founded on fact :~ Having arrived (says he) at that point in the Baptismal Service where the infant's name is conferred, I said; — ' Name this child,' 'Original Story,' said the sponsornurse. * What do you say V I asked, in surprise. «Original Story/ she repeated, in clear, deliberate tones. * It's a very odd name, isn't it ? Are you eure you want him called by the name of Original Story?' I queried. 'Original Story—that'B right,' she declared. ' Is it a family name ?' I persisted. ' Named after his uncle* sir,' explained the woman-in-charge, getfting red in the face. And so as Original Story I chii3tened the unoffending little fellow. It waß some weeks after this event that I made the acquaintance of the said uncle—a farm labourer in another village—whose name was Reginald Story. Talk about 'looking for opporfcunies of doing good 1' We may as well talk about looking for firewood in a forest, or for water during a flood. The world is full of suoh opportunities. Failure is success if there is a growing intelligence in it Better be alone than'be in bad company.—Spanish proverb.