Varieties.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 389, 22 October 1903, Page 7

Varieties.

NAVAL MAKCEUVBES. SjjgigN real warfare we can well imagine IM **° keen excitement which would |i§, follow the portentous announcement, ' Torpedo boats coming on to attack,' for every man fore and aft knows the danger which lurks in the swift craft darting down on their hoped-for prey. To understand really the wonderful discipline of a well-drilled ship's company it is necessary to see officers and men ' turn to' at a • rehearsal for this kind of event. Erery one knows his place, and goes there without any noise or confusion, It may be in the daytime, it may be at night; all the same, each man, when the bugler has blown his blast, is at his post in a surprisingly short time. Up go the machineguns into the tops, The great guns are cast loose. The small-arms men line the sides. The ship bristles with sharp points like the fretful porcupine. The gunneiy lieutenant is in the conningtoner, with electric gear ready to hand, and the monster artillery obey his touch. His right-hand man, the gunner, keeps an eye on the magazine. The torpedo lieutenant, with his well-trained men, stands by the Whiteheads. 'Beady! Aye, Beady!* The fingers of the riflemen on deck are ready to close on their triggers. From the captain who ' fights the ship' to the boy who handles an ammunition-box all are on the alert, * Beady, aye ready!' ' Torpedo boats!' From east, west, north, and south, small specks come on with the speed of the wind, and the great gun bursts forth with fire and smoke. The heavy boom of the bitf guns, the tearing crash of the Nordeufeldta and Gardners, the ' pop' of the Hotchkiss, and the increasing rattle of rifles succeed the quiet of a moment before. Sometimes a dummy boat has been lowered to represent the enemy, and then ' bullet' is used instead of ' blank,' with the result of mazing the sea foam again with the shower of missies. At night the scene is very striking. The spectator is inclined to ask which be the best off, the swift boat or the monster shipP The answer moßt probably would be,' Wait till it is tried.' The first great naval battle will be a vast experiment, IN THE SCHOOLS. One child, asked for a definition of ' plagiarist, said, ' A writer of plays.' Another juvenile expkins that ' to aad

the number of square feet in a ifodm; you multiply the room by the number of feet,' Another even better answer, whioh comes under the head of music, is that,'emphasis is putting mora distress on one word i nan another.'

Bevilatiqns in English History. The following questions' and anawers were freely quoted 0- some time ago, and, although amusing, considering the age of the child, they appear to us to prove more stupidity on the part of'the master than of the pupil, if true—which we very much: doubt. In answer to a question as to the ciuse of the Transvaal difficulty, putto.a boy aged ten. he wrote: 'Krugger and Easnerbulism is one. He is a man of bind. Mr Chamberlain has wrote to him sayin, iS come, put ,#nd fifce, or else give up blood of the "Englishmen you have took, he is a boarddutchman and a wicked, heethia. Lord Kitheaer has sent for his gory blud and to bring back his scanderlus } bed ded or alive.' Here we have others historical and general questions and their, at s wers. .■ One youth says: 'My favourite character in English history is Hanry Till., because he had eight wives and killtd them all.' Another is of opinion that the same monarch ' was famous for being a great widower, having Jost several wives.' We also learn that 'Edward 111. would have been King of France, it his mother had been a man,' and also that 'Alexander the Great was born in the absence of his parents.' One boy opined that ' the cause of the Peasants' Revolt was that a shillisg poultice should be put on everybody over sixteen.' Miscellaneous Replies.

Among answers to more general questions we have:—'A watershed is a bouse between two rivers, so that a drop of water falling on one side runs iato one river, and a drop on the other side goes into another river.' We also are told that'« the Feudal System lies between the Humber and the Thames,' and that ' a man who looks on the bright eiie of things is called an optimist, and one who looks on the dull Bide is called a pianist.' An answer to a question in a scripture paper, which came under our own observation, was to the effect that ' the .elders were driven from the Temple because they changed money and sold buns/ though what connection there may be between doves and that stodgy comestible we fail to understand.

AERONAUT'S WILD FLIGHT. The inhabitants of Aries (Bouches-du-Rhone) were surprised early an the morning of 19 ;h April by the precipitate descent of a large balloon contaiaing four members of the Aero Club,'which came violently to the ground, breaking a number of telegraph wires. Fortunately no one was hurt. < The aeronauts left Paris on the previous evening, and were carried in the direction of the Cevennes, where, at a registered height of 10,000 feet the temperature was 27 deg. below freezing point. The balloon was travelling at the rate of over sixty miles an hour when the occupants sighted the land, and feaiing thar they would be carried over the sea, they decided to descend at once, and dropped 9000 feet in ten minutes. The balloon struck the earth, rebounded, a hundred yards, and finally settled on the telegraph wires. So rapid was the descent the aeronauts were deprived of all sensation, and when they reached the ground they were completely deaf. Soma bottles of mineral water in the car were frozen. After resting at the hotel at Aries the aeronauts recovered themselves, and left in the course of the day by train for Paris, taking their balloon with them.