Ways of Living.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 387, 8 October 1903, Page 2

Ways of Living.

HIS UMBRELLA.. SfXWHE Anglo-Saxon puritan always jivlk carried his umbrella open. If he fjgks rolled it yon might, at a distance, take that umbrella for a stick, which, he thinks, would give him a certain fast appearance. And a misor does the same, because an umbrella that is never rolled lasts longer. The man who always takes an umbrella out with him is a cautious individual who never runs risks, and abstains from speculation. He will probably die rich; at all events, in easy circumstances. On the contrary, the man who always leaves hia umbrella behind him is generally one who makes no nrovision for the morrow.

That man is thoughtless, reckless, always late for the train or an appointment, leaves the street door open when he comes home late at night, and is generally unreliable. The man who is always losing his umbrella is an unlucky dog, whose bills jare disputed, whose boots split, whose gloves crack, whose buttons are always coming off, who is alwajs in trouble on account of one thing or another.

The man who leaves a new umbrella at his club and hopes to find it there the following day, is a simpleton who deserves all the bad luck which pursues him through life. The man who comes early to an 'At Home' may not show his eagerness to present his respects to his fair hostess, so much as to aim at having a better chance to choose a good umbrella. The man who is perpetually showing a nervous anxiety about his umbrella, and wondering if it is safe, is full of meanness and low suspicion. Let him be ever ao rich, if he asks your daughter in marriage refuse her to him; he will undoubtedly take more care of his umbrella than of his wife.

The possession of a well-regulated watch and a decent umbrella is to a great degree a sign of respectabi ity. More watches and silk umbrellas are pawned than all the other pieces of man's apparel pat together. Tfto man who carries a cotton umbrella is either a philosopher who defies tbo world and all ite fashionable conventions asd prejudices, or an oconomist who knows that a cotton ut»brolla is cheaper than a silk one and lasts longer. The man who walks with short, jerky steps, and never allows his umbrella to touch the ground, is very proper, but not uncommonly a downiight bypocrite. On the other hand, the man who walks with a firm, long step, swinging his body slightly from right to left and using his umbrella like a stick, is generally a good, manly fellow.

A mm who went to an afternoon 'At Home/ and, when ready to leave the house, could not find his umbrella, a beautiful new one, made rather a fuss in the entrance hail. The master of the house came to lis rescue and looked for the missing umbrella among the scores that were there.

'Are you sure you had an umbrella when you came ?' ■ • Quite sure.' ' Perhaps you left it at the other house, where you went first.' * No, no; that's where I got it.'