Social Moods

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, 17 September 1903, Page 7

Social Moods

DOES MATRIMONY MEAN MEDIOCRITY. 3gYnIH£ARRIAGE is fast - mjl<fll P 038^6 *° *h.e ambitious middle 2hXk class man, This is not an alarming outcry. It is a sober fact. So long as there is a rush to get money, there will, of comsa, be unions of a sort. The rich man can always find a mate), whether he be centenarian, dipsomaniac, or imbecile. His 'eccentricities' are 'put up with' for the sake of the purple and fine linen which he can bestow. They may be ' bargain hunting,' but it is not marriage. As understood by old fashioned Britishers, marriage is a willing bondage, the predominating feature of which is the mutual love and sympathy of the contracting parties. It is their regard for this sacred home tie which has brought the Britisher, the Yankee, and the Teuton to the head of the nations, whilst the more brilliant, but less scrupulous, Latin races, such as -the light-hearted French, have dropped gradually behind, Let us ask ourselves flatly two questions. Are we drifting away from the ideal home life of ours P and, if so, can we afford to do so P One has not to look far for a reply. Owing to the stress of modern competition, every benedict who means to push ahead must work early and late, if he would win his way. He must eat, drink and sleep with his business, and devote all his spare time to its further- ' ance, if he would keep abreast, much less get ahead, of his rivals. Meanwhile, where does his wife come in? Her case is indeed hard j but it is one that yea? by year is becoming more common. She has to choose between straightened means with the man she loves, and surrendering her entire share of his spare time to the Work Fiend, in return for increased home comforts and position. It is a hard choice. No loving wife likes degenerating into a mere housekeeper. On the other hand—if only for her children's sake—no woman with an atom of spirit would willingly keep her husband from bettering his position. Bat the results are not always happy. Twenty years ago a promising young journalist found himself gradually forced to the conclusion that to win success he must naglect his home ties, and devote all his time to his profession. Not without misgivings, his little wife assented; and, forthwith, he threw himself into his colossal task.

The years went on and the man struck oil. His ambition was kindled, and he redoubled his exertioas. His wife, poor little woman, saw her influence gradually declining to vanishing point. At first she protested, only to draw the reply that arguments worried him. Then she took to brooding over her grass widowhood. Finally, she sought distraction elsewhere. . One day the ex-journalist, now a flourishing newspaper proprietor, made up his mind that he would ease up a bit and SFe more of his wife. The idea grew upon him. He would start by taking her a tour through the Mediterranean, ' Howfpleased s\q will be,' he thought. He even planned out the words he would use. He would say: ' Ella, darling, at last our fortune is made. Now we will have another honeymoon.' Thosa words were never spoken. When he reached home that night his wife had just gone out. She did not return. Whilst he had been toiling so hard, another had wooed the neglected woman, only too successfully. The newspaper giant who had made his fortune in fifteen years bad lost his wife by fifteen minutes. Of ccnise it was wrong of her. But was she most to blame ? Or, to go still farther, was her husband to blame P Those early years of hard, ceaseless toi 1 were no treat to him. Although the habit grew upon him and gradually dwarfed his domestic sympathies, he started it with the best of intentions.

It is the hardest thing on earth to throw heart and soul into one's business, and to wort day and night for its advancement, without neglecting the very ones for whose sake the toil is undertaken. It needs a huge amount of tact; upon both sides. Upon the man's, to see that he do6s not go too far; upon the wife's, to discriminate between her husband's honest desire to advance their joint fortunes, aud his seeming neglect of herself. Unfortunately all women cannot rise to this height. They are jealous of their husband's love, and detest everything that tends to separation. Most men who are happily married fiad themselves forced to slack off their business efforts. Cupid and Mammon cannot be Beived together, and hence it is that marriage tends to produce mediocrity/ Only a few years ago, the smartest traveller in a world-famous Cheapside house was married amid much rejoicing. Shortly afterwards it was noticed that his returns began to fall off. Gradually they got worse and worse, until the firm set a private inquiry to work to fathom the mystery. He found both husband and wife happy together, and, in his opinion, their very happiness was the cause,