USELESS ACQUISITION

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 376, 23 July 1903, Page 8

USELESS ACQUISITION

French Chef Who Was Out of Plact with Buffalo Bill. ffe« Man of Hur Meal* loos Oasee . to &e Xeaudad mm an Kxp»m«iT» ' IV—■ f in the Western ■v— WMda. [ * ■»——- _____ * ' Some years ego, when Col. Cody ■darted on e tour of the Rocky mountains as the host of a number of foreign military ofSoera, having been fated by them in their clubs and homes, he was anxious to cater to their evsry taste and comfort wbift in camp life on this side of the great yond, relates the Detroit Free Press.

His orders were to apare no exfpense, and among the "luxuries" taken along was a French chef with • record and a price. He wee secured from the Brown Palace hotel in Denver, Louis Pierre Gascirgue was his same; but for the long trail, and the generous price paid to him, "60 plunks a week," a cowboy said the ehef consented to be called "Gas" for abort. He had the selection of the canned foods to be carried along, and turtle soup, of the very best, M. Gas ordered, and it took en extra wagon to hold them. The chef was radiant in • snow-white suit end cap, and presented the appearance the first night In camp of a ghost, and was regarded .with superstitioua suspicion by the cowboys and others of that ilk.

"Gas" set in to show the wild westerners a thing or two in the culinary" art by his first camp dinner. He had • patent cooking stove, the wtde world for a kitchen with heaven for • roof, while china, fine linen and urines were right at hand. Six o'clock was the dinner hour that first night •t the base of the San Francisco mountains, and Gas was in raptures over his dinner. Buffalo Bill, the host, looked serious, the guests more •o. Such a dinner they could get. in any club in a city, but they did not •ay so, if they did keep up a devil of a thinking. It was not what Col. Cody liked, but it was what he thought he ought to have for his distinguished guests. The latter stood it for two days and then went on a strike.

"I say, Cody." ventured Sir St. John llildmay, major of the Grenadier Guards, "do you call this wild western camp fare and cooking? You see, •>ve are all half dead with dyspepsia jiow, and thought we would get some good, wholesome food on this thou-sand-mile trip in the saddle with you."

The others joined in the chorus to the same effect, while monsieur, the chef, looked as solemn as a country parson's horse. As for Col. Cody, he beamed with delight, said that Eocky mountain traits and table d'hote dinners didn't mix well, and Gas was at once given leave to go along, as he couldn't be sent back, as an ornament, a useless acquisition, and two scouts were installed as cooks. And •with tre chef, the canned goods, china, fine liaen and the stove were senl-sd vn in the wagon, and tin plates and c-.- >« were brought forth. Ard s:ic!i cooking as these scouts did could not be improved upon, while Col. Cody showed that he was a firstclass cook himself. Ke could throw a flapjack frcm a frying pan into.the cir IS feet, turn it over and have it come dawn on the other side, never once making a miss and falling into the fire. The gueets tried to learn Ihis trick, but it was found too expensive, as they never missed the fire, hut always the frying pan. M. Louis Pierre Gascirgue could not be prevailed upon to taste any of the frontier cooking, but stuck to his soups and plum pudding-?, while he looked as Ihcur'i he had buried hie best friend, lie sought excitement in riding a broncho, and was thrown daily. He took to a wagon and was upset, after which he walked, dropped behind, and was scared nearly to death by the Indians. One day he stood looking up disconsolately at the sun and F.-.id in a funereal tone: "Dat sun do shine for all persun, but it do not just seem to shine for me." When tho long trail ended at Salt Lake City the F.tnch chef was the only one of the party who had indigestion, and he drowned his sorrows by getting gloriously drunk, hence •was happy for the time being. But Col. Cody braced him up and returned him to Denver, having paid well for • "luxury," not to be taken, on a Eocky mountain trail. ----* Invention to Bar Intruders. Nervous travelers who dread sleeping in unknown houses will welcome the so-called "vigilant dragon," which is not unlike a small brassshelled tortoise. It is, in fact, a dome-gong table bell, with spiked lags and with a spiked dragon's head. When a bedroom door is closed the spikes are placed in the floor and against the door, end then the dragon's tail just touches the floor. This tail is connected with the bell clapper, so that if anyone endeavors to open the door from the outside an" obstacle is met with, and the alarm. Is given. When the anxious watches of the night are over the "vigilant dragon" becomes a reposeful bell for the writing table.—London Express. Blest-Furnace Gaa-Xotora. In western Europe, and particularly in Germany, the employment of motors utilizing gases from blast furnaces is increasing. It is said that the use of these gases, which is not so common in England or the United States, effects a considerable saving in the' cost of founding. The motors thus driven are employed principally lor actuating sir compressor* and electric generators.—Science.

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS. The moon moves round the earth a 2,273 miles an hour. During the year ended June 30 last there were 4,200 oases of smallpox it Tennessee.

London public libraries have over 5,000,000 volumes. Their joint issue i. 27,000,000 volumes. The Chinese, in their theater in Sai. Francisco, have adopted the cus;o:i. of pelting bad acioto with nu.'.c egg* An English cycling policeman ha.-, had the satisfaction of capturiug hi> man at Exmouth, after a ride i.f 4. miles.

Canada has the largest forest : n ti world. It is in the Labrador &uC Ijtiu son Bay district, and is, roughly. >,OO. by 1,700 miles.

There are five rivers in the ".mr'ui which drain-over 1,000,000 sq:.ure miles. They are the Amazon, La Plata, Obi, Congo and Miss'j-sl,"-pi. Export i:f her - and mules :« Missouri la.-r ;.ca:i.r.:'i?l)' ;i return cf $9,000,000. and a -at dial of the money came fre-n ''•-reign c untrics.

There i.< n.> or. ci-trrl.-i ;!; .r \ -. i be indulged in at so latlt cost that can compare \\"..h sv,'.:. -nxing for giving generai healthful cxtrcise.

A successful Kansas farmer declnres that he feeds n sih'ng to his fattening hogs but ear corn and cold \vater, # and that he cleans the feeding floor after everv meal.

A Magdalen in pink and white robes kneeling in prayer in a cavern was sold for $2,600 at Chrystie's, in London. It is a large Munllo, five feet by four. Three Cupids playing musical instruments hover above the head of the penitent. It is a rather curious fact that while we all know what "life" is, still the term in philosophy lacks a strict and adequate definition. It is evd to be difficult to find for it a definition that does not include more than is necessary, or exclude something that should be taken in. LATEST THING IN FRUIT. Resembles a. Siamese Twin Peach Flavored with Pineapple ana Has Romantic Story. Most New Yorkers at least have heard of "dumbbeQl tenements," but probably no one in America has yet seen the newest product of scientific gardening—the. dumbbell fruit, says the Herald of that city. The new fruit resembles a Siamesetwin peach and tastes like a peach flavored with pineapple. It is said to be delicious —far surpassing any (known fruit in, tthe delicacy of its flavor.

There is a romance connected with the story of it* cultivation, ai:d although the fruit comes from an island in the Indian ocean, on the opposite side of the world, the hero of the story was an American. It seems that in the year 1886 an American scientist named Jeffreys, embittered by an unfortunate love affair, turned his back on civilization and with a Cingalese servant made his home on a small island 1,000 miles south of Ceylon. Here he remained (living a Robinson Crusoe life) until his- death in 1898, occupying himself with scientific studies and the cultivation of fruit trees. By grafting and other methods he produced several curious varieties—his most astonishing success being the dumbbell fruit. After the death of Mr. Jeffreys the native servant took a few samples ©f the new fruit and set sail in a trading vessel for Bombay. The merchants to whom he showed his specimens at once formed a syndicate and have since been diligently cultivating the plantations left by the American scientist.

Several shiploads have been sold in the seaport cities of Australia and India, and the syndicate is making preparations to meet an enormous demand next season.

In London, where the dumbbell fruit has appeared this season in small quantities, it has met with much favor from those fortunate enough to obtain it. A suburban innkeeper, who concocted a new drink with the juice of the fruit, did a thriving business. English m« She la Perverted. The boast of Americans has been that, no matter where you may go in any part of the United States, there is very little difficulty in understanding the dialect. Oregon may talk with Florida, or Maine with Arizona, without th.e confusion that arises in the various counties of England. But if a New York woman is to be believed, a new language is springing up in the metropolis which promises to develop the worst phases of Anglomania.

When she answered a summons to the front door, she encountered a small boy who briefly remarked that he had come for "de foyndish." ; "The what?" ? "De foyndish." "Well," she said, in desperation, "I don't know what you want, but I am quite sure I haven't got it. Who sent you?" "De flogst. De flogst sent me fur de foyndish." This did not mend matters, and the boy was going down the steps whe:. a light suddenly burst upon the woman's mind, and she remembered that she had asked the florist to send for her fern dish. The boy was recalled, the dish was brought, and the amenities were restored.—Youth's Companion. Considerate. Hobb—l was out all last night, and now I can't think of a single excuse to give my wife. Nobb—Why don't you tell her the truth? "But I hate to disappoint her."