Humour.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 372, 25 June 1903, Page 7

Humour.

Every man who ia long oh vanity is short pa common sense. A weak man may be shamed oat of anything except his weaV ness. Gossips are people who go around stabere is something wrong with the man who doesn't secretly love praise. Without the. sense, of humor no man can enpy life'rrght up te the limit. ' Few men ever reach the point where they are able to look dawn on them selves. After securing the competence he struggled for a man invariably plans an extension. « % - If a small boy is chasing a bumble-bee and you hear him yell it is a sign that he has caught it. ' Won't you draw something for me, Mr Gayley?' pleaded little Harold.- ' I'm not much of an artist, Harold/ said Mr. Gayley. ' What shall I draw ?' * Draw a long bow.' |« A long bow P .What's that P' 'l* don't know, but papa says you can draw the long bow beautifully.' Mother: * There were two apples in this cupboard, Tommy, and now there is only one. How'Bthat?' Tommy (who sees no way to (scape): ' Well, ma, it was so dark in there I didn't see the other.' •You won't forget to give him the medicine every two hours ?' « Oh, no, sir ! Why, half an hour before it's time, he's holierin' that he won't take it I' Mrs. Hatterson: ' You don't mean to say that you have no theories about the education of children ?' ' Mrs. Oatterson 'No, I have too many children.' .-'There is a great deal in having servants wbo are accustomed to the ways of good society/ Eaid the experienced housekeeper, , . 'We have been remarkably fortunate in that respect.' answered young Mrs. Torkins. 'Our new girl won't do a thing we tell her unless we say 'please.' Without hearts there is no home.— Byron. • Oak timber, whan well seasoned, weighs 20 pei cent less than it does when green. _ is one of the characteristics