Varieties.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 369, 4 June 1903, Page 7

Varieties.

[ ■ —-» I COSTLY FAMOUS PEN. bidding occurred in Vienna %&K the other day at the auction of J MJ& late Count Falkenhayn's relics, especially when the pen with which, the poly.Beliance was signed,-on September 26,1816, -was offered for sale. | On that occasion the pea was used by Emperor Francis 1.,, Czar, Alexander 1., and King Frederick William 111, The bidding was started at 125f. and quickly rose to 500f., at which price the pen became the property of Consul-General von Lindeaheim. >' I■■■-- ■■■■>

POINTED PAEAGBAPHS, . A diplomat is a man who knows how to hold his job. Wise is the man who knons when to make a long story short. When a: fool gets angry he opens his mouthjaßd;Sb|itßsh)B eyes.,, ~,, moderation is the best policy. Love doesn't laugh at the locksmithoften enough to enable.him to pose as a profession humorist. The minds of men resemble the soils of old mother earth; some are deep and rich and some are shallow and poor. Before'noon a man is hopeful of accomplishing something by night. After noon he sidetracks his hopes for use next day.

IN A CBOWDED THEATEE. Recently at a theatre a gentleman felt the pressure of two little airy feet upon his patent leathers. At first the sensation was delightful. It made inexpressibly delightful thrille pass through his body, but these sensations wore away, and the pressure began to feel the least bit uncomfortable.

'Madam/ he,gently suggested, ,*you arg standing on myieet.* 1 f > ■ |Youif feet, air ?' /'| f| } 'Yes, madam.' .§ |' *

•'Goodness ! I beg your pardon] sir;' I thought I was standing on a block of wood. They are quite large enough, sir!' ' ' Quite' but you covered 'em, madam !'

THE INVENTOR OF THE ULSTEB. A story has been circulating recently which goes to prove that the inventor of the ulster was Donizetti. According to the tale, the musician one day, in Paris, sent for his tailor to measure him for an overcoat. The ninth part of a man' found him at the piano surrendering himself to the rapture of companions." He watfwith difficulty petsuaded to"quit jfcfce;. beloved instrument and ioS deliver self up to the man of tape and chalk. The : tailor made the first measurements, and then, stooping down, began to take the ' length of the garment. 'To the knees, sir ?' he asked, timidly. * Lower, lower,' answered the composer dreamily. The tailor brought the measure half-way down the leg, and paused inquiringly. 'Lower, lower.' The tailor reached the ankles. •Lower, lower.' .But, sir, youwon ? t-be ab'e to.walk.' • Walk, walk 1 LWnowahts towalfe?' be answered with an ecstatic lifting of the arms. ' I never walk; I soar!'

JAPAN MAKES GLASS. Minister liuok, of Tokio, sends a copy of a report made by Mr. Wilson, secretary of legation, in reply to an inquiry as to the promotion of wiHdow-?lass manufacture in Japan. After some discussion in the Japanese Diet in regard to the promotion of window-glass manufacture in Japan, the government has decided to establish at the industrial experiment station a model factory, or technical school for training workers in window-glass manufacture. Japvn affords the necessary materials for this .industry and' the cheap labour,;but lacks the skilled artisans necessary to make it a success.