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Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 368, 28 May 1903, Page 7

Finhikex Did" you receive many birthday cards, Misß Fairhair ?' Miss Fairhair: 'Oh ! yes; and there was one particularly dainty and artistic. I am sure it came from you.' \ Finniker (delighted) : ' Indeed ? What makes yon think so,?' Miss Fairhair: ' Because I sent it to you last year!'

Teacher: 'Willie, what is a quadruped?' Willie: 'A thing with four legs, sir.' Teacher: ' Name one.' r Willie:.'-An elephant'. - ,;j ,- Teacher: 'Are there any feathered quadrupeds?' 'Willie: «les,sir.' Teacher;: -What?' Willie.: ' A featber-bed, sir.' '

• : Dash away: 'You say your Bister will be down in a minute, Willie? That's good news. I thought perhaps that she wanted to be excused, as Bhe did the other day.' Willie: 'Not tHe time, I played a trick on her.' i

Daahaway: ' What did you do ?' ' I said you were another fellow!' ex claimed Willie, triumphantly.

Wha% is the difference between a School-master and a Postage Stamp? The one licks with a stick; the other sticks with a lick. ,

Why is a horse the most curious feeder in the world ? Because he eats best when he has not a bit in his mouth.

Would-Be Suitor: ' I desire to pay my addresses to your youngest daughter, sir. Have you any objections ?' Druggist: 'My youngest daughter iB already engaged, young man ; but I have another daughter as good,'

Aunt Mary (to young nephew): ' Well, Bobby, have you had all yon want ?' B obbj (heaviag a sigh) • ' I've had all I can eat, but I haven't had all I want.'