Ways of Living.

Alexandra Herald and Central Otago Gazette, Issue 362, 16 April 1903, Page 2

Ways of Living.

. THE POOR PABSON'S are certain professions in Wsm w *" c h marriages, are antagonistic to success. The Services—Army and Navj—are admirable for the preliminaries of marriage—fatal to its early achievement. But the Church holds an entirely unique position. It is a position by-itself? in which the modern 'cash' valuation* counts for little. We are said to be under the i ale of a democracy. It often seems truer to write 'plutocracy*—the rule of wealth. Good birth counts for something', especially among those who guard its possession as their most priceless treasure; but power to-day is largely in the handß of wealth, and a man is reckoned at his "(SaahT valtta.* Makkying on a Small Income. But tne Church stands entirely apart from.this; and,'in conpeauence, a clergyman can marry on a smaller income without 'losing caste' thari the ordinary professional man. It is recognised that few men take orders with a view to a career, but rather that many abandon all hope of what the world calls success for a nobler dream; and, therefore, money admittedly being net the object' of the clergyman, tbere is no stain of failure upon him if ho is poor. Added to this> the maj rity. of; the clergy are educated—many of them' University men—cultured and refined, and their very position forces: upon them the role of leaders, r \

The question of great wealth, then, with its concomitant; •establishment' to keep up, does not call for much attention in dealing with the Church; but if you are face to face with a 'clerical problem' there are one or two matters you should bear in mind.; -, | "«3 <

Is Thebe Enough to Live on P

The clergy as' a class are a terribly improvident lot as to marriage. . yj

That there „is ample. inducement I id;iuit. The loneliness of a clerical lifo in a poor parish, tho lack of all social inter-course"-with people of equal' rank and education; muit be rexperiehced to be understood. It is little wonder, then, if hia thoughts turn to a companion in his labours.

Now, if you are the suggested;companion, what is to be your-answer ? • I believe you ought very seriously to consider this matter of ways and means from a practical and c. minors-sense point of view. , But if there's enough for you both to live on, both now and in the later and still happier days, when the bond between-, yon is even closer from your common. interest in those '*.-'■ '

' Whose tiny hands unconscious hold : : The keys of darkness and of morn,' I believe there are few happier lives for those whose heart is in parish work than that of a clergyman's wife. She can be of such boundless help to him in all matters that she is conscious of bor uso to him, hot only in his home, but in his work. She has the right to feel that she is part of all his life. Very few wives can take as great "a part in their husband's life as a parson's/wife. - Bat yet in. spite of this, remember that if you marry on ah insufficiency, you will spoil his-work and your own happiness. • Dealingjlthen;. withithe question from jhe'ambitious' point of view v J think we may summarise matters' by., paying that ambition is not the'same "pr'dblem to the clergyman as, it is to the ordinary professional man, but thai, gi ven,ft sufficiency of means, you need. ask;, no more, as his position is judged more by 'what he doeß* than by ' what he makes,' and that if you are the right woman in therieht pla.qe, 'what he-does' will be; materially improved by.your helping presonce. The .'GbojvnSjp Fofs' oe;the Pabish. ■ May I add one remark—assuming t.h.at you marry a clergyman, anditsettla in a neighbourhood where there are any grown-up boys and young men—l mean of tho public school and 'Varsity type ?

The numbers of these who live in the suburbs of London is enormous. There is no class more utterly neglected by the Church, i Probably the Church is a little afraid of them. I'm not going to discuss whose fault that is. I only w&Bt to suggest to you that sometimes lodgings are very lonely. . Get to know; thera somehow, and then 'ask them in/ If ybh risk them to callj perhaps they'll •■ come once in a top-hat and a frockcoat. Don't do that Hove one evening every week whehybur husband'is at hoine. Tell them to 'drop in/ and ' not to trouble to dress ' Adjure them. to bring pipes, and don't talk religion to them. If they havej got any views on the subject you'll' hear them soon enough. Man at that age is generally face to face with ' the eternal problems,' and nothing gives him greater delight than to pour out his difficulties to a sympathetic ear. But it must be spontaneous. Your interest in him must be social, not parochial, If he once dreams for a moment that you are trying 'to get hold of the young men oithe parish as a class,' he will shrink in terror from visions of what he will term ' smug houndbrs with turn-down collars,' and you will see him no more. Be sensible. Treat them as.you would your own brothers, and not as parishioners. You will be doing for tbem and for their mothers' peace of mind than you dream of.